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  • Hello lovely people,

  • For those of you who are new here: hi, I’m Jessica. I started to lose my hearing at 15

  • and began wearing hearing aids at 18. I think my hearing loss is now classed as moderate-to-severe:

  • basically, without my hearing aids I live in a very pleasant underwater bubble with

  • cotton wool in my ears and with my hearing aids in I won’t get hit by a truck but I

  • also can’t tell what youre saying. Mainly I rely on lipreading people

  • I talk about going through the process of losing my hearing a lot and I’m often asked

  • for advice on how to cope with it, I’m going to talk you through 6 key tips in this video

  • but first:

  • - How do you know if you have hearing loss or not?

  • Well, if someone has sent you this video… I think theyre trying to tell you something.

  • Maybe it’s time to get your hearing checked?

  • Other hints:

  • Do you turn the volume on the television up to a degree that everyone else in the room

  • yells at you for?

  • Do you stare blankly at your phone when someone

  • calls because supposedly it’s on but youre not entirely sure if a voice is coming out

  • of it yet?

  • Do you find it impossible to follow conversations

  • when youre in public?

  • Do you make people repeat things over and

  • over again until they get really snarky with you?

  • Do people in your life complain that you annoyingly don’t listen to them?

  • Do you saywhat

  • over and over and over and over and over again?

  • Well, if so, you probably have hearing loss!

  • ...or an Auditory Processing Disorder or similar medical problem.

  • - or you really are just that self important that you believe youve got better things

  • to do than listen to unimportant people and their meaningless conversations.

  • In which case:

  • Take a breath and reassess.

  • I like to keep things fun and bubbly on my channel but it’s important we don’t shy

  • away from negative feelings as well and golly, you just clicked on a video about losing your

  • hearing so youre probably experiencing some of these too! Losing your hearing can

  • be isolating, exhausting, scary, annoying and sometimes just make you feel really, really

  • angry! This is especially true when your hearing is going in your teens or adulthood. Most

  • support systems for deafness are there to help children- who have likely been born deaf,

  • don’t have a memory of being able to hear and have young, plasticy brains that are able

  • to learn sign language quite quickly- or elderly people, for whom hearing loss is culturally

  • expected and accepted.

  • If youre in your late teens, as I was, it’s difficult to get help when adults find

  • it easy to read you as just being lazy and not paying attention. I can’t imagine how

  • hard it must be when YOURE the adult in charge of phoning the electricity company

  • or chatting with other parents at the PTA or starting out in your professional life

  • without the listening skills you’d assumed you’d have.

  • [internal panic]

  • - But don’t panic! Were going to go through this together.

  • Tip number 6:

  • Connect with people who are

  • in a similar situation to you.

  • I am quite sure there will be many

  • in the comments beneath this video who are also losing or have lost their hearing. Have

  • a look at other people’s stories, reply to their comments, start a conversation.

  • Build your network of friends online.

  • - P.S. I’m setting up a Discord board where we can all chat, there will be a ‘so I’m

  • losing my hearing…’ thread.

  • Isolation is a really significant problem since hearing loss detaches people from interactions

  • with others. Maybe you live in a family of mumblers and you can’t even understand your

  • own parents anymore.

  • The world is built around human interaction and community and whilst it might feel like

  • deafness can take all of that awaythe internet is a pretty leveling playing field

  • when it comes to communication. If you prefer meeting people in person then your doctor

  • or audiologist may be able to recommend a support group in your area.

  • Don’t freak out if theyre all two generations older than you. Age is just a number. You

  • can have friends with different but complimenting interests.

  • - Just don’t try to explain the ecosystem of the Kardashians. Clara tried that with

  • me our entire plane ride to Edinburgh and I’ve honestly never been so confused.

  • Also: talking to a therapist about your feelings of loss is a good thing. Change is scary.

  • Tip number 5:

  • Youre going to feel very vulnerable.

  • Plan ahead- know the exits and the buses. If you

  • find yourself in a situation where you feel unsafe you take that Uber, screw the cost.

  • Youll find you rely on your eyesight a lot, especially for safety, and the minute

  • you can’t see youll likely freak out. I can’t stand being in a club or a pub and

  • a light shining into my eyes. For the millisecond of blindness after the light hits I am completely

  • and utterly vulnerable and it shakes my core.

  • Try not to get into situations where youll need to rely on your hearing. That sounds

  • obvious but it can be as simple as just not walking alone in the dark

  • - which maybe you shouldn’t do anyway…? I don’t know what your area is like but

  • stay safe, friends!

  • Many deaf people often feel extremely vulnerable in situations where sounds are relied on to

  • provide essential information: This can vary from roadside traffic, public announcements

  • in airports or train stations to the genuinely dangerous stuff like fire alarms.

  • Plan. ahead.

  • Make sure you have the best app on your phone to track the trains- something that updates

  • to the minute. You likely won’t be able to hear any changes that come on over the

  • tannoy. Freaking tannoy.

  • - Clara says I need to inform non-British people that a ‘tannoyis a loudspeaker.

  • If youre getting coffee in the train station, make sure youre sitting in view of the

  • board. Likewise in the airport.

  • Seems obvious but...

  • It doesn’t matter the degree of your hearing loss: if you cannot hear the announcement

  • clearly then you might as well not be able to hear it at all so you might as well start

  • acting like a deaf person and rely on just the visuals.

  • So face others when theyre speaking, their expressions and body language will put what

  • theyre saying in context. Make sure you can see a person’s face and lips when they

  • talk.

  • And in terms of things being kind of scary now you can’t hear so well: yes, for a lot

  • of deaf people, night-time can be terrifying: you can’t hear footsteps or fire alarms

  • or windows opening or

  • - okay, now I’m scaring myself.

  • If youre watching this as a parent who thinks their child is losing their hearing:

  • difficulty sleeping can actually be a sign as children will struggle to sleep when they

  • can’t hear their parents downstairs- they may worry that everyone has gone out and left

  • them alone in the house.

  • Bear in mind, nightlights are perfectly acceptable, no matter your age.

  • Tip number 4:

  • Pace yourself. Deafness can also be exhausting.

  • People with hearing loss are unable to look

  • down at their phones or newspaper and hear what somebody is saying like hearing people

  • take for granted. They have to concentrate on lip patterns to hold conversations, they

  • have to focus on a person’s facial expressions and grasp onto the little sound they can hear

  • and then try to make sense of it all.

  • This, plus living in constant fear of missing a crucial sound like a fire alarm, can be

  • mentally and physically draining.

  • Think about it this way: someone with all of their senses can rely, when crossing the

  • road, on their ears to be listening for background danger that their eyes cannot see as they

  • look left and right: the sound of a lorry approaching around the corner, the group of

  • kids standing behind you who are joking and jostling each other, the ambulance with a

  • blaring siren that’s a few streets away

  • Now imagine trying to gather all of that information

  • using just sight…?

  • Tiring. Deep breaths. Pace yourself.

  • Tied into that: it’s important to know your limits. If youre sick or tired, how well

  • you understand others may be worse than usual.

  • Tip number 3:

  • Consider technology:

  • look for a device that works for you.

  • A professional audiologist, an ear, nose, and throat (ENT) doctor, or a hearing aid

  • specialist can help you find products. Your local council may even fund things like flashing

  • doorbells and fire alarms if you can get to the right department (their contact details

  • can usually be found through the aforementioned doctors but a good google search might help).

  • Hearing aids might feel like a big step but you can start small with just the inner ear

  • ones if your hearing loss isn’t particularly great.

  • To break the technology down:

  • Hearing aids make sound louder for you and can also be programmed to cut out certain

  • wavelengths. Depending on your hearin loss. They come in many shapes, colors, and sizes.

  • Some fit behind your ear, others directly into the ear canal.

  • FM systems are wireless assistive hearing devices that enhance the use of hearing aids

  • but can also be used by people who don’t wear hearing aids. The come in two parts:

  • a little microphone that can be clipped onto the clothes of a teacher or lecturer or

  • whomever youre particularly trying to listen to at that point (possibly even just your

  • date in a restaurant). The second part is on the person with hearing loss, either working

  • with a hearing aid or something similar to headphones. The sound beams wirelessly through

  • to you from the microphone.

  • It's like a one-to-one system.

  • They enable sound to be picked up closer to the speaker rather than a microphone that

  • is on the deaf person so the sound can be much clearer and without background noise.

  • That’s why it works really well in a lecture or school style situation.

  • And finally (but in no way exhaustive) a list of other things that can be helpful:

  • Alerting devices: you can get a little pager that connects to a doorbell, phone and alarm-

  • and even a baby monitor!- with a blinking light and a vibration whenever one of those

  • things makes a noise.

  • There are also personal amplifiers, infrared headsets and telephones that will display

  • a conversation on a screen.

  • - That seems like a lot of information, doesn’t it?

  • Technology to help hearing loss does take a lot of getting used to but they honestly

  • do help. Youre scared once you start to use them, it feels like they might get in

  • the way of a free flowing conversation but actually once you get over that hurdle they

  • honestly do improve your interactions with other people.

  • Plusstudies show that people who don’t get help with their hearing loss are more

  • likely to suffer with depression and anxiety.

  • Apparently there is also a link between untreated hearing loss and dementia but-

  • - I am offering you this information as anoh isn’t that interestingnot a ‘wow,

  • something new to freak out aboutso take some deep breaths.

  • If you think there is even the slightest chance that hearing aids could boost your confidence

  • then go for it.

  • Side note: I’m often askedbut what if my parents aren’t willing to help me get

  • medical treatment?’

  • To which I say… “honey. That’s a form of child abuse.”

  • Now, I’m sure they are reasonable people who don’t want to be accused of such so

  • maybe show them this video and then have a chat.

  • Hi.

  • Tip number 2:

  • Learn to lipread. I know, sounds very difficult. I did make a video about this, youll find

  • it in my deafness playlist which will be in a card above.

  • A lot of people suggest throwing yourself in at the deep end when it comes to learning

  • lipreading- watch YouTube videos on mute without captions, only socialise with people who don’t

  • vocalise- but, honestly, youre already losing your hearingyour daily life is

  • nowbeing thrown in at the deep end’. If you find youve started to rely on captions

  • to understand videos-

  • - like this one.

  • [Mouth pattern: Hello]

  • Then turn them off, get close to the screen and try to pay attention to my lips. Leave

  • the sound on if that’s helping you and only turn it off once youve gained confidence

  • in lipreading. If there is a video or a film that you love watching then watch it over

  • and over again, paying close attention to the lip patterning and since youre already

  • familiar with the dialogue youre more like to pick things up.

  • It’s also really helpful to repeat information back. Lots of things sound alike- especially

  • when your hearing isn’t great- but they actually feel very different to say. Knowing

  • how your own mouth moves will help you recognise similar movements in others.

  • Repeating what someone has said also helps make sure youve actually got it right!

  • The other person will correct you if youre mis repeating.

  • You should also encourage people to write things down!

  • Tip number 1:

  • Be clear with the people around you about

  • how they can best help your transition to

  • not being able to fully hear what is going

  • on around you.

  • Just saying “I’m hard of hearingis a good start but it doesn’t tell the person

  • how they can then make themselves understood so do follow it up.

  • This is the hardest advice to enact but: be bold. If you can’t understand what someone

  • is saying then explain that.

  • If you are, like me, one of those people who has got into the habit of nodding and smiling

  • until someone has left and only then realising that you have absolutely no idea what the

  • person has said thenyoure going to have to be pushy with the people around you.

  • I’ve been with my wife for 5 years and I’m still training her to jump in whenever she

  • thinks I’m just pretending to understand.

  • Because I have no idea I’m doing it until much later!

  • Key tips:

  • Tell your friends and family to say your name or get your attention before talking to you.

  • Theyre going to get frustrated if theyve said a whole paragraph whilst walking up to

  • you and only once theyre two inches away do you look up.

  • - Can’t lie, that’s kind of their own fault but a lot of disability is about managing

  • other people’s emotions. They don’t teach you that in the Disability 101 textbooks but

  • it’s true.

  • Also there are no disability textbooks.

  • Much like babies, bodies don’t come with a manual.

  • If a person makes sure they have your attention before they start to talk then they won’t

  • have to repeat themselves and you can all be much happier!

  • Be clear with what you need people to do. They should look at you when theyre speaking,

  • take their hands away from their mouths, swallow their food and not look at their phone. If

  • they don’t do those things and you thus don’t understand them and they get annoyed

  • about it then just rise above, my darling, rise above.

  • You tried. Theyre the ones making things difficult.

  • Turn off background noise when you want to have a conversation- no TV or blaring radio.

  • Ask for restaurant tables in quiet spots and expand your daytime socialising. Cafes can

  • be just as great as pubs- with the added bonus that some serve alcohol and you can actually

  • understand the conversation that is going on!

  • This is a given if youre underage but if youre an adult then consider including

  • others in your audiology appointments. Claudia always says she didn’t realise how deaf

  • I actually am until she sat in a hearing test with me for the first time and, sitting in

  • the soundbooth, was baffled at my not noticing the loud noises blaring at us. Audiologists

  • are some of the best kinds of doctors that I’ve come across. Theyre really caring

  • and can help your family understand what is going on.

  • So what’s the long and short of it?

  • Well, first up: don’t panic. It’s all going to be okay. Consider that there may

  • even be plus sides:

  • I once fended off a mugger with: “sorry, I’m deaf, what did you say?”

  • To which he gave me the specialoh you poor loveface and let me go.

  • Also it’s quite nice while youre crafting to just be in your own little world. It’s

  • very peaceful sometimes.

  • But remember to take your hearing aids out when it’s windy. Top tip.

  • Final point:

  • The majority of advice says that you shouldn’t saywhat?’ when you can’t hear but

  • instead should saypardon?’ orexcuse me?’

  • Now look, I am all for social etiquette, traditions and good manners butreally… ‘pardon

  • andexcuse meskirt dangerously close to ‘I’m sorryand honestly, really,

  • I’m not.

  • And I shouldn’t have to be. I don’t want to apologise for my poor hearing

  • because it’s not my fault, it’s not intentional, I wasn’t too distracted by my phone to pay

  • attention to you, I’m

  • just deaf.

  • Look, I promise it’s going to be okay, alright? All change is terrifying to start with and

  • yes, I get that this isn’t like moving schools or joining a new office. But perhaps think

  • of it more like becoming a parent for the first time: your life will never go back to

  • the way that it was. It’s the end of an era. But it’s the start of one too. Youre

  • still you: with the same personality, the same likes, the same loves. Maybe your future

  • looks different now but that doesn’t mean it’s worse or that it’s going to be horrible-

  • even if you are more tired now! Youre joining a community of people who have been through

  • what youre going through right now and there are many support systems in place. Even

  • if you don’t have help from your parents or guardians or your school isn’t willing

  • to give you the support you needwell that’s only temporary. Other people will come in

  • and out of your life, things will ebb and flow but the one constant is you. And the

  • important thing is that youre happy with yourself and feeling like you can manage life.

  • Work on your own emotions first, help someone else put on their oxygen mask second.

  • Youll be alright, my darling, you really, really will.

  • I’ll see you in my next video.

  • [kiss]

Hello lovely people,

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所以你失去了你的聽力... [CC]。 (So You’re Losing Your Hearing… [CC])

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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