Well, hello!

Like most people, I've become a little bit obsessed with Marie Kondo and her way of tidying,

known as the KonMari method,

thanks to her Netflix show.

Why can’t everything in my life just be tidy squares?

Probably because that would be very boring.

Insert gay joke here?

Claudia and I both like the idea of things being really tidy and we both enjoy tidying up,

but...we have a lot of stuff!

Every time one of our friends - [pointedly clearing throat] Clara -

points this out, I like to say it’s just because both of our parents downsized

from family home at the same time,

and thus we had to take everything we ever wished to inherit.

Truly, every picture of Claudia as a child is currently in our loft,

along with some furniture that I get slightly panicked about sleeping underneath.

I also have a lot of clothes that I try to manage by separating them out into seasons

and keeping the unseasonal ones in the loft,

but even that is becoming unmanageable.

I like to pretend that doing Instagram ‘Outfit of the Day’ photos

is a valid excuse for not being able to keep all of my clothes in one room,

but that's a lie!

Also, follow me on Instagram.

[Ding]

However...! This year, we are going to be moving house!

And Marie Kondo says that the best way to declutter is to make it into a big event.

So this is the perfect opportunity.

The KonMari method is essentially two parts:

discarding... and sorting.

First, you collect everything you own in specific categories and heap it into one enormous pile on the floor.

Then, you stare at the horrifically large mountain of stuff and have a nervous breakdown

over the ills of consumerism and how you’re contributing to the end of civilisation!

So you pick up each thing, ask whether it actually brings you joy

- or just sends you into a massive guilt trip -

and if it doesn't, you thank it kindly and send it on its way.

The second part is taking the things you have left and neatly arranging them

in an incredibly Instagram-able way

It's probably useful, granted, but it also just looks really pretty.

The categories are: clothes, books, papers, and komono,

which means miscellaneous things.

And then within that, there are sub-categories.

So, in this video, we're going to start with clothes!

And try not to drown in them.

Subscribe to the channel and hit the notification bell to make sure you don't miss

the next three videos, in which we blindly mess things up and get overly-sentimental about random buttons

and ugly trinkets we'd forgotten we own

because we own a lot of stuff

(particularly clothes).

[Music]

Oh, more than that.

[Music continues]

Even more than that.

[Music continues]

J: That's a lot of... it's a lot of clothes.

Oy!

OK, let's begin.

J: So we moved into this house three and a half years ago.

C: Yeah, I think nearly four years? J: Yeah, nearly four years.

J: We actually moved in exactly one year to the day of our very first date.

C: Mmhm, very stereotypically gay of us.

J: Yeah...

C: It did take us eight months to find this house, and…it's been a very happy home.

C: We're moving out. We've just--we've just sold it.

J: We have C: It’s served us well, but…

C: We need a little bit more space now… An office for you.

J: Yes, a bit more of an accessible house, as well.

C: Maybe a bedroom for a potential baby.

[Claudia giggling] J: Or many bedrooms for many potential babies.

J: I’ve got plans. C: Bigger garden for the dogs.

J: Yeah, they’ll definitely appreciate that. C: Yeah.

C: We need to actually organise the place, and make it feel tidy...

and just give it a new lease of life just before we go.

J: I mean, we're not awful…

C: No! J: It's not like there's rubbish around the place or anything.

C: Yeah… J: We like the idea of everything having a place to live;

J: it just doesn't then go back to that place. C: Yeah, I think we try hard,

C: and also, I think the problem is, like...

J: Just the problem me, though. C: Yeah.

C: We have one table in our house and everything goes on that table.

C: This morning, I was just like, “Jessica, come have a look at this table.”

C: “Why are there socks at this end, two pairs of shoes at this end,

dry clothes on this end, like three laptops on the table…

bobble clip thing, two picture hanging things…?”

J: I work from home. That is the only area I have to work in.

C: Mmhm. J: I have chronic fatigue and I can't be wasting my time

J: doing a hundred little small trips to put everything back in its place

when I could use that time on something far more useful,

like making your tea in the morning.

J: You can’t argue with that. C: All right, anyway. The point of this process is that

C: we wanna find harmony with both our home

and with one another.

[Claudia giggles]

J: Do you remember this dress?

C: Yeah...

C: You wore it on our first date J: I did!

C: It was a little bit longer then. It’s shrunken. J: It may have shrunk!

C: Or, you just got taller.

J: Yes, I've got taller since I was twenty-five.

J: For sure.

C: If it doesn't fit your body, it should go.

J: That is fair. Like this dress.

J: Every time I wear this dress, I think it’s kind of indecent.

J: But we're gonna start with clothes, and possibly when it comes to clothes,

I can admit: it's a little imbalanced.

J: I have a wardrobe in here

(in the bedroom); I have a hanging rail in the bedroom next door,

J: and I have many bags! C: You’ve got two drawers--

C: You’ve got two drawers; I've only got the one drawer. J: What?

C: Oh, no, you’ve got one drawer.

C: We share a bra and knickers drawer. J: That's very harsh; we share an underwear drawer!

C: Yeah, yeah, yeah. J: And then I have a drawer, which by the way is the smaller of the drawers.

C: I think I will have surprisingly quite a lot of clothes.

J: You--the clothes in that wardrobe over there are apparently Claudia's,

but she wears maybe...two shirts,

and I see the same two shirts come out of it every now and then,

but then when the door is open, I'm like, "What are those two hundred pieces of clothes in there?!"

J: (That you never wear!) C: Well, this is why--anyway!

C: It's not a competition!

J: If it's a competition, I've lost. C: Yeah.

J: I'm having a hard enough time!

C: This is all your stuff!

C: I mean, over the last few years, my fashion has kind of become more basic, I would say.

I think I used to have lots of dresses and skirts, even.

C: Yeah, I think my fashion’s just become more “gay.”

C: So, I… And I just feel more comfortable in wearing things that

maybe I always wanted to wear, like I really like wearing a fleece these days, and my walking boots.

Whereas maybe five years ago, I would’ve been like, “That's not cool,”

but now I'm just like I don't really care if it’s cool.

I'm gonna make it cool.

C: So, I’m only gonna keep clothes that, actually, when I hold them and put them on, I’m like, “Yeah, I really like that!”

And I'm not gonna think about what all the other voices in my head used to say where it was like,

“Oh, but that doesn't look trendy” or “That doesn't look cool” or “That makes you look too butch” or “That makes you look too femme.”

C: I'm just gonna literally hold the thing and decide if it's what I like.

J: First things I'm going to begin with are these vintage ball gowns,

which I love very much and I have had this one since I was eighteen.

Which is quite a while.

And it does bring me joy, but I never wear it, so…

Thank you. You have done me good service.

But you must go...

J: What I would like to achieve by tidying all of this stuff

is probably just being able to see all of my clothes in one go,

so I can then nicely accessorise and coordinate things.

Whereas right now, because there’s just so much, everything has to be in...

various different places.

J: Also, I keep things that don't make me happy just because I feel guilt about throwing them away

or donating them.

Not helpful.

J: Oh, but then it all started to get a--get a bit much.

J: Like a LOT much.

C: This is so fun. Like, we're doing really well.

J: Yeah, you've got rid of a lot of your pile. C: Yeah!

J: This is very impressive, Claudia.

C: I'm onto the things just on the hangers, almost.

C: How you doing?

J: Not so well. C: No?

C: You look like you’ve got through quite a lot; you’ve thrown a lot of stuff out.

J: Yeah. C: Aww, that's a sad voice.

J: Don't you just feel like...when you're sorting stuff,

you just kind of have to confront the fact you don't look good in things?

C: Mm. J: I don’t know, maybe you don't feel that, but...

J: Like this dress, for instance.

J: This! Look at the back of that dress; it's so pretty! C: Yeah.

J: I really, really like it.

J: But the problem is...these things!

J: But! My stupid scoliosis.

And then I've gotta always be wearing a bra.

But then this doesn't look good with a bra!

C: It's all right, look. Just...just choose the things that make your heart sing.

C: If they make you feel like you don't like your body, it's not making your heart sing, is it? It's making your heart sad.

J: I know.

C: So even though the dress is nice, if it doesn't make you feel good...

you know the answer.

J: I know.

J: I know it's also—it’s, like, really silly to not like things about my body.

J: I preach just lovin’ yourself, and… I do!

I just also struggle with it sometimes.

J: So... C: Well, look, you've got a lot of other things that you can wear.

[Fading piano music]

[Exasperated sigh]

J: I am finding this process very hard.

Like, I just can't help it.

I see every item of clothing as having...so much potential

and possibilities

and I hold everything and I'm like, “But I could use it for this!”

"I could pair it with this!"

"Maybe I just don't yet have the thing that will go with it perfectly!"

J: Help me. C: Are you struggling?

J: Yeah.

J: Clothes are my thing!

C: I’m doing actually surprisingly well!

C: Look at my nice little, neat pile. J: It's not really that surprising that you're doing well.

J: We could have guessed

that was gonna happen.

[Frustrated moan]

J: So we tried some of the things that Marie advises in her book to clear the room

and make yourself feel better.

J: We rang our gong; our ceremonial bell;

and lit a candle.

J: You may not have a gong or a ceremonial bell.

Just bang two cups together. You'll be fine.

J: Also, I put on more mascara. That really helped.

C: Yeah, I love that jacket.

C: See, look, I don't wear many dresses, but I do like this one.

C: It does look very professional. J: You might need it.

J: You don't know why. C: Yeah, exactly. It's good for interviews.

[Gentle music]

J: Pause for Claudia to have a nose bleed.

[Claudia sighing]

C: It's the stress of, er...of change!

J: It's a lot of change, but it's all gonna be OK, baby.

[planting kisses]

C: [sighing] It's actually quite exhausting going through all of your clothes,

'cause you have like so many different emotions and memories, like every time you hold something it's like [exclamation]

J: Yes! C: Like, you have a flash of, like, memories of every time you've worn it

and when you bought it

and how long you've had it.

C: And then what you think about it.

Isn't it? All in a matter of seconds, and then it’s like your brain’s just like [exhausted noise], so my nose was just like...

"I can't handle it. Bleurgh!"

C: My brain decided to come out my nose.

J: You are unkind to me

but I thank you for your service.