could get lots of people to watch us if we changed a couple of things.

Oh, I know.

Huh.

Hi, James from engVid.

Mr. E seems to know everything.

You know what's interesting about knowing everything?

You actually stop knowing anything at all.

Hi.

What I want to do on today's lesson is I want to talk about the word "I know".

It is a word that is used by many English speakers who are just starting to learn the

language.

In fact, it's used a lot by native speakers, unthinkingly, to cover all sorts of situations.

In today's lesson, I'm going to give you some new phrases, I'm going to give you some new

vocabulary that we can take the same idea that comes from "I know" and use it to further

our communication skills.

Now, why is this important?

A lot of times, we watch videos and they give you the tools but don't explain why or where

you'll use them.

I like to make sure I take an opportunity in this video to make sure I not only teach

you why but where it is most beneficial for you to use the new vocabulary.

You ready?

Let's go to the board.

Now, when you look at the words here "I know", I've outlined or really put "no" in a big

sense.

We even say the word "no", and when in English we say "no" it means "stop" or "I don't like"

or something negative.

When you use "I know" in a sentence and it's not used in its most effective manner, it

tends to stop conversation or make people feel as though you're not listening and they're

not understood, which makes difficult conversations actually more difficult and go on longer.

Now, before I say another word, I want to say hello to Prachi and Andrew.

We met at the McCaul eating area, and you guys were having a conversation and you were

really graceful and great and allowed me to use some of this lesson on you and help me

fix this lesson up, so I greatly appreciate that.

And this English saves conflict resolution.

I want to use a quote from Theodore Roosevelt.

He's a former American president.

Most of you won't know who he is because he's been dead a long time.

One of their better presidents, and he had a quote that I really like that kind of helps

with this lesson.

Theodore said, "Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care".

I want to change that last statement of "care" to "understand".

Once people understand that you have an interest in what you're saying, then they know that

you care.

And, funny enough, "understand" is one of the words we're going to use instead of "know"

in order to create greater communication skills.

Now that you know why we're doing the lesson:

* To further your communication *

* Make sure you're understood *

* Let people know you understand them *

Why don't we get to the lesson, right?

Now, the best way to go about this is to look at what does "know" mean?

It's a short form of "knowledge", it's a verb, which is nice, but what it really means is

to know something means you know something through information, observation, or inquiry.

Inquiry means to ask questions.

If you ask a question, then you'll get to know something, alright?

"Why is the sky blue?"

Blah blah blah blah, I will tell you, now you know.

Observation, now you watch.

You see two bunnies running across the grass, it's springtime, one bunny jumps atop the

other bunny, they're playing, you know why they're doing that, alright?

And information; you read something or you watch a video or a YouTube video and you learn.

Now, that's knowing something.

But if you notice something, when we talk about knowing in this particular case, knowing

is not actually talking about understanding.

Although people confuse these two words, they don't really appreciate how those two words

can affect a conversation.

I'm going to borrow a cell phone for a second, and I want to show you something.

All of you have used cell phones before, and you know how to use them.

I know you do, right?

I say to text me "blah blah blah" send me this "blah blah blah".

Now, what happens if I took this cell phone, I took it apart to all the smallest parts

and laid them on the floor, okay?

And I said to you "Put them together".

Could you do that?

No.

So you know how to use the technology, but you don't understand how it works to put it

back together again.

And that's the power of the words that I'm going to give you now.

That'll give you that power of putting it back together and even creating something

new out of it and creating greater communication skills.

So, let's start over here.

I said stop saying "I know".

I give you five phrases to improve the communication, so let's talk about number one: "recognize".

Right in the middle of "cog" means "thinking".

"Cognition", thinking, and recognize means to go back and to think.

The meaning of "recognize" here is to acknowledge a truth, existence, or validity of something.

That's a lot of noise and movement.

It's to say I notice what you said and what you said had some truth to it.

Notice I didn't say "I know", I said "I noticed".

I could say "I know what you said, and when you said it to me, there was some truth that

I have to say is true".

When something's valid, we say there's truth to it and acknowledge saying "I'm going to

say this is true".

So, that's more than I know.

When you say - if I say to you "It's raining outside" and you go "I know" and I might say

that I recognize that the weather is bad, not only do I have this knowledge, I'm saying

there's validity to what you're saying, alright?

Cause it's not just "it's raining", you're saying the weather is bad, there's a bit more

to it.

And on that, I'm going to come back when I talk about understanding intent.

The second, and this is different than "I know", but it's "from my perspective".

When you say "from my perspective", it is to give your opinion and attitude on a subject,

but "spec" meaning "to look at", you're actually saying "I see this".

I see what you're saying because I'm aware of what you're saying.

In other words, I know what you're saying, and I see from this knowledge of knowing what

you are saying to me.

That was nice, right, from this knowledge of knowing, I have an opinion on that.

So, I have the same knowledge you have, but the way I interpret it, the way I feel about

it, the way I see it is different than you.

So that is acknowledging the person saying I know it, got it, okay, cool, but I see it

in a different way.

For instance, I'm standing here.

And when I'm standing here, they're different positions, although we're in the same room,

cool.

So, you can use that one.

So, "From my perspective, that's an interesting point" means I know what you're talking about

and I like it.

"Appreciate".

Appreciate is an interesting word, because by itself, I always think "appreciate" means

"to be thankful", to say thanks for something.

"I appreciate you helping me", I'm really -- I'm thankful for it.

When I look at appreciate and we use it instead of "I know", it's saying I recognize the implications

and true value of the subject.

An example of this would be if someone says to you "Hey look, if you don't get enough

sleep tonight, you won't be able to catch the train in the morning because it's really

early."

And I might say instead of "Oh, I know", I go "I appreciate you telling me that".

It means "thank you" because there are implications if I don't get up, I will miss my train, and

there's a value to you telling me that because getting the train is important to me.

While "I know" just means "I have the information, I have the knowledge" but it shows no value

in saying "thank you for doing that for me".

So, you notice a lot of times if you say "Oh, I appreciate you saying that", people will

step back and give you some room because you're saying "thank you", so they know "Oh, you

heard me and you like - not like, but are thankful for me saying it".

You may have to go on and say something different, but they will appreciate that you took the

time to listen instead of saying "I know".

"Understand".

Now, I started off over here talking about understand and I said it was an important

one.

The difference, as I showed you with the cell phone, between "understand" and "know", when

you know something you have the information.

When you understand, here's what's important - you perceive the intended meaning.

Now, I used the difference between being able to put a cell phone together and knowing how

to use one, okay?

When people are speaking to you, sometimes they're trying to say more than the words

they give you and saying "I know" doesn't show that you actually have paid attention

and you got the message they were really trying to get to you.

An example would be when someone says - if you said, "Look, if you keep being late, it's

not great.

You might end up losing your job", you say "I understand" versus "I know".

"I know" means "of course", that's what happens, you keep telling me I'm late, I lose my job.

"I understand" means "Okay, you're giving me an opportunity, you hope I recognize what

I'm doing is incorrect right now and you hope I change my behavior".

Whoa, where did that come from?

Well, that's what understand means.

It means I heard you, I'm taking some information in, I know what you're intending to say to

me and I'm not getting fired yet, but it's a possibility if the behavior doesn't change.

"I know", saying "I know" in this case means I'm aware of the situation, I know your part,

my part, or your position, my position, but it doesn't give us any room of, like, I understand

where you're coming from, because it's saying something like "You're always late and if

you continue you might lose your job", you're saying you're actually kind of concerned about

me losing my job, and saying "I know" kind of doesn't give back that emotional bond.

And this is what I was talking about with communication.

You can say anything you like and you don't even have to take this lesson at all.

You can say "Yeah whatever, I know is good enough", but by varying your speech, you'll

notice that you're giving back not only information "I understand what you're saying and I was

listening to you", alright, but also "I care", or in some cases "Thank you for saying it",

or "I heard what you said but I see it differently, "I recognize some of what you say is true."

Alright, and this is changing it, and it shows the mastery - your mastery of my language,

of the English language, cool?

So, understand is very good one, "I understand", because it means I do know what you're saying

and there's even more, I'm getting more out of it, what you're trying to give me, and

that is your intended meaning.

Perceive is to see.

Now, I said perceive is "to see".

Funny enough, number five: I see.

This is a really good one, because it's similar to the rest and "I see" doesn't seem to be

"I know it all", like, they're not even related.

More on that in a second.

I actually had a friend who told me a few weeks ago he had a situation where he was

going to look at an apartment and he really wanted the landlord to know he was serious

about taking the apartment.

Now, when the landlord was showing him the fuse box or this little electric thing, it

wasn't a big deal, he said "Oh I know" and all this stuff, he never said that.

He said, on purpose, "I see, I see", hm.

Smart guy.

He could have said "I know" and probably would have gone off, you know, gone along with it,

but he knew the landlord might not like it or perceive him as arrogant or talking down,

but his saying "I see" was a way for him to say "I'm listening to you.

I'm really paying attention.

I'm taking this information in, and thank you, I got it".

I see - to show you are paying attention and understanding.

He knew that.

Now, most of you when I said "I know, I know" and you're saying "I'm smart, I get it", but

you want the person to know you're actually listening and paying attention, "I see" is

good.

And even the way we say it, we go "I see, I see", we slow it down.

"I see... yeah...

I see... yeah, I see".

And all of the sudden, magically, "I know" becomes "I see" and the person is like "You

really listened very well" versus "I know, mmhmm, I know" because even when I say it

like this [slower] "I know" means I have a better idea or another idea versus "I see".

All the same tonality, but one is I'm taking in what you're saying, you're important, I