Welcome to the Christmas Midnight Gameshow!

Woohoo!

Merry Christmas!

Oh, God! Oh, no!

Merry Christmas, Craig!

It's the Christmas Midnight Gameshow!

How wonderful... You have Jonathan to thank for this.

Hi, Jonathan. Merry Christmas. How are you? Nice to meet you.

Nice to see you. I'll kill you. This is my Christmas Midnight Gameshow.

The bedside clock is ticking.

If you'd like to sit up, I'm going to ask you a series of questions.

How are you feeling? I'll get you back for this.

OK. Well, first, here comes a cracker.

Many elves are helping us tonight.

So, Craig, merry Christmas.

Oh! You've won.

I think the important thing is we put on our hats. What time is it?

It's 1.25 in the morning. This is surreal.

OK, right, we're now going to play a super-fun game

called Ghosts Of Strictly Past.

Oh, God.

This is a ghost from Strictly Past.

I am going to give you some clues. Thank you.

In week three, you were left unimpressed by this ghost's jive.

That could be most of the nation, darling. OK.

Any memories coming flooding back...

No. ..from this ghost?

Not a clue. Not a clue.

I'm going to tell you one of the remarks you made about this

ghost of Strictly Past.

You said this ghost's salsa was

"like Bonnie Langford being chased by a barking Dalmatian."

LAUGHTER

Whoever that is is going to kill me.

So that's how you described this ghost. Who does that remind you of?

There's no way that Anita Dobson would be in my bedroom at this

ungodly hour. Let's find out. She wouldn't put herself through it.

Oh!

EASTENDERS THEME PLAYS

Oh, my God! Darling!

How exciting!

What a lovely Christmassy moment.

LAUGHTER

Merry Christmas.

OK, Anita, that was amazing.

Anita, you can stay for this.

But you mustn't give any clues. No.

We're now going to bring in the next ghost from Strictly Past.

You were left cold by this ghost's salsa.

So let's remind you.

How would you describe this salsa?

Not very good.

I can't see the hip action through all that costuming.

Is there any way you can turn around and give us some hip action?

LAUGHTER

You saw a bit of hip action there.

Got the shimmy... I can tell you, when this ghost was eliminated,

you actually voted to save them over Charles Venn. Oh, no!

It's not Dr Ranj! Is it? I love Dr Ranj!

Yeah!

In goes the doctor!

Right, we're now going to move to your third ghost.

I can tell you that you were very dissatisfied with this

ghost's cha-cha-cha.

Let's have a reminder.

GIGGLING

LAUGHTER

Oh, dear.

On Movie Week you said that this ghost's performance was reminiscent

of a lobster on acid.

LAUGHTER

A lobster on acid.

Are we closer to identifying ghost number three?

Does this person work in radio? Would you like to hazard a guess?

Madame Mills, darling. Madame Mills.

Yeah!

It's Millsy!

Well, thank you very much, our ghosts from Strictly Past.

Thank you.

Now, Christmas would not be Christmas without a little

bit of pantomime.

Please welcome... Well, who's this?

Oh, my God.

LAUGHING: He can't get through the door!

Darling!

LAUGHTER

You look fabulous!

LAUGHTER

Do you know what time it is?!

Darling, we do know what time it is but isn't it thrilling?

What a gorgeous bedroom! Careful of the feathered lamp.

Oh, I'm sorry, is the lampshade all right?

LAUGHTER

Mind the incredibly flammable light fixture.

OK. Biggins is dressed, of course, as Widow Twankey. Twankey. Right.

Now, Widow Twankey is going to read a series of statements

and all you have to do is answer with either "Oh, yes, he is,"

or "Oh, no, he isn't." It's as simple as that.

Ready? We are. Marvellous.

Michael Buble is the biggest-selling Christmas artist of all time.

Oh, no, he isn't.

You're absolutely right.

One out of one.

Paul O'Grady is starring in Goldilocks And The Three Bears panto

at the London Palladium this year.

Oh...no, he isn't.

Oh, yes, he is!

Get Paul on the phone for me. He'll be furious.

I'm very busy with my own panto, darling. You know what it's like.

Here we go. The third question.

Bruno Tonioli is the Strictly Come Dancing head judge.

Oh, no, he isn't.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the legendary Christopher Biggins!

Let's enjoy him trying to get out of the door.

You better give him a glass of champagne, darling.

Oh, thank you, darling.

All these people are downstairs.

So, Santa is actually going to bring in a present.

It's another...

..identification.

What's going to happen here

is I'm going to ask you some questions

and the more questions you answer, the more I will unwrap of this.

Complete the title of the following TV show.

The Blank Buds Of May. The Something.

The Darling. Now, for that,

I'm going to unwrap some of your present.

There you go. Oh, there we go.

Have a good look.

I'm thinking this person is definitely a dancer. Not a penguin?

No, because they have good turnout. Male or female?

I'd say that's a lady.

Let's move on to the next question. In the famous children's story

Peter Pan, what is the surname of Wendy, John and Michael?

I should know this, I've done that show!

I do know this.

Um...

LAUGHTER

Darling.

LAUGHTER

For that I'm going to remove...

Oh, what's happening here?

It could be a woman dressed as a man.

It could be a slender man or a narrow-hipped woman. Interesting.

But you're not prepared to make a guess at this point? No.

Well, no.

OK, next question.

The Labour politician who served as Chancellor of the Exchequer

between 2007 and 2010 was called Alistair...?

Darling.

LAUGHTER

You've got that right.

It's a man.

That is a definite man hand.

You're Australian, aren't you? Born in Australia? Born in Australia.

So this should be easy for you. Ha!

What is the capital of the Northern Territory of Australia?

Uh...Darwin.

LAUGHTER

OK. For that, you're going to get another...

Two male hands!

They're matching, at least. Let's go through...

We've got two male hands and two female... Female feet.

LAUGHTER

Who do you know that has the feet of a lady but the hands of a man?

LAUGHTER

I haven't got a clue. OK.

Which Indian city, located near the Himalayas,

is noted for its exceptional tea?

Darjing.

LAUGHTER

Darjeeling. Darjeeling. That's it.

That is the correct answer.

For that... Oh, look at this.

It's now getting very close. Oh, yes. It's becoming clearer.

You know who it is?

Is it Anton du Beke? Oh, my goodness.

Is it ever! Darling!

APPLAUSE

How are you doing?

I'm a snaky-hipped woman with dainty feet and manly hands.

I'm so sorry, darling. You're beautiful!

You're beautiful. Thank you very much, Anton du Beke!

And thank you very much. Goodnight!

I think that's over. What do you mean, it's over?

Well...merry Christmas. Thanks very much.

Look at this mess! I've just had these laundered as well.

LAUGHTER

That was unbelievable.

I mean, they haven't seriously just left, have they?

Worse than that - Christopher Biggins is here as well!

LAUGHTER

That's much worse. That's a nightmare.

Merry Christmas. Thank you.