that you should not do in Spain?

Today we're covering those unwritten social rules

that I've learned the hard way so you don't need to.

(speaks foreign language)

Let's go!

(Spanish guitar music)

- Hey guys I'm James Blick.

- And I'm Yolanda Martin.

- And welcome to Spain Revealed.

This channel's all about helping you

explore Spain like a local.

And look, Spain is a pretty easygoing place,

but in the eight years I've been here

there's a number of things that I've learned,

a number of rules that I've learned,

with your help Yoly, that are things that you just don't do.

They're what we would call social faux pas.

- And the things that if you keep in mind,

you will be a bit more in sync

with the locals when you're here.

- And so we're gonna count down from 11.

We're gonna go through the rules that I've learned.

In each case I'm gonna state the rule,

and I'm gonna get your take on it Yoly.

- And stick around until the end,

because number one is really important.

- Okay, rule number 11.

Here in Spain we don't say thank you and please,

gracias and por favor constantly.

When I first moved here,

I felt like I was saying it all the time,

because in English we do say thank you and please a lot.

When we're in shops, when we're you know,

in our constant day-to-day interactions with people,

we're constantly using those words.

But here in Spain, I just had this weird feeling

that I was saying it too much.

And so, how does that work here Yoly?

- I think it's a matter of tone,

you know, so you imply the thanks or the please

a little bit more in the way we speak.

So, you know for example, at a bar you're going to say

(speaks in foreign language)

So that's more like you know,

can you pour me a beer when you can?

So, you know by--

- And was there a little rise in inflection there.

- Yeah, there's like that kind of,

like a nice sort of inflection of the voice.

And also, yeah and in that ito,

you know, meaning like a term of endearment.

So, instead of (speaks in foreign language)

you say (speaks in foreign language).

- So a little diminutive.

- Yes exactly!

Which kind of eases everything a little bit.

- It softens it.

Yeah, so instead of using the words

please and thank you constantly,

it's like, it's interesting how you are

building into the language, and into the tone,

those kind of social cues.

And that is really hard for a new Spanish speaker.

I know for me, I still tend to,

if I don't think I can get the tone right,

maybe there is a lot of noise,

and I can't quite get it right,

I will use (speaks in foreign language),

just to kinda make sure that I'm not being impolite.

I know that there's been times when I have not used them,

and you've said "Oh, you didn't quite get the tone right,

it sounded like a command."

- But I mean, it is allowed

to say (speaks in foreign language)

you know, so you want to really, yeah, make it clear,

then go ahead, say (speaks in foreign language).

- Exactly. Okay rule number 10.

When you're eating at a Spanish table,

don't put your bread on your plate.

This was really interesting when I first moved here,

because we use bread constantly here.

You know, bread is used to mop up food

and to push things onto your fork,

but I would often have a piece of bread,

and everybody has a piece of bread while they're eating.

And I would find a spot on my plate,

but we don't do that here right?

- No it's more, I guess that bread is considered

a utensil as well, in a way,

so, you put it next to your knife and fork.

Also, if you put it on your plate, it might get soggy,

so you don't want to be then using your hands

to pick out the bread and soak the things,

and it's all soggy.

- It's interesting, and I love how in the end,

the fact that we don't put bread on the plate

actually reflects the root of that,

is how we use bread differently here.

They say we use it as an utensil,

I think that's very cool.

I love it because it feels very medieval,

to have your big chunk of bread

sitting right on your table.

So, I think it's really fun, and something I really enjoy.

So, rule number nine.

And it's another eating one, eating ones are fascinating,

and that is, you shouldn't have either of your hands

under the table when you're eating.

I grew up being told off for having my elbows on the table,

and you're not allowed to do that here either.

- No, no, no.

- But there's this extra one that didn't exist

in New Zealand, of not having one of your hands

under the table while you're eating,

and you tell me off for this quite often, because I forget.

So what is this rule all about?

- Yeah, I mean, I have no idea why it is.

I was told once that it might be just to make sure

that you don't have a knife under the table,

that you might stab me.

More back to medieval times--

- So much trust in our relationship.

- It's true that I feel kind of weird

if I have someone that is kind of eating,

and their hand is there.

It's like, just show yourself there.

It's very cultural I guess, I have that feeling.

- There is something very Spanish in that, I love it.

It makes me conjures memories,

think thoughts of the Spanish Inquisition.

I might have a dagger under the table

or something like that.

But I think that, when we think about,

and I believe this is the case,

the root of why we shake hands,

is to show that you don't have a weapon,

to kind of reveal yourself to someone.

And I think it's probably the same thing.

You let us know in the comments

if that exists in any other country where you're watching,

'cause I'm really curious about that one.

But remember, keep your hands above the table!

Okay, rule number eight.

If someone comes to your house

at about 5:00 p.m., don't offer them a drink,

a beer or a glass of wine.

And so, what happened here, and I really remember this

when we first moved here, is that a couple that we know,

Diego and Sonya, they came over,

and you were talking to Sonya I'm not sure but,

Diego, I offered him a beer, and it was five p.m.,

and he was like, I don't want a beer,

I want a cafe con leche.

And I was like, oh, of course, it's like,

too early to have a beer.

But, in New Zealand you would offer someone a beer

if they came over at five p.m.

So, unpack this a little bit for us.

- Yeah so, you know in the end, we have lunch later,

we have dinner later, so of course

beer o'clock is not five p.m.

it's like eight p.m., nine p.m. usually.

So we do delay the time of having a beer.

- I really like that way of thinking about

beer o'clock is not at five p.m.

Beer o'clock is eight p.m. in Spain.

That's very, very cool.

He had his cafe con leche, I quickly put the beer

back in the fridge and grabbed the--

- Felt embarrassed.

- Felt like an alcholic and made coffee,

I didn't have a beer even though I was ready for one,

we'd just moved here.

And so, what happened is, he did have a beer later,

but he just needed his cup of coffee and things like that.

Okay, rule number seven.

When you go to someone's house for dinner,

or a party, you don't stay behind to help with the dishes.

Now, I'm curious about this one because,

maybe it was just the time we were living in New Zealand,

or something about our circle of friends,

so I'm really keen to hear your thoughts.

In New Zealand I felt like you would sort of stay behind

and help with the dishes or help tidy up,

but here, I remember being really surprised

that once the party's over, once the dinner party's over,

you just leave, you're out.

- I'm out.

- Which is great if you're at someone's house,

and terrible if they're at your house.

So, is there something here Yoly?

- I would say that a little bit of tidying up

is allowed and thanked for, so yeah,

people might get up and they take the dishes

to the kitchen and stuff like that.

But then to go as far as to actually doing the dishes,

that is a little bit much.

I don't think a lot of people do that here in Spain.

- So something to keep in mind,

because, if maybe you said to your Spanish hosts,

hey, I'll stay behind and do the dishes,

how would that make them feel?

- I saw your face - You know just go away, now.

Give me a break.

I already had you for like three, four hours.

- Let us know in the comments,

do you stay behind and do the dishes

when you go to friend's houses for dinner?

Okay rule number six, and this is another one

about social situations.

You know, you're not gonna do the dishes,

but the other thing is, when you go into a party

for example, often in English, at least in New Zealand,

I think the culture is, and I suspect in the states,

in the UK, one of the first questions

you will ask people is, what their job is.

You know, oh, so what do you do?

And that's kind of a safe way to start a conversation.

But if you said here in Spain,

(speaks in foreign language)

What's your job?

How would that be for a Spaniard?

- Yeah well, it's definitely not the first question

that you'll ask, you know?

We tend to you know, we're socializing,

we're like having fun, so usually,

unless you're really passionate about your work,

you don't talk about work straight away like that.

Maybe, if it's relevant at some point,

you're talking about what you do in your day-to-day,

then, yes maybe you're going to say what do you do?

But, other than that, yeah,

usually you don't get straight there, no.

- Yeah, it's almost a bit pesado, would you say?

- Yes, a little bit pesado.

- It's a great word, pesado.

Pesado means to be intense, and so I think sometimes

in social situations in Spain,

I found that I could come across as a bit pesado.

Because I will come in and I will be like,

hey what's your job?

And it's like whoa, back off!

- I'm having fun here.

- Exactly, let's kinda ease into the conversation.

And it's a little bit like more