you realized had absolutely no dialogue whatsoever - only after you bought your ticket.

一部你買了票之後會發現到處都沒有對白的電影

HONEST VOICE (CONT'D) Les Miserabablebles

悲慘世界

HONEST VOICE (CONT'D) Told in award-winning songs of beauty andexuberance.

用美妙與豐富的經典名曲呈現

Except those sung by Russell Crowe.

羅素克洛的部份除外

RUSSELL CROWE Unless you learned the meaning of the law.

直到你明白法律的意義

I have made a false report. We may have met.

我做了份假報告 也許我們見過

HONEST VOICE Characters often singing about things that could be very easily done by just talking normally--

劇中的角色總用唱的來表達隻字片語就能結束的對白

HELENA BONHAM CARTER Go and draw some water from the well.

去從井裡給我打水

EPONINE Hey there monsieur, what's new with you?

嗨，先生，您過得如何？

AMANDA SEYFRIED Are you alright? Why did you go away?

你還好嗎？為什麼要離開呢？

HONEST VOICE Seriously they sing everything, so to hit that point even harder we thought we'd sing the rest of the trailer.

說實話，他們無所不唱，為了向這部電影致敬，接下來的預告我們也都用唱的

SINGING VOICE Meet the spirit of human redemption: Jean Valjean. A paroled thief now on the run under

他是贖回人命之魂，尚萬強。是位假釋的小偷

an assumed identity... for reasons never made clear in the entire movie.

用假譯的身份趴趴走... 在整部電影怎麼樣也還不了清白

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Who must face off against Inspector Javert...

他必須不斷對上賈維

An officer with such terrible priorities, he'll put the entire city of Paris on lock

一位就算封鎖整個巴黎都要

down to a stop a man who already served his time.

抓到一個已經刑滿的困犯警官

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Follow along in their epic game of cat and mouse - that spans 20 years

他們史詩般的躲貓了二十個年頭

Which is almost as long as the movie feels.

時間長的就像看這部電影的感覺一樣

Meet Fantine... a random factory worker who brings an incriminating letter to work for no reason... and is fired--

她是芳婷 一位某工廠員工因為不明原因帶了不該帶的信而被炒了

Sinking into desperation so deep - she becomes most pathetic woman in France

她深感絕望頓時成了全法國最可憐的女人

in just two verses of song!

這只用了兩段歌

Watch her with no hair, watch her with no teeth - yet she becomes the most desirable prostitute in town

看她失去頭髮 看她失去牙齒 就成了全城最上等的妓女

which she'll blame on Hugh Jackman. Even though he had nothing to do with it.

還能責罵休傑克曼 雖然這些都不是他幹的

It's Anne Hathaway like you've never seen her...

整部片搞得好像沒有安海瑟威

(Spoken) Literally, she drops dead after only like twenty minutes of screen time.

基本上，她只出現二十分鐘就領便當了

Leaving Valjean to now care for Cosette, her precocious child who is scared of the dark--

留下尚萬強照顧珂賽特

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) But totally cool letting some stranger drag her around the city.

她那明明很怕黑…卻讓一個陌生人拉她在夜裡趴趴走的私生女

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Now, at the dawn of revolution...

來到革命前夕

One young man, will give up everything for a woman he's met through a fence.

一位年輕人為了透過籬芭見過一面的女人放棄一切

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Prompting a heart-breaking romance we know nothing about

這個沒人懂得愛情只能用暗示的

because the entire subplot is glossed over...

因為必須做成插曲帶過…

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) To make room for countless scenes of Borat!

才能給芭樂特數不清的鏡頭

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Not since "The Dark Knight Rises" has a movie been so manipulative with its use of time jumps.

自從「黎明昇起」以來 沒一部電影能用這麼多時光跳躍

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) And not since Chicago, has a movie tried so hard to convince you that movie musicals are a good idea.

自從「芝加哥」以來 從來沒有一部電影這麼努力的想要說服你音樂劇電影是個很棒的主意

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Featuring award-winning songs, but they all sound the same,

經典名曲，聽起來都一樣

so without the track listing you won't be able to tell one song from another.

因為沒看歌單的話根本分不出來在唱哪一首

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) Experience over 2 1/2 hours of CGI Crane Shots

準備體驗兩個小時的CGI升降鏡頭

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) and extreme close-ups.

與超極端的特寫

SINGING VOICE (CONT'D) And the death of Russell Crowe's acting ability.

還有羅素克洛拿手的死亡戲碼 (超爛演技？）

HONEST VOICE Starring...

演員陣容

HUGH JACKMAN I have a very annoying vibrato.

花俏金鋼娘：我有超惱人的抖音

ANNE HATHAWAY I really, really, really wanted to win an Oscar!

蘇珊大嬸：我真的真的真的很想贏座奧斯卡！

RUSSELL CROWE I should have never agreed to sing an entire movie!

發福馬西穆斯：我當初真不該答應為電影獻唱

SACHA BARON COHEN They really should have shown less of me and more of Eponine!

法國波特拉：他們不該給我鏡頭而該給愛波寧多當！

HELENA BONHAM CARTER Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!

提姆波頓：陰間大法師！陰間大法師！

SINGING VOICE If your girlfriend doesn't appreciate you after sitting through this movie... Then you

如果你陪女友度過這部電影她卻不感謝你

should really rethink your relationship.

那你該重新思考感情的事了

HONEST VOICE Les Miserables.

悲慘世界