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Could that be the intro?
Q: Amy writes:
"First of all I LOVE you and B-School and it's helped me in ways that I didn't even
imagine- so thank you.” You are welcome Amy. “ I've been working really hard on
my business, but I'm getting push-back from the hubs. He says that he supports my work
but complains when I spend 'too much time on the computer.' I've tried to explain what
I'm working towards, but it's not helping. I need your awesome Marie insight. What can
I do?"
A: Great question Amy as this is GROWING and serious issue that so many business owners
including myself can relate to.
Because when you're super passionate about work and you love what you do, you want to
do it all the time! I feel you girl!
I can tell you from experience that "too much time on the computer" can completely destroy
your relationship. And here's the thing, an F'd up personal life can have a huge,
negative impact on your business.
What you need girl is to have systems in place so your husband gets the attention he needs,
and you don't turn into a burnt-out workaholic.
Here's are three things I recommend:
1. My "Ain't No Half Steppin'" technique - This is inspired by Big Daddy Kane. Here's what this means, when your man needs attention,
give him your FULL attention. That means don't half listen or half check your email. Even
if it's just two minutes, stop what you're doing and give it to him fully. (weird sexy
voice.....yeahh give it to him...)
On the other hand, if you're in the middle of something and can't take a break --- say
so, nicely. Tell him you need X amount of time to finish up what you're working on - then
he gets your full attention.
So you either are FULLY focused on work or fully focused on him. Ain't no half steppin'!
2. The "Das What's Up" Session
You have to keep your man in the loop on your projects plus you gotta stay up to date on
his schedule.
Every day, have a "Das What's Up" session to fill each other what's happening in your
life. So meetings, projects, things that are going on. Anything that happens on during
the week.
For example, let's say you're normally done working by 6pm. But this week, you're launching
your new website on Thursday, that means on Wednesday night, your ass is gonna be working
up late and you know it.
If he knows what to expect, he can support you.
He can make plans with his friends or simply not get upset on Wednesday night because you're
still banging away on your keyboard at midnight.
You'll be surprised what a little advanced notice can do for your relationship.
Strategy 3. My Favorite: Hip-Hop Shabbat
In the Jewish tradition, Shabbat is the Sabbath - it's a day of rest: you're not supposed
to do things like work, drive, or use electricity. If you wanna get biblical about it, there's
39 things you should not be doing including:
Plowing, grinding, kneading, weaving, tying, untying, slaughtering, curing, preserving,
riding, erasing, flaying, smoothing, dying, shearing, winnowing, transferring domains
and more!
But my version is called Hip-Hop Shabbat and here's how it works.
You choose one day a week with your hubs (saySaturday or Sunday) that you both not gonna work or
you're not gonna go diddle around on your cell phone or your computer..
That means no Tweeting, Facebooking, Youtubing, Texting, Marketing, Instagraming, "Just Answering
This One" Emailing.
Computers and cell phones are totally off limits EXCEPT for emergency family calls or
making dinner reservations.
And the whole point of the day is to spend QUALITY time together. It's about having fun
and talking, and really just being connected, and giving each other your full undivided attention.
It doesn't matter what you actually DO during that time - you can watch movies, cook meals,
go on adventures - whatevs!
The key here is to make sure that you guys have Hip-Hop Shabbat at LEAST one day a week.
Hip Hop Shabbat Is Rabbi Approved.
Amy - that's my A to your Q, hope you enjoyed it! As always, make sure you IMPLEMENT and
let me know how it goes.
Now what say YOU? Any effective systems for curbing your workaholism? Did your husband
or your wife or your partner ever complain you spend too much time on the computer? If
so, leave a comment below and let me know.
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Thank you so much for watching and I'll catch you next time!