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  • -Hi, guys.

  • Welcome to another edition of "Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • The sun came out just now, so I figured it's a perfect time

  • to maybe do the intro from outside.

  • We have a great show tonight, but before we get into the show,

  • I just do want to say it's so tough this week.

  • It's Thursday.

  • And I know everyone's at home, doing their part,

  • staying at home, which is great.

  • I just wanted to give a special shout-out tonight

  • to New York City, because we do our show

  • from Manhattan, in New York City.

  • And we're very lucky to do our show from there.

  • And, so, I just want to say, New York City,

  • you're in my thoughts all the time, but especially today.

  • We're losing a lot of great people --

  • transit workers, sanitation workers,

  • firefighters, police officers,

  • people that are just doing their jobs.

  • And that's all they're doing.

  • And I just want to let them know that they will not be forgotten,

  • and what they're doing is an amazing job,

  • and you make our country proud.

  • So thank you so much.

  • And just like the sun, the sun will shine again.

  • It will.

  • And we'll be back in the city, doing the show from there.

  • We have an amazing show tonight.

  • My favorites of all time, rap icons, New York City icons --

  • speaking of New York -- Ad-Rock and Mike D

  • from the Beastie Boys are on the show tonight.

  • And their charity is foodbanknyc.org.

  • Again, thank you, Winnie, for drawing these.

  • It kind of looks like I could have done this one.

  • Anyway...

  • But the Beasties have a story called

  • "The Beastie Boys Story" on Apple TV+ this Friday,

  • coming out.

  • Also, we have Anna Kendrick, whose film, "Trolls World Tour,"

  • is out, also on Friday.

  • And Universal/DreamWorks did this cool thing where they're

  • releasing it through TV

  • so you don't have to go to theaters.

  • I think that's a good move.

  • Her charity she's working with is The Trevor Project,

  • which helps out LGBTQ youth communities.

  • And you'll see what they do, the great stuff,

  • if you go to that website.

  • Also, our buddy Sting -- speaking of legends --

  • stops by to help me and The Roots out.

  • We might have forced him to do it.

  • Might have.

  • But you'll see what we do with classroom instruments --

  • kind of -- just stuff that we can do

  • around our house with The Roots.

  • It's an all-new "Tonight Show."

  • Let's start it with a monologue. ♪♪

  • Hi, guys.

  • Welcome to "The Tonight Show: At Home Edition."

  • Well, Passover started last night,

  • and I heard a lot of people celebrating

  • held virtual Seders using Zoom.

  • It's great if you ever wanted to watch your grandpa

  • eat soup from the perspective of the spoon.

  • I saw that Pope Francis will be

  • streaming Easter mass on YouTube.

  • You know these are strange times when

  • the pope ends Easter mass with, "Be sure to like and subscribe.

  • Smash that like button."

  • -Wait. Was that number 2? -Yeah.

  • It certainly was. Frances?

  • That's right -- Easter is in a few days,

  • but there is an egg shortage.

  • Did you hear that? Yeah.

  • Which means a lot of kids won't be able to dye eggs.

  • So if you're a bald dad, do the right thing --

  • let your kids color your head.

  • ♪♪

  • Yesterday, Dr. Fauci said he doesn't think

  • that we should ever shake hands again,

  • which will be weird when every job interview

  • starts with an awkward chest bump.

  • Are you pretending that you're serious again?

  • Well, why don't you just smile and just --

  • -I am. -What are you doing?

  • That means you're being serious? [ Both laugh ]

  • What does that mean? "Sesame Street's"...

  • [ Laughter ]

  • "Sesame Street's" Elmo is hosting a virtual playdate

  • to help entertain kids during the pandemic.

  • Meanwhile, the Count will help parents add up

  • all the pounds they've gained during the quarantine.

  • [ As the Count ] 10, 20, 30 pounds.

  • Ha ha ha!

  • You ate too many cookies. Ha ha ha!

  • [ Normal voice ] I don't know what that is.

  • I don't get it.

  • I don't really know what that means.

  • Alright, guys, sit up. Sit up. Here we go.

  • Ready? Some business news.

  • Disney+ has added more than 50 million subscribers

  • in the last five months.

  • That's incredible.

  • That's like taking all of Quibi's subscribers

  • and adding 50 million.

  • I saw that Verizon has now stopped

  • all in-home repairs and installations

  • except for emergencies.

  • Meanwhile, parents were like,

  • "I'm stuck with two kids under 10 and no Internet.

  • This is an emergency."

  • Hello!

  • Hey, put your hand on top of my hand and say, "Wing-wing."

  • -Wing-wing.

  • -Hello?

  • -I'm gonna do that. -Alright.

  • -Wing-wing. -Wing-wing.

  • -Hello? [ Laughter ]

  • -Can I do that again? -Yep, you can.

  • Hold on. Let me tell a joke first.

  • Waffle House is starting to sell its signature waffle mix

  • and sold out of it in four hours.

  • The first 30 people who bought it also got

  • a lipstick-stained mug and a dried-up syrup container.

  • And, finally, I saw that April is National Poetry Month

  • or, as parents who are homeschooling put it,

  • "Merlot is red, Bud Light is blue.

  • Today, mommy and daddy need juice time, too."

  • There you go, everybody. That is our monologue!

  • It's time for "Hashtags"!

  • Yay! -Whoo-hoo!

  • -Hi, everybody. It's time for "Hashtags."

  • We played this game online where we give you

  • a subject or a topic and then we ask you to comment on all those.

  • And, so, our subject was "my quarantine superpower"

  • this week.

  • We went on Twitter, and I put an example.

  • I said, "I have the superpower --

  • I can start an argument with a single look."

  • And, anyways, thank you, guys, so much for submitting.

  • It was number 5 trending, so thank you so much for that.

  • I appreciate it.

  • So, now I'd like to do this week's "Hashtags."

  • You ready? -Yeah.

  • -I'll give it to you. You give it to Franny, okay?

  • This one is from @PSU-Rose.

  • She said, "I can tell the U.S. Mail truck

  • from the UPS truck from the FedEx truck

  • based only on the sound of their engines and brakes."

  • -What do I do with this? -You can stack them.

  • This is from @LizSin35.

  • "I can make my face look like I'm fascinated

  • when my husband tells the same story again."

  • That got a smile. Here you go, bud.

  • This one's from @RoamingOceans.

  • Said, "Rapid wine-evaporation capabilities."

  • This one's from ScottinOhio4Now.

  • It says, "I can make the numbers on my scale go up every day."

  • Oh, that's a good power.

  • There you go.

  • -[ Laughs ]

  • -This one is from FedUpHumanKS.

  • "Convincing my kid I'm on Zoom

  • when I just want to be alone for a bit."

  • -Um, Daddy, why are you sitting on me?

  • -Who is saying that? -Me.

  • -Where are you coming from? -Behind you.

  • -Are you upstairs? -Just look behind you!

  • Right down. -Are you a flamingo?

  • -Down!

  • -Let's just go to our last hashtag.

  • This one's from @MaryBarry80.

  • She says, "Is rage a superpower?"

  • Those were our "Hashtags."

  • Thank you so much for submitting.

  • I really appreciate it.

-Hi, guys.

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今夜秀。在家版(標籤:#MyQuarantineSuperPower)。 (The Tonight Show: At Home Edition (Hashtags: #MyQuarantineSuperPower))

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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