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  • Hello.

  • So you lined up a very large number of questions today.

  • So a couple of things, First of all, I have a number of YouTube videos and part gas lined up one with Steven Pinker, author of Enlightenment Now one with Warren Farrell, who wrote a very interesting book called The Boy Crisis and also a previous book called White Men Earn More, um, one with an animator named Nina Paley.

  • Yeah, one with a young guy named Charlie Kirk who has organized a large number of campus youth groups more on the conservative end of things and associated with free will.

  • So all those will be coming out in the next a month and 1/2 I would say, and so thank you for your continued support.

  • It makes all of this possible.

  • And, uh, I'm also going on tour.

  • I presume some of you know that if you go to Jordan, be Peterson dot com and you look up events.

  • You can see where it's about 40 cities listed so far.

  • Most of them are in us and a couple in Europe, Iceland, UK, Um, but we're announcing we're going to announce 10 Canadian cities here in the next week as well.

  • So that's all what's going to be happening with me in the next two months.

  • So I'll be on the road with my wife that whole time, sometimes in a plane, you know, just commercial travel, sometimes in a motorhome, depending on where we're going and how so.

  • I'm looking forward to seeing you if you come out to the events.

  • I've been enjoying them quite a bit.

  • It's good to be able to talk to so many people.

  • So 12 Rules for Life has sold about a 1,000,000 copies now.

  • So that's really quite something.

  • And I think we sold foreign rights in 43 countries, so it'll come out and not quite that many languages.

  • But just about over the next year and 1/2 something like that.

  • So all right, so you let's get at it here.

  • Hopefully, I can warm up and get my brain going and and answer some questions.

  • The 1st 1 343 people have voted this one up.

  • Um, could you please discuss free Will and Sam Harris is, and others ideas of its non existence?

  • Well, that's a good, complicated question to kick things off, so I want to tell you a little bit about how to conceptualize free will.

  • I think first, because it's obvious that we don't have infinite freewill are our choice.

  • Our choices are constrained in all sorts of ways.

  • And I think part of the reason that there's a a continual discussion about free will in the philosophical in the philosophical literature is because just conceptualizing the issue properly is extraordinarily difficult.

  • So I like to think about it at least in part, the way that you think about a game.

  • You know, if you're playing a game, obviously the game has rules, So if it's a chess game or a basketball game, then there are things that you can do and things that you can't do.

  • And but and so it's it's ah, it's a closed world in some sense.

  • But the fact that there are things you can't do when you play a game also seemed to open up a universe of possibilities for things that you can do.

  • So chess obviously constrains you to a board and to a certain number of men and to a certain pattern of rules.

  • But the strange thing is is that when you put in those rules is rules sound like limits?

  • They sound always like things you can't do.

  • But when you set up a constrained world like that and you Liotta system of rules, what you do is open up in infinity of a near infinity of possibilities.

  • Same with music.

  • Music has rules, obviously, and if you follow the rules, then you could make an infinite variety of music.

  • And so and so there's a There's a very interesting dynamic that's hard to understand between constraint and possibility.

  • And there's a deep idea that's associated with that that I read in some Jewish commentary on the biblical stories that I I read a long time ago talking about the relationship between God and man.

  • And the idea was that God imagine that, being with the classical attributes of God omniscience, omnipotence and omnipresence all seeing all knowing and all powerful, what is it being like?

  • That lack and obviously the answer is nothing, right, because by definition, those three traits provide for absence of limitation.

  • But then that's exactly what's Locking is limitation, and there's some strange connection between limitation and and I was saying, say, limitation that it's rule governed as I mentioned before and the opening up of possibility.

  • So that isn't necessarily the case that now determined determinism and limitation aren't exactly the same thing, but they're analogous and they need to be discussed together.

  • Okay, so now.

  • So that's the first thing is that our, whatever our free choices, it isn't limited, it's or its limited.

  • It's deeply limited.

  • Now here's another thing.

  • If I take my arm and I go like this, see, I'll do that again.

  • Now you see, there's a movement like that, and then my hands stop just before my my other hand.

  • Now it takes a certain amount of time for the neural messages to go from my brain to my arm and back.

  • And the time it takes my hand to go like this and stop is actually shorter than the time it takes a message to get to my brain and back.

  • So what that means is that when I when I planned this movement, which is called a ballistic movement, it's called a ballistic movement because it's like a bullet.

  • Once you let it go, it's gone.

  • There's no calling back.

  • I've actually organized the neurological and muscular sequences that enable that action before it's implemented.

  • I set all that up, and then it's released and the whole thing cascades.

  • And so once the action has been released, let's say then I don't really have any free will because I can't stop it now.

  • So So you think about that?

  • It looks like there's a temporal Grady int with regards to free will Is that as you look out into the future, may perhaps the farther out you look into the future?

  • Um, the farther down the road, let's say the more free your choices are.

  • But the closer they get to implementation, the more they become deterministic, governed by standard cause of processes.

  • And there's some transition point where they change from being what we would describe.

  • This choice that we haven't got to free choice yet, but at least a choice for some transition point.

  • Between that and ballistic movement, here's another way of thinking about it.

  • Like we know, for example, that people who are expert at playing the piano look ahead of where they're playing and and they're doing the same thing.

  • They're watching the notes, they're seeing where they're going, but and then they're dis inhibiting the automated structures that enable them to play what they practiced so thoroughly.

  • They're dis inhibiting those structures, and then they go automatically.

  • And then what happens if you make a mistake is that consciousness notes the error and then unpacks the motor sequences that have been practiced, and then you re practice them and sequence them again until they become automatic and deterministic.

  • So there's choice in that you're reading ahead, but there's no choice in that.

  • Once you've read ahead and disinhibited the auctions, then they run ballistically, and then you can think about the same thing that's happening when you're driving in a car.

  • You don't look right in front of you when you're driving a car, because whatever is right in front of you if you're going 40 miles an hour, whatever you've already run over, you look 1/4 of a mile down the road, and that gives you the opportunity to see what's coming and to set up a sequence of increasingly automated movements that culminate in whatever it is that you're doing while you're driving.

  • And so there's a gradation from choice to determine is, um a temporal gradation, and and I I don't often see that addressed when people talk about free will.

  • Now.

  • Sam's issue with free will is that you get someone to do something like lift their finger, and you and you scanned their brains using a variety of techniques while they're doing that.

  • What you'll see is that there's an action potential that emmer and you ask them to voluntarily move their fingers.

  • So they're doing it.

  • Let's say, by free choice, there's an action potential that you can read that you can read off the brain that occurs before the person either moves their finger or, let's say, decides to move their finger.

  • And that occurs quite a bit before the feeling of volunteerism or that voluntary act.

  • And so that's being read by Benjamin Lim, who did the experiments as indication that even the feeling of voluntary choices determined.

  • But I don't think that that's a very useful way of addressing the issue, because the issue of when you lift your finger in up again is it requires pre programming to dis inhibit like you know how to do this right.

  • You don't have to learn to do that So you have a little automated circuit that does this sort of thing.

  • All these finger movements and everything you can see Baby's practicing them, and they develop automated circuitry that tends to be posterior left hemisphere in order to run those those automated processes out.

  • And what you're basically doing when you decide to do something that's a routine that you've already practiced or made out of subroutines that you've already practiced is dis inhibiting them.

  • And the degree to which you might regard that as free exactly is unclear, as are the temporal limitations.

  • So I don't think that Libertes experiments demonstrate conclusively that there's no such thing as free will, even though there are action potentials that indicate that there is brain activity signaling even the onset of a voluntary choice voluntary choice early.

  • Now, um, another thing that we might look at in relationship to that is, um, yeah, so we could look at it phenomenal logically, and we could also look at it in relationship to how people treat one another.

  • So phenomena logically, it seems clear that we have free choice, and it isn't obvious to me why we have consciousness if free choice isn't rial because consciousness looks to me like a mechanism that deals with potential before it's transformed into actuality.

  • Let's say and and I think consciousness is also the the faculty, so to speak, or a manifestation of the faculty that enables us to pre program deterministic actions.

  • So again, let's think about someone playing the piano there practicing, you know, after you repeat and you repeat your finger movements.

  • If you're playing the piano, any complex motor skills like that, you have to repeat it.

  • Repeat it, repeat it, repeat it, and you're using consciousness to program it, to sequence the motor movements and to pay attention to them.

  • That all seems voluntary, and it involves the activation of a tremendous amount of your brain, because if you're doing something new, a lot of your brain is activated, and then, as you practice it, the amount of brain that's activated decreases.

  • It shifts from right to left, and then it shifts from frontal too posterior and a smaller and smaller area.

  • So what's happening is that consciousness is creating little machines in the back of your head that do things in an automated manner, and the the the volunteer consciousness looks like consciousness appears and feels.

  • That would be the normal logical end, as if it's doing that voluntarily, and it is associated with a different pattern of brain activity.

  • And so, okay, so there's that.

  • There's this phenomenal logical reality of voluntary choice and effort is, well, cause conscious programming of that sort is also effortful.

  • It doesn't seem to run deterministic Li like a clock does.

  • And then finally, there's also and I don't know what you think about this with regards to evidence.

  • But what constitutes evidence is not always that easy to determine, even in the scientific domain.

  • So and think about how we think about ourselves and other people and how we treat ourselves and other people.

  • You could imagine that you're like a clock running down, and that's like a deterministic model.

  • But people aren't clocks were dissipated structures.

  • O'clock is something that runs downhill, but human beings, you could look up dissipated structure.

  • I think that was an idea that was first formulated by the physicist Schrodinger.

  • We work, we're not.

  • We're not clocks by any stretch of the imagination, and we take energy in and we disperse energy and and we were anti and tropic in a temporary sense that makes us and and so and life is as well.

  • Shorting a wrote about that in a book called What is Life?

  • And We Don't What we seem to Do.

  • This is how it looks to me.

  • We don't contend with the president and were not driven by the past.

  • Instead, what we see in front of us is a landscape of possibility and my wilder moments.

  • I think that's associated with the physical idea of multiple universes.

  • But that's in my wilder moments.

  • It's just a speculation.

  • And so what we see in front of us is an array of potential universes and those of the universes that we could bring about as a consequence of our actions and it and we make choices to the right or the left.

  • There's a lot of mythological speculation about that sort of idea to an unethical sense, because we decide what sort of reality that we want to bring into being, and so we encounter potential like God did at the beginning of time, when he made order out of chaos.

  • Chaos is this chaotic potential.

  • We confront chaotic potential with our consciousness, and we cast that into reality and that now then you think, well, is that really the case?

  • Well, that's hard to say because there are limits to our knowledge about consciousness and about reality.

  • But if you treat yourself like you're a free moral agent with choice and that you could determine the course of your life, then you seem to get along better with yourself and to be less anxious and to be more productive.

  • And if you treat other people like that that they're free agents that are making voluntary choices about how reality is going to come into being, and you reward them when they do it properly and you punish them or otherwise discipline them when they don't when they do it badly, then your relationships with them seem to work.

  • And then if we predicated our society on the presupposition that each individual human being is capable of doing just that, then we seem to have extremely functional societies.

  • And so and this is something that Salmon Harris has been taken to task for many times is if you dispense with the idea of free will, how is it you organize your relationship to yourself, your interactions with your family and your relationships with the broader social community.

  • It's a very complicated issue, so I believe strongly that we have free will, that we're responsible for our choices.

  • Those choices are constrained in many, many ways.

  • I think there's a Grady int of freewill from free out into the future to increasingly constrained as the present manifest itself to determine a stick in the moment when, in the moment of action, we and you might think that we entered the realm of deterministic cause ality at the moment of action something like that.

  • That's how it looks to me so well, so at this rate, we're gonna answer about five questions so that but that was a very, very hard won.

  • So anyways, I hope that's helpful.

  • Maelstrom, who is apparently chaos, given the name, asked me, Am I chaos or M I order Well, that's a good question.

  • I would say a lot of the time I'm chaos, but I do everything I can to put things in order.

  • Um, but I'm going to answer that in a deeper way, I would say, because first of all, everything and everyone is chaos and order at the same time.

  • And I don't mean that in a trait sense.

  • I mean it in a technical sense, which is order.

  • Technically speaking, in my way of viewing the world is order is that domain you inhabit when what you're doing produces the results that you want to have happen.

  • That's a pragmatic perspective.

  • From a philosophical perspective, it's derived, at least in part, or is analogous to the pragmatism of people like, Um, um, CS Purse and William James, the American earlier American pragmatists.

  • And there's a great book on all that.

  • If you're interested, called the Metaphysical Club, Um, so order is where you are when what you're doing is producing the results that you intended and that validates what you're doing.

  • By the way, that's that's a pragmatic form of truth.

  • Your theory is accurate when if you enact it, then the results that you intend emerge.

  • That's the definition of truth.

  • From a pragmatic perspective, It's a very powerful definition, and it's very much associated with the Darwinian notion of truth, so that's worth that's worth looking into Now.

  • Obviously, there are times when you implement a plan and a World conception that goes along with that plan and what you wanted didn't happen.

  • And so then the domain of chaos comes up the domain of the unpredictable and unexpected, and you have to contend with it.

  • And sometimes when you are acting, you do perverse things and things that surprise you.

  • And then things don't work out well for you, or or maybe you get a surprise.

  • And maybe sometimes that might even be positive.

  • And that's because the chaos within us manifested itself.

  • And you've done something that exceeds the bounds of your understanding.

  • And you know that can happen to people so badly that they develop post traumatic stress, post traumatic stress disorder.

  • Sometimes soldiers, especially naive young soldiers, will go on a battlefield and watch themselves do something they can't imagine they're capable of doing.

  • And then they have permanent post traumatic stress disorder.

  • So there's a chaos within that can manifest itself that can disrupt whatever order you are.

  • And you know that minor ways because everybody's always running around doing things that aren't good for them, that they know they shouldn't do and that they can't control.

  • And so there's a chaotic and an orderly aspect everything to the individual, to the family, to the social world, to the natural world.

  • It's chaos and order at every level of analysis simultaneously.

  • Which is why the Taoists think of the world is made out of yin and yang, which is essentially analogous to the idea of order and chaos.

  • And now, But then there's another element to sew your order and your chaos and the place that you live.

  • The environment is order and chaos as well.

  • But you're also the process that mediates between the two.

  • And what that means is you're the force that confronts chaos and casts it into order.

  • We talked about that in the free will discussion.

  • That's the basis for the dragon myth, or at least part of it the hero myth.

  • You're the force that confronts chaos and transforms it into habitable order.

  • And there's an idea that if you do that using truthful speech, it's probably the deepest idea in the Bible.

  • If you confront chaos and the unknown using truthful speech, then the order that you produce is good.

  • So that also means that your chaos and order and the process that inter mediates between them and that's really the basis of the hero myth.

  • So part of that is the hero story and the dragon myth.

  • Go out, confront the dragon, get the gold, bring it back.

  • Share it with the community On the dragon is a representation of that which dwells beyond the confines of the safe inhabitable space, right?

  • It's an image of a predator.

  • That's part of what it is, although it's way more complicated than that.

  • And you're also the force that confronts order when it becomes too tyrannical and restructures it back to chaos and then restructures the chaos back into more beneficial order, which is what you do.

  • For example, if you have an argument with someone that you settle right because the argument takes the orderly relation that you have with that person and then produces a chaotic interlude, which is all the pain that's associated with the argument.

  • And that's a dissolution into what Mircea Liatti called pre Cosma gonna chaos and out of that a new order can emerge.

  • And so the best way to construe yourself is not as chaos or as order, but as the process that mediates between them.

  • And that's the basis for the ethos of the West is that the human being is best represented as the individual, and the individual is that attentive and communicative entity that is continually capable of mediating properly between chaos and order.

  • Now, this is a deep idea.

  • You could read maps of meaning if you would like.

  • The audio version of that is coming out June 12th by the way, and I will make a video detaining the relationship between maps of meaning and 12 rules of life.

  • But you can construe yourself.

  • You should construe yourself as the process that mediates between chaos and order, and you should aim to be the process that does that properly using truthful communication.

  • Because that's how you keep the elements of existence property balanced.

  • And you might say, Yeah, but is that really well, If you read maps of meaning, there's a section on neuro psychology that's also buttressed by a book written by Ian Miguel Kris called the Master and his emissary that lays out the relationship between the right and left hemisphere.

  • Now it's quite strange that we have ah, right and left hemisphere.

  • It's almost a Ziff.

  • We have two consciousnesses dwelling in our in our in our in our being, and they're quite separable.

  • If you cut the corpus callosum that unites the two, then the two hemispheres will act independently.

  • To some degree, you can communicate with each of them somewhat independently.

  • They actually view the world quite differently, and that that hemisphere distinction is not only their human beings, but also in animals a long way down the file.

  • A genetic chain.

  • Now I made the claim part because I was reading a man named L.

  • Cone and Goldberg who was a student of Alexander Luria, the most brilliant neural psychologist of the 20th century.

  • And and Goldberg made the case that the Left Hemisphere is specialized for, um, for what's known and the right hemisphere is specialized for anomaly and V.

  • S.

  • Ramachandran, who's a famous neurologist on MD in California, has also made a very similar claim based on his analysis of brain damaged individuals.

  • But Goldberg's case was, the Left Hemisphere is specialized for what you know how to do, and the right hemisphere is specialized for response to what's unknown, and that maps onto this order Chaos, dimension, right, and the right hemisphere.

  • Now, um, Miguel Kristen, his book, The master in his emissary has pointed out quite clearly that the Left Hemisphere has a tyrannical tendency which ship Ramachandran also viewed in his brain damaged patients, by the way, and that the Left Hemisphere is always trying to impose its logical and restricted order on the world and to make the world fit into that.

  • Now it has to do that.

  • There's reasons for that.

  • Part of the reason is, is that if your theory you've worked on for 10 years makes one prediction air, you shouldn't throw the whole damn thing out.

  • You should doubt the prediction error because you never know when your data is actually data or is just another kind of theory.

  • We can't get into that at the moment.

  • Now, Um, Miguel Chris makes a very strong case, and I think a more elaborated case than I made in maps of meaning.

  • But it's the same argument, fundamentally that the right hemisphere is concerned with reaction to anomaly.

  • And so so what happens in some senses, something unexpected happens.

  • That's the domain of chaos, and that stops you in your tracks.

  • It freezes you, and that's a predator response of prey response Actually, you're frozen.

  • The unknown has manifested itself.

  • You're not in order anymore.

  • You don't know where you are and you don't know what to do.

  • And so and you can't just shut down like a computer.

  • Does you freeze instead?

  • And then what happens is that the ancient mechanisms that have helped our ancestors for tens of millions of years, or perhaps longer than that, react to that which lurks beyond the confines of the unknown.

  • Kick in and you start.

  • First of all, that's Moto Orrick.

  • So you phrase, and then you cautiously start to explore, and then it's imagistic.

  • You start making imagine all representations, metaphoric representations, dramatic representations of what might constitute the unknown.

  • And then those representations air practiced and implemented in the world.

  • And they become more and more fine grained and all traumatized.

  • And as that happens, the low kale that their representative in the brain shifts from right to left.

  • So So the reason I'm telling you all this is because, you know, this is where the metaphysical and the physical unite.

  • And this is the sort of argument that I was trying to make to Sam Harris, and hopefully we'll be able to continue doing that because I'm going to meet him three times in the next few months that the Yin Yang idea, the chaos, order ideas, metaphorical in some sense to say that the world is made up of order and chaos doesn't sound like an empirical statement.

  • But strangely enough, the world to which our brains are adapted is actually the world of chaos and order.

  • You can think about it as unexplored and explored territory, too.

  • That's another That's another, you know, take on it.

  • And so then you think, from a Darwinian perspective, think about it this way.

  • From a Darwinian perspective, there's an there's an an axiomatic presupposition, and that is reality.

  • Is that which select ce Okay, reality is the force that select over evolutionary time.

  • And so the force that selects over evolutionary time has selected for hemispheric specialization.

  • Bilateral hemispheric specialization, which indicates the two different modes of looking at the world, are necessary for survival, right, so that's riel.

  • And so the idea that the world is made out of chaos and order is perhaps the most riel idea.

  • Now here's something else cool that's associated with that, and this is an antidote to nihilism.

  • I also think it's an antidote to do What would you call ideological?

  • Ideological possession.

  • So when you encounter something I've known you orient towards it, and that's an involuntary response.

  • You could even think about it as a deterministic response.

  • It's part of what orients you very rapidly towards predators so that they don't kill you before you have a chance to respond.

  • Okay, so you react because a normal ist thing is meaningful.

  • It's intrinsically meaningful.

  • And the reaction is first terror, with perhaps an overlay of disgust and second curiosity and its terror so that you freeze and remain paralyzed.

  • You turned to stone.

  • When you look at the basilisk or the snake or the Gorgon, you turn to stone, you're paralyzed like a prey animal, and that's so the prey predator can't see you, at least in part.

  • And there's other elements of the orange ing reflects that are associated with predator avoidance.

  • And then, if nothing additionally, terrible happens, you start to thaw out and you start to explore, and you do that with image first and then and then practice the appropriate behaviors and then and then automate those now look, here's the thing that's cool.

  • So that orienting reflex to the unknown is it's an admixture of threat, fear and curiosity, incentive reward.

  • So negative emotion and positive emotion now and it's dose dependent.

  • The larger the anomaly, which means the larger the map it blows out when it manifests itself.

  • Think of the difference between being irritated at your marital partner because they, you know, who knows?

  • Because they were late to pick you up for work, compared to how irritated you would be if you found out they were having an affair.

  • Difference in size of a.

  • Normally the 1st 1 disrupts a tiny little spy, part of your space time orientation, and the 2nd 1 demolishes your past, present and future.

  • And the larger the disruption, the more negative emotion, obviously.

  • And so so There's this weird interplay between negative and positive emotion in the response to anomaly, and but it's deeply meaningful, even if it's even if it paralyzes you.

  • Even if it's terrifying, it's meaningful.

  • And then that transforms, perhaps into intense curiosity, and you start to explore.

  • Now the phenomena of meaning is a manifestation of the complex orienting reflex.

  • And so you're wired so that you're not just order and you're not just chaos.

  • Your order continually confronting chaos so that the order remains updated.

  • And you might say, Well, how do you know how much chaos you should confront in order to keep the order continually updated and the answer is meaning.

  • See something is meaningful.

  • The reason that something is meaningful is because you're getting a deep, instinctual signal that you're encountering a normally at a rate that doesn't exceed your capability.

  • That's also the rate at which you can keep yourself updated optimally, and so meaning isn't tepid, phenomenal, and it and it isn't it isn't some kind of delusion that rationality can and should overcome to say, well, everything's meaningless.

  • It's like, No, it's not.

  • Meaning is the most fundamental instinct for Adaptation.

  • And so that's partly why, in 12 rules for life, I said one of the rules, I think it's Rule seven is do what is meaningful, not what is expedient, because meaning is a really good guide to long term adaptation.

  • And so then and the other thing about meaning, which is what happens when you get the balance between chaos and order, right is that meaning is the antidote to despair.

  • And so, if you and there's all sorts of reasons in life to be desperate and so if you immerse yourself in meaning, you can learn to do that, you can learn to do that.

  • You can make that goal your highest goal.

  • And so then the highest goal would be to be the sort of mythological hero let's say, to embody and incarnate and imitate the mythological hero like the imitation of Christ, which is what you're called to do.

  • If you happen to be Christian, that means that you live in meaning, and that meaning is the antidote to the suffering of life that would otherwise make you brutal and vengeful and unhappy and miserable.

  • And like that, that young guy who just mowed down 12 people in Toronto, these air riel things.

  • You lose your sense of meaning.

  • You end up in hell and inhale.

  • You do all sorts of terrible things, these air, these air dreadful realities.

  • And it isn't as if they're not grounded in the appropriate science.

  • So anyways, that was also a very complicated question.

  • Being Gannon a long term relationship.

  • We're considering kids.

  • What are your thoughts about gay people raising Children.

  • Um, I think the devil's in the details, to tell you the truth, when if I was ever talking to any individuals about that, that's what the question is.

  • Well, how would you raise them?

  • I mean, you have problems, right?

  • If you're both of the same sex, then you're going to have the problem of how to provide the proper model for, you know, let's say you have a boy and a girl.

  • We know this is indisputable, and this is something I've talked to Warren Farrell about kids in intact heterosexual families where the father is present, do way better on multiple indices than kids who are are part of single parent families.

  • Now, that doesn't mean that there are no single parents who do a good job, right?

  • That's not the same bloody claim those air different claims.

  • But on average kid, not only do kids where father's heir present do better, but societies or even even local societies where there are more fathers present do better not only for the kids that their father ring, but the kids in the neighborhood.

  • Whether lots of intact families with fathers do better.

  • And so I believe, quite firmly that the nuclear family is the smallest viable human unit father, mother, child, smallest viable unit.

  • And if you fragmented, blow that, then you end up paying.

  • Now that doesn't mean that there are Wait.

  • There aren't ways that you can operate in the smaller unit or a different unit effectively, but you have to contend with the fact that it's necessary for Peep for kids to have models for both sexes.

  • And that means that means accepting that the sex is air different, even though there's a fair overlap between them accepting that they're different and that both sexes play their role.

  • It looks like what fathers do, And I talked to Warren Farrell a lot about this, and I'm going to release this video this month about what Father's doing.

  • A lot of what they do is rough and tumble play with the kids, which kids really, really, really like, and it's really important.

  • As Jac Pancks up a great effect of neuroscientists laid out in his studies on routes, he discovered the place circuitry and fathers.

  • This is something feral told me, which was extraordinarily interesting is that fathers used the joy of the possibility of play as a scaffold to help Children learn to delay gratification.

  • So imagine a father spends a bunch of time playing with his kids, and they're having a great old time.

  • They're wrestling around and pushing each other's limits to find out where they are and learning the physiological dance that goes along with direct contact.

  • Direct, exciting contact, learning what hurts and what doesn't.

  • What constitutes fair play and what isn't and how everybody can play and still enjoy the game and how excited you could get before it's too much and how much you should wine and how much you shouldn't and when you can object to being hurt.

  • All of that had a deeply embodied level.

  • Kids love that.

  • They'll line up for that, and Pancks up demonstrated very clearly that rats will work to play and that routes play fair and they learn to play fair because of iterated play boats, and that if you don't let juvenile male rats play, then their prefrontal cortex is don't develop and they get attention deficit disorder or the equivalent in rats, and then you can treat that with riddle it and so This is all very vital material.

  • Now, if you're going to If you If you're gay, let's say there's 22 men or two women, then you have the problem of what you're going to do for the Contra sexual target.

  • And you can say, Well, it doesn't matter because there's no differences between men and women and you can Jerry Mander the damn question that way and avoid your re moral responsibility.

  • Or you can face it squarely and say, Look, you've decided to step outside of the cultural norm and to organize a nonstandard relationship, which puts a tremendous rented responsibility on you.

  • And then you have to figure out how you can provide for your Children what it is that they would get in the classic minimal human unit.

  • So and more power to you.

  • I hope you can do a good job of it.

  • You know, I think there's a room in the world for for a diverse range of approaches to complex life problems like like having kids and finding a partner.

  • But that doesn't mean you get to bury your head in the sand about the absolute realities of life and the fact that there are biological differences between men and women.

  • To deny that is is reprehensible, in my estimation on, Besides the empirical data, the scientific data are crystal clear.

  • So and so okay, call you says that everything unconscious is projected into reality.

  • How do you know if you're perceiving reality accurately or just projecting?

  • Great.

  • Yeah, well, that's partly why I'm a pragmatist.

  • While there's a bunch of ways, um, there's a bunch of ways that, you know pain tells you if you make a mistake and you hurt yourself while then you're stupid.

  • Theory was wrong, right?

  • That's what the pain says.

  • You're stupid.

  • Theory was wrong.

  • That's a pragmatic.

  • You see, That's another indication of pragmatic theory of truth.

  • You lay out.

  • Look, when you look at the world, you look at the world with a set of pre suppositions.

  • I outlined that in Chapter 10 in Rules and 12 Rules for Life called Be precise in your speech.

  • It indicates that when you look at the world, you look at it through a value structure.

  • You can't help that because you're always aiming at something in the world and you're always aiming at something you want and you're trying to get it.

  • And so that means that you look at the world through a value structure.

  • Now the question is whether or not that value structure is valid.

  • And that's a very complicated question.

  • Okay, so how do you know if it's valid?

  • Number one?

  • You lay it out and you acted out, you implemented perceptually, and then you acted out.

  • And if you get what you wanted, what the theory predicted, that's another way of thinking about it.

  • But wanted is a better way of thinking about it.

  • Then the fact that that behavioral routine and perceptual structure produced the intended result validates that as a tool for obtaining that result.

  • And that's a form of truth.

  • Now it might be the only form of truth, although I'm not convinced of that completely.

  • But it might be.

  • It's a very complicated question.

  • Now, how do you know if you're stupid?

  • Theory is wrong.

  • Okay?

  • A.

  • It fails and you're hurt.

  • Pain tells you pragmatically your theory was wrong, So that's why you should pay attention to your own pain because you're suffering His indication that you still have things to learn, and maybe the suffering of other people is also that maybe something unexpected or unpredictable happens when you're laying out your plan, and then the in normalised manifests itself the unexpected or chaos.

  • And then you get anxious.

  • Well, anxiety is an indication that your plan, your arrow didn't fly to its mark.

  • So you aimed wrong.

  • And that might mean a small error.

  • You know, maybe a tiny adjustment of your bowl, or it might mean you just don't know what the hell you're doing It all and everything is lost.

  • And so anxiety tells you if your theory is wrong, and then and then other people tell you that.

  • And that's why you want to surround yourself with other people because you distribute your cognitive resort.

  • You you distribute your problems to the cognitive resources of the social group.

  • That's what we do when we Price thinks right.

  • Everyone votes on the price of something because it's so difficult because the price of something else to be established in relationship to the price of everything else and that's always in flux.

  • And so its computational e impossible problem, and so we outsource it to the market, which is the free cognitive decision of millions of people, and that's how we determine price.

  • And so one of the things you do to make sure that you're not any stupider than you have to be blind, ignorant, biased and all of that is you surround yourself with other people and you try to treat them well enough so that they can tolerate you.

  • And then every time that you do something stupid because one of your theories is it is vague or incomplete, a wrong or biased or you're willfully blunt.

  • Then they slap you on the side of the head.

  • They ignore you because you're boring.

  • They don't laugh at your jokes because they're stupid.

  • They they They are irritated at your actions because you're not taking your own long term interests or the interests of other people into account.

  • And so you have pain, you have anxiety.

  • You have the reward of success that that's that's a positive indicator that your theories okay, and then you have the reactions of everyone else.

  • And if you're clued in, you pay attention to all of those things and you try to update your your order, which is your perceptions.

  • You try to update your order constantly as a consequence of being humble in the face of your errors, which is why humility is the precondition for learning and why It's one of the highest moral virtues so and perceiving reality accurately.

  • You don't really perceive reality, and you don't really perceive accurately.

  • You perceive small portions of reality extraordinarily limited in space and time, and accurately means well enough so that when you do what you're doing, it works.

  • That's why I'm a pragmatist.

  • I mean, not only I mean, you know.

  • I mean, there's lots of other philosophical streams that have influenced my thought.

  • Existentialism, phenomena, log phenomenology to mention to others.

  • But thing is, you can't perceive reality accurately because you don't know everything so and you're full of biases and you're ignorant as hell.

  • And so the best you can do is perceived small bits of reality well enough so that you could more or less get what you need in a relatively short period of time without screwing yourself up too badly in the medium to long term.

  • That's pretty much what you've got, and that doesn't mean truth is impossible.

  • Just means that it's very, very complicated to decide what truth, ISS, because the question is what is truth for someone whose knowledge is limited, right?

  • Because obviously, because your knowledge is limited and you don't know everything saying some fundamental way you're ignorant or wrong about everything.

  • But that doesn't help because you still have to act in the world.

  • So there are bounded truth there bounded truths.

  • And so all right, if past experiences shape us up.

  • No, I missed one.

  • You cite a tired, brain foggy thinking as the reason to stop answering questions or giving a talk.

  • How do you combat this?

  • What?

  • Working or writing daily?

  • Um, well, I eat a big breakfast relatively soon on waking.

  • That really helps if any of you out there are anxious.

  • And many of you, no doubt are there'll be a large number of you who are anxious and don't eat breakfast, and they'll be a whole bunch of you out there who think, Well, I don't eat breakfast.

  • It isn't necessary.

  • Like that's wrong.

  • It's necessary.

  • You fasted all night.

  • If you load yourself cognitively or physiologically in the morning, your brain, stressed will produce will encourage your body to produce insulin.

  • It will take all the blood sugar out of your blood, and then you're done for the day and then you'll be anxious and another.

  • A lot of the rest you two you'll find.

  • If you're anxious, try this.

  • It's really, really interesting experiment.

  • The next time you're anxious, they'll eat something.

  • Eat like eat some protein and fat would be best.

  • You could have cheese and crackers.

  • I'm not a big fan of carbohydrates, but whatever.

  • Eat whatever you're willing to eat, but make it solid.

  • Don't eat a peanut butter or don't eat like a chocolate bar something sweet.

  • Eat something substantial piece of meat, a piece of cheese, some peanut butter, something like that.

  • And then wait 10 minutes and see if you're less anxious.

  • And try that for like, two weeks.

  • Every time you get anxious, eat something because then you can find out if you're anxious.

  • Yes, if your anxiety is linked to low blood sugar and it's very likely that it is, especially if you also get irritable and foggy and you're thinking and so and the best way to treat that as far as I've been able to tell, and there's a decent literature on this is to make sure that you eat a big breakfast and you might say, Well, I'm not hungry in the morning.

  • It's like, Who the hell cares if you're hungry?

  • I didn't say, Enjoy your breakfast.

  • I said, Eat it.

  • That's not the same thing.

  • You know, there's lots of things that you need to do that you don't enjoy to begin with.

  • You'll get hungry in six months and then you'll start to enjoy it, so that's a massive difference.

  • I take small naps quite frequently.

  • If I'm wiped out, you know I'll go have a nap for 10 minutes or 15 minutes, and then that helps quite a lot.

  • I try to wake up fairly regular on a fairly regular schedule.

  • That's another thing I would really recommend for people whose lives are in disarray and who are anxious.

  • Try to fix your wait time sleep going when you sleep.

  • That's not so important.

  • So you can still, you know, stay up late and have fun and all that.

  • But getting up in the morning is really helpful.

  • So, um you know, and you you also have to figure out how much you can work or write.

  • I can't write for more than about Max.

  • My sustainable maximum for writing is three hours a day, and if I push it past that, then especially if I'm editing, I make mistakes when I'm editing, so that's counterproductive and I can't sustain it across time.

  • And so I don't really think you can do more than about three hours of extremely intense intellectual work a day, although if you have a nap, you can stretch that.

  • But I think at least I end up paying for it across time.

  • So, Knapp, make sure you eat and make sure you eat protein and fat and not carbohydrates because carbohydrates are basically poisonous.

  • That's about that's about and make sure that you get enough sleep.

  • So that's that's how I calm about it and try to make myself hyper efficient, which is also a really interesting thing to try.

  • You know, I was talking to my agents at C A, a creative artists agency in L.

  • A.

  • And I just hired a publicist to to help me manage media and, um, or intelligent manner, and we're trying to think about our overarching philosophy.

  • You know, when I first proposed to the sea a guy's that our overarching philosophy would be something like because you need an overarching philosophy under which you nest all your specific actions.

  • It was something like to educate as many people as possible in the shortest period of time.

  • It seems like a really good goal.

  • Like why the hell not do that?

  • But then we broadened out a little bit this week, which was to try to do as much good possible as efficiently as possible.

  • And that efficiency thing is really fun if you guys who are listening a route for a challenge, like one of the things that you can.

  • I think this heightens the meaning in your life is to try to do difficult things, right?

  • Aim high.

  • No name so damn high.

  • You can't manage it and make sure you break down your aims into reasonably attainable sub goals.

  • But you want to aim high, and then you want to see how hyper efficient you can get.

  • That's a great thing to do in your early twenties is to see okay, like discipline yourself.

  • You think?

  • Okay.

  • How much work can I do if I lowered myself right to the maximum?

  • How far?

  • How far can I work?

  • How hard can I work until I exhaust myself and then you back off?

  • Obviously, because the optimal amount of working productive engagement, let's say, is that which is sustainable across decades.

  • So you have to.

  • You have to learn that.

  • But you don't learn that without stretching yourself to your limits to begin with.

  • And you know, if your life isn't everything it could be.

  • And if you're suffering from an excess of meaninglessness, well, it means you're not oriented.

  • In the world of chaos and order properly, it's like you could learn to discipline yourself.

  • Look, figure out what figure out what it is that you need to do and that you want to do and then see how efficient you can get because one of the things that's quite fun is to figure out if you have a task.

  • I always tell my graduate students this if they're doing an experiment, too, if you have a task that you have to do, it's really interesting to spend a few minutes, sometimes hours, depending on how long the task is.

  • See if you can figure out how to do it.

  • From from 5 to 10 times faster.

  • It means you'll have to rearrange the way you think about it.

  • But you can often do it.

  • And that's how extremely productive people get so hyper efficient.

  • You know, sometimes it means you have to delegate.

  • It means sometimes it means you have to bring other people aboard.

  • That's delegation as well, I suppose.

  • But there's a lot of preconceptions that you hold about who you are and who the world is that you could dispense with.

  • That would make you a way more efficient actor in the world.

  • And so all right, so there.

  • That's that.

  • If past experiences shape us from the moment of birth, how can an action be ever said to be the result of free will rather than the accumulation of past influences?

  • Well, it is in large part the accumulation of past influences, because that's knowledge.

  • But I address that I would say already pretty thoroughly in my discussion of free will, your your free will isn't absolute.

  • I mean, what are you a genie?

  • Even a genie is constrained inside a lamp, you know.

  • So there's there's no action without constraint.

  • There's no action without limitation, so it's just not conceptualized well, and all of your choices are constrained, not least by the fact that you have to keep yourself live.

  • So even just because there are limitations that emerge, say, as a consequence of the accumulation of past influences doesn't mean that you aren't that you don't still have a massive domain of freedom.

  • So what is your opinion of attachment based therapy?

  • And do you think that therapy is at risk of encouraging people to wallow in self pity?

  • I'm not going to talk about attachment based therapy because I don't know enough about it to provide an intelligent critique.

  • But I can answer the second part of the question.

  • Do I think that therapy risks encouraging people to wallow in self pity?

  • Not if it's done by a competent therapist.

  • If you're a therapist, is encouraging you to wallow in self pity.

  • Then it's time to get the hell out of there.

  • You've got a therapist who thinks that they're supposed to offer you a safe space.

  • That's not helpful.

  • Look, what do you do as a therapist?

  • You act as a strategic counselor, so let's imagine someone comes to see me.

  • So there's two b

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問答 2018年04月04日 (Q & A 2018 04 April)

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