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  • It is a very gray and rainy day outside,

  • so having a cup of tea is incredibly comforting.

  • And this is our first 'Tea-time Tuesday' segment in the new studio.

  • Finding happiness is something I was hoping we could chat about today

  • and I know that it's an incredibly difficult topic to cover because every person is so individual

  • when it comes to how they feel happy and what makes them happy.

  • And, the topic of happiness: I feel like it's been tackled by philosophers since the dawn of man

  • and there seems to be kind of no trivial answer when we are looking at how people can become more happy.

  • But when we look at something like social media or commercials, they make it seem like it's not even a question at all.

  • They give us the impression that, you know, if you buy a certain thing or if you look a certain way,

  • then you'll become happy.

  • They make it seem like happiness is conditional.

  • If you do this, then you'll be happy.

  • By now I think we've all learned, from one source or another, that social media is heavily curated.

  • We selectively, and very carefully, choose what we share with the world.

  • The content that I share is very much included in all of that.

  • So for example, I share with you meals that I authentically eat at home.

  • But I plate it in a way that I wouldn't normally do if I was eating it alone at home. Cause I grab some

  • artsy-looking bowls. I place it on a backdrop with some accent pieces that color complement the food.

  • I make things look a little bit messy.

  • I add garnishes to make it look really pretty.

  • And, I do all of that because it's an art form for me,

  • but I think it gives people the impression that, that's what my food looks like all the time. But it's not!

  • It's the whole expectation vs reality bit.

  • And the same thing happens when we are scrolling through social media

  • and we see these people who look like they're living exceptionally happy lives.

  • And we start to think to ourselves, "Maybe if I do what they're doing,

  • then I'll also be happy.

  • Maybe if I travel more, then I'll be happy.

  • If I buy that outfit,

  • that makeup, that jewelry, then I'll be happy."

  • "Maybe I don't have time for that, because I'm studying, but if and when I graduate then I'll be happy."

  • It's this game we're constantly playing and it's a game we're never winning.

  • And it's the If... then game. "If I get fit, then I'll be happy."

  • "If I find a loving and supportive partner, then I'll be happy."

  • If... then. If... then. If... then.

  • And it's a very toxic way of thinking.

  • And, I think it's toxic for a couple of reasons.

  • For one: it makes us feel like happiness is something that only comes later and as a result of something.

  • But, that is definitely not the case!

  • Happiness is something we can all tap into at any moment.

  • And the second reason it's toxic:

  • let's say we do that thing; we go travel,

  • we graduate, we buy that jewelry, we get fit, we have that partner.

  • Then what?

  • Cause from my experience, it's always something else.

  • The bar keeps getting set higher and higher, and happiness seems to be this thing that is forever out of reach.

  • And, that's how a lot of us can end up feeling like we're stuck in a rut.

  • So what can we do about it?

  • I think there are three things we can do.

  • For one: catch that thinking dead in its tracks. If you notice yourself doing the If... then thinking,

  • remind yourself that it's important to have aspirations and dreams and desires,

  • but achieving those things alone will not make you happy.

  • Other things can also bring about happiness!

  • Number two: in that exact moment when you notice yourself doing the If... then thinking

  • try to shift your mindset and, one way to do that is to just stop, look around you, and start saying "thank you."

  • "thank you, thank you, thank you."

  • for everything thats around you.

  • Maybe you live in a certain home,

  • or you're surrounded by certain people, you live in a certain country.

  • There is things to be thankful for.

  • I think that when we do the If... then thinking, we are focusing on the things that we lack.

  • But when we say "thank you," we are grateful for the things that we have.

  • And, so you might want to travel really badly, but we live in a country where a lot of people come to as tourists.

  • Is there a way that maybe you can be a tourist in your own country?

  • It's just about shifting the mindset a little bit.

  • We might not have graduated yet, but we have the ability to get an education.

  • We have the ability to advance our knowledge.

  • We might not have a partner, but maybe we have supportive friends or family.

  • The point of this is to focus on the things that we have instead of the things that we lack.

  • And number three:

  • I think it's really important to also mention, that it's okay to not be in the state of happiness all the time,

  • contrary to what social media makes you believe.

  • That's just being human! And, I think that's sometimes the flaw of some of the self-improvement movement.

  • It makes us feel like if we're not stronger, happier, faster, better versions of our former selves then we've failed in some way.

  • We feel guilty for feeling the ups and downs of life, but that's just characteristic to being human.

  • We need the ups and downs and hardships to learn and grow.

  • And those down moments help us appreciate the up moments so much more!

  • So if I can summarize: happiness is this very difficult and complex topic to explore but it's the state of emotion that we are all constantly striving to achieve.

  • And, I think one important way that we can do that is to be grateful for the things that we have instead of focusing on the things that we lack.

  • So trying to minimize that if... then thinking whenever we can,

  • and to realize that it's only human to feel down sometimes

  • and to not, kind of feel, guilty for feeling that way.

  • And, also, before I sign off, there is one more thing

  • I've been wanting to mention for a while now.

  • I think that's it for today.

  • Thanks a lot for enjoying this cup of tea with me! I hope you guys have an awesome week ahead.

  • We'll see you in the next video!!!

It is a very gray and rainy day outside,

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A2 初級 美國腔

如果你這樣做,那麼你就會很開心了 (If you do this ,then you'll be happy)

  • 83 3
    林雲淡 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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