No, I'm serious. It really works.

不，我是認真的。它確實有效。

Now, this is cumulative, meaning you have to turn this into a habit to really get all the results I promised and a bit of a warning.

現在，這是累積的，這意味著你必須將其變成一種習慣，才能真正得到我承諾的所有結果和一點警告。

What I'm about to tell you to do is terrifying and most of us spend our entire lives trying to avoid it, but like a pap smear, it's over fast and it really works.

我要告訴你要做的事情是可怕的，我們大多數人一生都在試圖避免它，但就像子宮頸抹片檢查一樣，它很快就會結束，而且確實有效。

I just did it. Did you catch it? If not and you missed it, here it goes again.

我剛剛做到了。你抓住了嗎？如果沒有並且您錯過了，那麼它會再次出現。

That was a live demonstration of the three-second IAP, the intentional awkward pause.

那是三秒 IAP 的現場演示，即故意尷尬的停頓。

Now why on God's green earth would you ever want to do that? I'll tell you.

現在，為什麼在上帝的綠色地球上你會想要這樣做呢？我告訴你。

Because being a really, really good listener is one of the most underrated secrets to success.

因為成為一個非常非常好的傾聽者是成功最被低估的秘訣之一。

It's crucial if you want to be more charismatic, more persuasive and a better negotiator, plus really listening to someone and having them feel truly heard is one of the biggest gifts you could ever give.

如果你想變得更有魅力、更有說服力和更好的談判者，這一點至關重要，而且真正傾聽別人的意見並讓他們感到真正被傾聽是你能給予的最大禮物之一。

As Larry King says, and yes, it's a tweetable: "I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So if I'm going to learn, I must do it by listening."

正如拉里·金所說，是的，這是一條推文：「我每天早上都提醒自己：今天我所說的任何事情都不會教會我任何東西。所以，如果我要學習，我必須通過傾聽來做到。」

The problem is most of us suck at listening and we don't even know it.

問題是我們大多數人都不擅長傾聽，但我們自己卻不知道。

We're always interrupting others with our brilliant ideas and our feedback and most often it's often the way that we suck the most.

我們總是用自己的絕妙想法和回饋來打斷別人，而這往往是我們最糟糕的方式。

Now, I'm probably one of the worst offenders out there, but I am consistently working on this and I have to say the IAP is a lifesaver.

現在，我可能是最嚴重的罪犯之一，但我一直在努力解決這個問題，我必須說 IAP 是我的救星。

Not so long ago, I used it with my stepson Zane and had an unbelievable result.

不久前，我和我的繼子贊恩一起使用了它，並取得了令人難以置信的結果。

Zane was home on Christmas break from college and he invited me to go for cappuccinos.

贊恩大學放假回家，他邀我去喝卡布奇諾。

A little backstory here. In the ten years plus that we've been in each other's lives, he never really asked me for life advice.

這裡有一點背景故事。在我們彼此生活的十多年裡，他從未真正向我尋求人生建議。

So we get to this place, Café Minerva and we're hanging out, and Zane starts to tell me all about his life and what he might want to do with it.

所以我們到達了這個地方，密涅瓦咖啡館，我們正在閒逛，贊恩開始告訴我他的生活以及他可能想做什麼。

He's very involved with music, he's involved in acting and all these creative things.

他非常熱衷於音樂、表演和所有這些創造性的事情。

Basically, he's asking me for the kind of advice that I give for a living, so you can imagine, every single part of me just wanted to jump in and tell him what to do and tell him what I think and “yada, yada, yada,” but I practiced the IAP and I just sat there and I zipped it.

基本上，他正在向我尋求我為謀生而提供的建議，所以你可以想像，我的每一部分都只是想跳進去告訴他該怎麼做，告訴他我的想法和“yada，yada，yada”，但我練習了 IAP，我只是坐在那裡，閉上嘴。

Every time I did this and I just shut up, it was amazing because he would just reveal more and more insights, he'd find new things to talk about, he'd find his own insights that were way better than anything I could have told him and it was really amazing.

每次我這樣做，然後我就閉嘴，這真是太棒了，因為他會透露越來越多的見解，他會找到新的話題可以談論，他會發現自己的見解比我能告訴他的任何東西都要好，這真的很神奇。

I have to be honest, my body was literally uncomfortable being silent, so every time he would come to an end of a sentence, I would sit and see if there was more, and it was absolutely awesome.

我必須說實話，保持沉默我的身體真的很不舒服，所以每次他說完一句話，我都會坐下來看看是否還有更多，這絕對是太棒了。

By the end of three hours, we had the most beautiful conversation and we left that café feeling more connected and more intimate than I think we've ever felt; so, just a little story to show that it really, really works.

三個小時結束後，我們進行了最美妙的談話，我們離開咖啡館時感覺比我想像的我們之間的聯繫更加緊密，更加親密。所以，只是一個小故事來表明它確實非常有效。

We also use this all the time on my team and once again, I am probably the worst offender, but Tana is the master.

我們在我的團隊中也一直使用這個，再一次，我可能不是最好的辯護者，但塔納是大師。

She's actually the one that brought it to us and she's the one that keeps us in line so you can definitely use this in the workplace too.

事實上，她是把它帶給我們的人，也是她讓我們保持一致的人，所以你絕對可以在工作場所使用它。

Now I want to turn this all back to you. Two part challenge this week.

現在我想把這一切還給你。本週挑戰分為兩部分。

Number one: what is your worst listening habit? Do you always interrupt people? Are you constantly thinking about what you're going to say next or do you do something called "fake listening?"

第一：你最糟糕的聆聽習慣是什麼？你總是打斷別人的話嗎？你是否經常思考接下來要說什麼，或者你是否在做一些所謂的「假聽」？

[This] particularly happens on the phone when you're supposedly listening to someone but you're really doing e-mail instead.

這種情況尤其發生在打電話時，當你本該在聽某人說話，但實際上你在寫電子郵件時。

Here's the thing. We all have bad habits but once you identify, you can rectify.

事情是這樣的。我們都有壞習慣，但一旦發現，就可以改正。

Number two: I want you to tell me in the comments below where is the most impactful place that you can start using the IAP today? Is it with your family? Is it with your work environment?

第二：我希望您在下面的評論中告訴我，您今天可以開始使用 IAP 的最有影響力的地方是哪裡？是和你的家人一起嗎？和你的工作環境有關嗎？

Leave a comment below and let me know.

請在下面發表評論並讓我知道。

As always, the best discussions happen after the episode over at MarieForleo.com so go there and leave a comment now.

像往常一樣，最好的討論發生在 MarieForleo.com 的劇集結束後，所以現在就去那裡發表評論。

Did you like this video? I did. If you did, if you did, subscribe and share it with your friends.

你喜歡這個影片嗎？我做到了。如果您這樣做了，如果您這樣做了，請訂閱並與您的朋友分享。

And if you want even more resources to create a business and life that you love, plus some insights from me that I only talk about in e-mail, get those buns over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for e-mail updates.

如果您想要更多資源來創建您喜歡的事業和生活，再加上我只在電子郵件中談論的一些見解，請將這些麵包轉到 MarieForleo.com 並註冊電子郵件更新。

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams because the world needs that special gift that only you have. Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next time on MarieTV.

繼續你的遊戲，繼續追求你的夢想，因為世界需要只有你擁有的特殊天賦。非常感謝您的收看，下次瑪麗電視台再見。