And when you are your own biggest judge, you can become your own jailer.

而當你是自己最大的法官時，容易導致自我囚禁。

For the past year, I have felt imprisoned in my own head.

過去幾年，我都被自己設下的枷鎖囚禁著。

As an artist, I've been stuck, and no amount of inspiration has been able to give me the freedom to create.

身為藝術家，內心的囚禁會導致靈感枯竭，失去創作的原動力。

This feeling led me to abandon my personal projects and instead help others bring their visions to life.

而這份感受迫使我放棄個人創作，我開始去幫助其他人實現他們的願景。

It's not that I didn't have ideas or want to create.

我不是完全沒有想法或者討厭創作。

It's just when it's not your own story, it isn't as scary to put into the world.

只是將他人的願望付諸現實比較沒那麼可怕。

For nearly six months, I've worked all around the world helping others.

近六個月，我都在幫助世界各地的人完成他們的願望。

I thought that letting go of the creative decisions would allow me to breathe as an artist.

我原本以為放下富有創造力的決定可以讓我繼續以藝術家的身分好好地生活。

It hasn't worked out, I mean sure I've made some money, but at the end of the day, the goals and the dreams I had for myself never went anywhere.

但結果並不如預期，雖然賺了點錢，但到頭來我的夢想和抱負仍未實現。

I just chose to ignore them because I wasn't able to move forward with my ideas with any confidence.

先前的我因為缺乏自信而沒辦法執行我的想法，所以選擇了無視它們。

I've let the pressure of an audience influence my creative process.

我讓觀眾帶給我的壓力深深影響了整個創作過程。

I stopped viewing my work as an artist and just began viewing it as a judge.

所以，我不再認為自己是位藝術家，而是把自己視為一位法官。

Over time I realized that the thing holding me back was perfectionism.

後來，我意識到一直以來拖累我的正是追求完美的性格。

The dictionary defines perfectionism as a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable.

完美主義在字典上的定義是無法接受一絲錯誤的個性。

You hear a lot of people call themselves perfectionists.

你大概聽過很多人都說自己是個完美主義者。

And usually it's said as some sort of like a humblebrag, but for me perfectionism was an anchor.

那起來只不過是一種假裝謙虛的自誇方式，但對我而言，完美主義是我的精神支柱。

The thought of making mistakes was paralyzing.

想到可能會犯錯就讓我停滯不前。

Everything had to be perfect or it wasn't even worth trying.

所有事情都要完美，否則不值得一試。

So I thought one simple realization was able to break these binds holding me back.

我想到一個能夠解決現況的方法，就是打破這些囚禁我內心的枷鎖。

When you look at yourself in a mirror, you don't see what everyone else sees.

當你凝視著鏡中的自己，你會看到別人不曾注意到的缺點。

You're overly critical of every detail.

你太吹毛求疵了。

We all wish we could change something we see, but the reality is that those changes are things almost no one else would notice.

我們都希望可以改變看到的缺點，但其實其他人根本不會發現那些缺點。

What I realized is that my art is no different.

後來，我也知道這道理可以套用在藝術創作上。

I was criticizing my work so heavily because I was viewing it in a mirror.

一直以來，我都透過鏡子來檢視自己的藝術創作，導致我對我的創作太嚴苛。

I knew what I wanted to see and if I couldn't make it exactly that I didn't see any point in trying.

以前的我只要覺得結果跟自己想像中不一樣，我就會放棄嘗試。

But, when you view your work like that, you'll never be happy.

但是這樣的想法只會讓自己鬱鬱寡歡。

There's always a change that can be made.

無論如何都一定有改變的空間。

It's an endless cycle of judgment and abandonment.

這會引發批評和放棄的無限循環。

Perfection in my mind is a measure of how well something does, what it is intended to do.

完美主義是一種衡量事物做得夠不夠好的方式或是一種自我期望。

I create art to express myself sure, but the real goal is to create something that evokes emotion from my audience, from all of you.

我喜歡透過藝術來展現自我，但我的終極目標是希望可以透過藝術來激發觀眾們的情感。

And if my work does that then it's as perfect as it needs to be.

只要我的創作達到這個目標，那麼其實它就算是完美了。

Scott Adams said: "Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes; art is knowing which ones to keep."

Scott Adams 曾說過：「創造力就是給你犯錯的空間，而藝術就是知道哪些該被保留。」

I'll never be able to show you exactly what I see in my head.

我永遠都無法把我腦中的想法百分之百地呈現出來。

And at best, it'll be an approximation with some flaws.

最好的情況只能盡量接近原貌，但必定有些缺點。

But that's okay, because those flaws will be the mistakes I will learn to accept and choose to keep.

不過沒關係，因為我會從這些缺點中學習並保留部分的錯誤。