And I'm like, Oh, God, I havetoshovelthesnowbecause I don't wantthosetogotoprison.
Stupidoldladies!
Ah, I wastricked.
I wastrickedtoshovelsnow.
LifeinSwedenisnoteasy.
I'm sorry.
Feelfreetoshareyourstories.
I wanttohearWhenmybrotherwaslikenine, hesaidGetthe F sensor G insteadofthegiftofhigh.
Oh, I seeinthishonorablelikesotheybanhimandhecried.
Sohey, threwuponthecarpet, huh?
That's somehardascrying.
I hadtoworkovernightlastnightandwhiletaking a naptoday I wasvandalized.
I have a pictureand I havedetainedthetwosuspects.
Butoneisnotcooperating.
Theonlyonewhocanspeakblamesitonthefourleggedsuspectwasnohandstopullsuch a stuntthankstomyneighborforpointingoutthat I have a markerallovermyfacewhen I takethefourleggedsuspectfor a walkbefore I realizedthat I wasvandalized.
Well, itseemslikekids.
Oneparentzeroyougotplayed, fool.
Imaginebeingoutsmartedby a child.
Daughterdidn't wantsonscream.
So I putheroutsideandyell, son, gether!
Andnowshe's liftingup.
Ah, yes.
Well, I guessyouknowwhat I live, mate.
I fellforthewholecarrotmean, rightthatifyoueat a carrot, youcanseewellinthedark.
But I neveratethecarrotsanyway, soitdoesn't matter.
Oh, myGod.
Now I remember.
Oh, God, It's allcomingtome.
I lovechickenas a childsoawaymymomwouldmakemeeatfoodWasshewouldtellmeeverythingischicken.
I waslike, Oh, whatWhatisthismeat?
Andmymomwaslike, Oh, it's chicken.
Youlovechicken, right?
Buthegotto a pointwhereshejustsaideverythingwaschicken.
I rememberpointingoutofonionand I waslikeMom, whatisthis?
I don't likethis.
Thistastesbad.
Andmymomwaslike, No, that's a chicken.
I'm like, No, itisn't.
Andthat's when I realizedparentsarefrickingliars.
Samewouldsenttheclaws.
Goddamn, It's unethicaltolietoChildren.
I feellikethere's somanythingsthatyouwerelyingat.
Hasthereeverbeen?
I'm curious, haseverbeenanythingyouweretaughtas a child, andyoujustdon't questionitforlike, 10 yearsandthenyourAndthenyou'reabouttotellsomeonesomethinglike, actuallyAh, thatonionis a chickenandthenyourealize, OhGod, it's unethical.
Soonceyoudid, I remember I wenttoPamelaAndersondotcomorsomethinglikethat.
And I waslike, I needtosavorthis.
I reallyexplainthis, sir, butnow I onlygotfarenoughinit.
I don't knowhowmyparentscanknowthis, So I needtosavorthis.
Thefactthat I'm going, I'm breakingthisbarrierbygointothiswebsite, so I needtosavorit.
So I printthatthephotos, likethegenius I am, I'm like, arethisway.
I don't havetokeepgoingbacktothiswebsiteandriskgettingcaught.
Butthen I had a geniusepiphanythatthat's not a goodidea, thatthat's tangibleevidence.
Okay, I shouldjustcanceltheseprints, and I canceltheprinceandwentonwithmydaytosomerice, a storytheystillprintedat a latertimeWhenmydadwasattheprinterandheshowedmethepicturesanditwasepicbecominganactualboomerlikesayingthesamestoriestwice.