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  • This is the Technical Difficulties, we are playing Citation Needed...

  • Carry on, Tom(!)

  • Joining me today, he reads books y'know, it's Chris Joel.

  • Now available in pill form.

  • Everybody's favourite Gary BrannanGary Brannan.

  • "Burn the cities.

  • "Salt the earth so that no-nothing may ever-y there grow ag..."

  • Can I do that again, because I really screwed that up?

  • No! And the bounciest man on the internet, Matt Gray.

  • Hello, live studio audience!

  • In front of me I've got an article from Wikipedia, and these folks can't see it.

  • Every fact they get right is a point and a ding

  • And there's a special prize for particularly good answers, which is

  • And today we are talking about the $100 hamburger.

  • Whoa!

  • Tastes crap, no beef in it.

  • Just two bread buns.

  • Dollars.

  • This seems like a waste!”

  • The worst thing was: all ones.

  • Well at least there's fibre content there!

  • I was thinking a single $100, which would just look lousy.

  • And now, Gary Brannan's burger opinions.

  • Yes.

  • Too many things on top: s***.

  • McDonald's!

  • Oh, depending on what you get, alright-

  • Wimpy.

  • Oh, by far the superior because they give their prices in pence.

  • And it comes on a plate, like a civilised person.

  • Wimpy comes on a plate?

  • Wimpy's, if you go into a Wimpy, and there's not many left, I'll mark you,

  • they come on a plate, with like a knife and fork.

  • Phrasing!

  • They do, they do.

  • Is this one of things that's been invented by a chef as ostensibly a publicity stunt

  • that needs something like wagyu beef, or something like that?

  • Those do exist, I'm fairly sure there's a $1,000,000 burger

  • with gold leaf or something out there,

  • but this is not that.

  • It is not actually even a hamburger.

  • Is it the genetically grown in a petri-dish kind of one that they did?

  • Oh no, right now that's a lot more expensive than this is.

  • Oh yes, it is, isn't it.

  • It's at least, like, $200 or something like that.

  • If it was only £100 to grow your own burger without a cow

  • I was going to say, it would still be cheaper to slaughter a cow.

  • Is it a person from Hamburg?

  • Oh!

  • Or anyone with the right to vote in a township?

  • - What? - It is a phrase...

  • A burger is someone who has a burgage and therefore holds a burgage plot

  • and has the right to vote in a town.

  • - Really? - Thank you very much.

  • - There you go. - I am learning!

  • - Archivist fact. - Fact.

  • A $100 hamburger is certainly about food, but this is slang

  • for something you might do in general aviation.

  • Is this... is this Elvis?

  • Oh.

  • You have jumped ahead in my script, but you know what,

  • yes, I am going to give you the point.

  • Yes, this is the fool's gold loaf that he-

  • Yes.

  • So what's a $100 hamburger then?

  • Before we get into the fool's gold-

  • Is it where someone rocks up and goes,

  • “I'm going to get a burger, and I'm going to go in a plane to get the burger,”

  • and then eat the burger in the sky, and go, “Ha, ha, ha, sky burgers.”

  • Yes, you know what, I'm going to give you the point there.

  • It is basically an excuse to use your plane and fly,

  • to keep your hours up, “I'm going to go get a hamburger from that place.”

  • Wimpy!

  • I would love to see you try and land a plane at a Wimpy.

  • Bowling alleys.

  • Oh, all slippy.

  • Also, that would be a 10,000 pence hamburger.

  • Yes.

  • In the environs we are talking of, in York,

  • there is a ring road around the bowling alley.

  • Now if you were to do that about one in the morning,

  • I reckon it would be quiet enough to get a Cessna down there.

  • Yes, but the Wimpy's not open.

  • S***.

  • Elvis...

  • I forget, I think he heard about it at a party,

  • as Elvis would, you know, in the Jungle Room.

  • My mum and dad went to Graceland, and I think it can be described as 'disappointing'.

  • I went there a long, long while ago-

  • It looks like a '60s council planning officer's self-designed house.

  • It looks really poor from the outside.

  • That's a really specific gag, but he's right.

  • He is absolutely right.

  • It does.

  • But Elvis heard about this thing, and...

  • Is it a loaf of bread that's hollowed out,

  • and it's full of peanut butter, and jam, and banana, and it's fried?

  • You have missed- it's not banana, it is something even worse for you than...

  • - Jelly? - Banana ice-cream?

  • - Bacon! - Oh, I forgot the bacon.

  • It is an entire loaf.

  • We are not talking like a small-

  • I mean, I will give you a point-

  • It's not, like, a little one, it is a full loaf, hollowed out,

  • filled with a couple of pounds of bacon,

  • and peanut butter, and grape jelly.

  • So, jam, but like-

  • Oh jam.

  • Oh fine.

  • Oh yes that's fine, yes(!)

  • Well jelly is all wobbly, it'll sq...

  • Well it's not a children's treat now, is it(?)

  • Roughly how many calories does the fool's gold loaf…?

  • All of them.

  • Yes.

  • All right, Price is Right rules, closest without going over.

  • There's not a number, there's just a letter!

  • It's got an 'about' in here.

  • And bearing in mind the bread is baked with margarine and oil

  • and things like that in it as well.

  • Ten thousand.

  • Ten thousand?

  • I think it's about a daily allowance.

  • I think it is about 2,500.

  • Fifteen thousand.

  • Gary wins, it's 8,000.

  • Price is Right rules.

  • Only barely!

  • I'm still giving you the point.

  • It is four days' worth of food.

  • - Jesus wept. - Every evening.

  • Because doesn't he get everyone together, goes to his private jet,

  • flies four hours or something, to wherever this place is that makes it.

  • They have some waiting in an aircraft hangar for him,

  • and I assume that can't waddle out of the aircraft hangar at this point in time.

  • They sit on the steps of the plane, scoff it, and then fly home.

  • Where do you get this?

  • I'd like to try some of it.

  • Ah, right.

  • So it was made by a restaurant called the Colorado Mine Company in Denver, Colorado.

  • Which is quite a way away from where they were-

  • Yes, Memphis to Colorado.

  • Who invents this?

  • You can't do that by mistake.

  • It is not like a Bakewell pudding, you know, or anything like that.

  • That is genuinely someone has seen bread, jam, bacon, peanut butter,

  • pfft, go for it.

  • Whatever happens, happens!

  • That is a common American sandwich though.

  • Not the size, quantity though.

  • - Peanut butter and jelly- - Isn't it?

  • Yes, peanut butter and jelly is a normal thing, but the bacon's in there as well.

  • You are pretty much right – "taking his private jet from Graceland,

  • "Presley and his friends purchased 30 of them-"

  • Whoa.

  • You can't open a window on that plane.

  • That's a long four hour flight.

  • They didn't turn the engines on though, they just sat in the back and waited.

  • Yes, they never left the airport, they invited the pilots to join them as well.

  • Ha, I think the pilots would be well advised to lock the doors(!)

  • There is also something called the 'Elvis Sandwich',

  • and you got some of the ingredients of this earlier.

  • This is a...

  • I have had one.

  • Or something that claims to be one, in a burger place vaguely near here.

  • And it was a lot of food.

  • Does it start with a slice of Elvis?

  • 'Cos the one I've had was banana, peanut butter, bacon and-

  • That's it, you have got the ingredients.

  • You are absolutely right.

  • Peanut butter, bacon and banana.

  • Oh, so that's not as bad as it could be, then?

  • Well, no, but erm-

  • If you are ordering one, don't order the chips.

  • You don't need them.

  • Don't order bacon chips either, because you really don't need them(!)

  • In a sandwich that pretty much killed Elvis?

  • They've thought: how could we make this more deadly.

  • Again, I am going to give you a point.

  • It's "the sandwich that killed Elvis".

  • Yeah.

  • Well not specifically one.

  • The many sandwiches that killed Elvis.

  • No, no, there was just one.

  • It was at the back of the theatre that night.

  • Just waiting.

  • Elvis was known for a ludicrous calorie intake.

  • Oh, I thought he was famous for singing?

  • I was going to say!

  • I mean, he was famous for many things...

  • They just found it afterwards. Oh, he can sing(!)

  • He could hold a tune(!)

  • I don't think that the massive calorie intake got him that Vegas residency, Tom.

  • I don't know.

  • Hoovering up the 'all you can eat' buffet, what's left?

  • Oh don't, I...

  • All he can eat, yes!

  • Last time I went to- it's a shaming story but I'm going to share it with the world,

  • because this needs to be out there.

  • Last time I went to an all you can eat buffet, right-

  • Oh boy.

  • I had a few beforehand.

  • I mean, there's a picture of like a big jug of lager appearing on the table.

  • And it's one of these world buffets.

  • It's underground, there's no windows, you can go in there and not be judged, and just

  • eat whatever.

  • You want a Yorkshire pudding with custard and chicken tikka in it?

  • Gonna do it, right.

  • Can happen.

  • I didn't, I didn't, I didn't, I didn't.

  • They were on separate plates, that's fine.

  • They didn't have any custard, they had to use Pepto-Bismol.

  • But there was one point later on.

  • They have an ice cream section,

  • and this was later in the evening, and I wanted some ice cream, right?

  • And I manhandled the lid open.

  • Only afterwards I realised it should be opened by a staff member, but you know, whatever.

  • "Mine.

  • Ice cream.

  • Grrr!"

  • Are you doing the thing where you take a plate,

  • and then you leave the plate and take the tray?

  • Well, that's... yeah!

  • There was a point where I saw this lovely yellow sphere there,

  • and I was like, that's a lovely looking ball of lemon sorbet.

  • It's got a little bit of chocolate on it, that's exactly what I fancy right now.

  • Popped it on my plate, and I was chased by someone

  • because I had picked up a plastic ball pool ball

  • that had chocolate on it as decoration.

  • Stuff that looks like food near an all-you-can-eat buffet is a recipe for disaster.

  • Well, that was my argument!

  • Ha, ha, hey!

  • Thanks Matt, no-one else liked it.

  • I'm the only one that liked that, aren't I?

  • There is a reference: increasing fuel prices mean that a Cessna

  • now costs about $95-130 per Hobbs hour to rent.

  • What is a Hobbs hour?

  • It's got an imaginary tiger in it.

  • Sadly, no E, but it would be good.

  • Oh, screw that then.

  • Flying hours?

  • Or is it the time you are in the air, or something like that?

  • The time you are off the tarmac, as opposed to fannying around getting on the runway?

  • Yes. What might you measure that with?

  • Hobnobs.

  • A big tape measure...?

  • For time?

  • Don't judge me, it is the way it's always worked for me.

  • You should see his watch.

  • It's 37 inches this afternoon.”

  • Chronometer?

  • Yes, what's the chronometer called?

  • Geoff.

  • Swing and a miss.

  • The clue is in the question.

  • The Hobbs Chronometer!

  • Yes.

  • It is a Hobbs meter.

  • It is a-

  • Yes, I have got seven Hobbs.”

  • It is a meter that measures hours in the air,

  • but how do you measure that?

  • How do you rent an aircraft and work out the time it has been flying for?

  • Is it triggered by when the wheels go up?

  • If you are renting the plane, you want your Hobbs Meter

  • to not run for as long as possible,

  • because while it is running, then you're paying.

  • So what system are they using to make sure that people don't cheat it?

  • Airspeed meter that only comes in above the stall speed?

  • Yes, you are absolutely right.

  • And in fact, I am going to give you a point for landing gear as well.

  • A pressure switch attached to landing gear,

  • or an air speed sensing vane under a wing.

  • Either way, you make sure it is up.

  • Does that mean they do a lot of stalling to get some free hours out of it?

  • Oh my God!

  • Stall all the way down, and then fly back up again.

  • This is one of the things, it used to be how long the electrical system was on.

  • How did people get around that?

  • Were they gliding to land?

  • More than that.

  • Just doing long glides?

  • Just not turning the electrics on?

  • How?

  • Yes, absolutely right.

  • Flying with the electrics off.

  • Oh, boy!

  • Get up in the air, get goingbecause once you have started,

  • you don't need the electrics.

  • Turn them off.

  • Oh, because it's an... engine.

  • Yes, spend 20 minutes with no radar or-

  • No cigarette lighter.

  • No radio.

  • Ahh.

  • And no radio...

  • Your phone's got a battery, so it'll keep playing the music, it'll be fine.

  • But you keep getting those notifications from Spotify, and the next time...

  • ...I'm in a mountain!

  • Yes.

  • There is also Tach Time.

  • Tachometer?

  • Yes, have a point.

  • What's that measuring?

  • Distance.

  • Tachometer.

  • Like in a lorry.

  • Not in this case.

  • Not for a plane.

  • Because plane not on motorway!

  • - Very good, Gary! - Unless something has gone very, very wrong.

  • Or unless you want to rock up outside York Megabowl one morning!

  • Good point there.

  • You won't be laughing when I do that in a 737.

  • I will!

  • At which point we smash-cut to five days later and York local news,

  • 'Man Lands 737 at York Megabowl'.

  • They said I couldn't do it!”

  • It is the speed that the engine is rotating.

  • Oh, is it the amount of rotations of the propeller, or whatever?

  • Yes.

  • So if it, if it is designed to run at 2400rpm,

  • you can reduce your tach time by making the aircraft

  • go a bit slower and a bit safer.

  • So if you've been out for, say, 20 minutes on your normal timer,

  • and then your tach time says you have been out for three hours' worth,

  • they know you have been bombing around going

  • I am not entirely certain that's the noise that a little Cessna makes,

  • as opposed to a Spitfire.

  • It is when he's making that noise in it!

  • I tell you what, I have been on a plane with you.

  • He just does that constantly.

  • With the flying helmet and the mask.

  • Yes, you get funny looks at Stansted when he's-

  • As you are walking past the queue to get on, shouting “I'm the driver!”?

  • Driver. Yes.

  • Which, to be fair, when you're going down a motorway

  • outside York Megabowl at one in the morning-

  • At the end of the show-

  • Congratulations Gary, you win this one.

  • Whay!

  • You win a visit-

  • I can't believe you're cringing and you wrote it.

  • You win a visit to a late night electrically-boosted bathing spray,

  • run by a member of boy band Another Level.

  • It is Dane Bowers After Hours Power Showers-

  • F***!

  • You try writing a description for 'shower' that doesn't include the word 'shower'.

  • Bathing spray!

  • With that we say thank you to Chris Joel.

  • Bye, everybody.

  • To Gary Brannan.

  • To Matt Gray.

  • I've been Tom Scott, we'll see you next time.

This is the Technical Difficulties, we are playing Citation Needed...

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100元的漢堡和轉速時間:需要引用6x02。 (The $100 Hamburger and Tach Time: Citation Needed 6x02)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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