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miles short of your mascots.
Oh, yes, you go.
Yeah, I've got this is actually this has been the family for years.
This is a way since I was very my no drama I bought Shaun.
I guess you could believe in the same team when the airport returning home from a driver got my and bank something again was just to keep the team morale.
And in Tora Bora on main labels for the ideal.
But they never get cleaned and time from top alone.
So and what?
We're going to be disrespectful, but the crazy fuck u tollbooth theories in the Swiss make chocolate.
Right?
So we don't associate with blood, diamonds and Nazi gold.
Fuck you Sweat, Solin.
Some backup mascots.
Oh, yeah, no.
Sure had a plane.
She wants us to you, mate.
Stole that off the door.
More deal.
Metal.
Toblerone can go into a long haul.
Got on.
Jimmy is you fired me?
So make a big cash.
Done a bit of a deal.
Got sponsor for the show.
Show is now sponsored by a banister company.
It's actually my half brother Fabio's company.
It's called Fabio's banisters.
Give me 60 quid on Dhe All we have to do is a little little bit of advertiser.
Then we split up that you even notice.
Wait to see the film.
Shame with these doubt, but said the graphic sex made it very awkward.
Everyone in the cinema asked them to stop Theo on the show.
You're gonna be better on the numbers or the letters.
I think it's gonna be letters.
I think I'm a man of words because I spend half my time university studying English.
What would you do the other half?
That was captain of the school's kissing team.
The school's kissing team did a lot of practice.
Only your dad.
I would have you got a mascot?
Yes, I do have a mascot.
I've got paint, sir.
Is your master?
Yes, my mask.
What you make of that?
No.
Hi.
I'm not knocking on this show.
I put on my mask locked inside.
Just brought in comfort food to get me for it.
I put in the cake Another part of my mascot way.
See how far you get through the pizza and the cake during the show.
Finished way.
It is down now.
No eat.
It comes way working door to door salesman Johnny.
Yeah, I did.
Obey Did three nights.
Three nights?
What?
What did you sell?
When lots of people bought the council offices, I went door to door and often to service the older gas so we would come in and put on the £25 would service every device.
And that would cover you for the year.
So your initial call out charge would be covered under that 25.
Come.
I didn't know what you were gonna ask me about that inferno wearing this ridiculous back in.
Sure.
Naked women on it.
I'm not like flying helicoptered in.
Bob Thief was a woman by the book Colonel with the legs of Kimber.
Wait.
Just going door to door.
Let's move on.
That was a bit quiet.
I'll stand by my point.
Okay.
Time to go across once again to dictionary corner.
Greg, what have you got for us?
When I was an educator, Asai was for many years.
I was fortunate enough.
There was a guest speaker at the school.
I taught out and it was the ex champion boxer Chris you back.
Yeah, he very kindly came in for nothing to inspire the Children on.
He did a three and 1/2 hour lecture to them.
It was unusual, and it consisted of him telling some loose anecdotes.
Um, but he interspersed with very aggressive poems himself, which is shattered into the Children's faces.
And, you know, it was it was really inspiring.
Anyway, I realized afterwards, I didn't think I could do impressions.
I've never been to do impressions that I can do an incredible impression of Chris you bank because he inspired me that day.
I've realized that classic works of literature sound better through Eubanks voice.
Ah, what a wonderful treat for us all, I thought I present some to you before I do.
I'll tell you that my agent on every member of production I've spoken to on this show has made it very clear.
They think this is a terrible idea, Theo, that's coming After jumping on people, I have to take a walk after I take a while to get Chris's voice.
So bear with me after and what a waste of time culture, please.
And what west of times that was the edge off with, um, the age of foolishness.
Thank you.
Think something is.
It's actually a very good Nelson Mandela.
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
More lovely and more temperate.
Rough wins.
Just companion.
Hey, wouldn't you say pugilist a few times that?
See, that's that.
That's mean.
That's his key.
Word wasn't tough.
I tried.
What's up here?
Get us talking to Mei.
What the hell You're talking about a 1,000,000,000 in danger mouth.
I know what you're thinking.
It's our worst impressions.
I know what you're thinking.
Hey, Fire Six shots or five.
Thanks.
I kind of lost track.
Okay.
Yeah, I've got a few.
So I've got my lucky thesaurus that I justice being through thick and thin with that one.
My lucky calculator.
So those are there?
Those two lucky objects?
Last thing.
This fellow Tony, who is Tony Tony's?
Um uh, guy I met in in the Emirates on.
We've really connected on.
We've lost touch.
Yeah, it's basically Tony's.
Tony watches this even if it's on YouTube.
Just get in touch.
I thought we had way.
Did have something.
I didn't think it.
I know we did today.
Yes, I do have a mascot.
Actually, I am the last part of the show.
I was a little bit nervous.
I feel like I lost focus on it wasn't entirely together.
And so yeah, I've been Really I've been really trying my hardest on practicing with a really supportive motivating beatboxing friend, obviously.
So you don't really makes you feel better and more confident about myself is always testing me on on on things, Pancks.
A 1,000,000 Russ.
It like one name.
Just give us gold and all its or looking for a nine letter on this.
Possibly a show.
Busy, Busy.
Great.
So s so like Let's try another one now A ll God!
And again I want to go for 99 under Susie and beat boxer Beat box It'll brilliant Nothing.
No.
What's it or not?
Great with numbers now, John, remember?
Wasn't very good with numbers old and let me just see.
And 15 50 50 50 50 50 three a nine letter word Lee Mack Stead ings Amazing.
Nothing.
Nothing Beautiful of three.
Person, six.
Be honest.
Really Are you are surprises.
Everyone else killed inside.
I'm going calmly.
First time I had sex.
What does it mean when you put your Penis inside of steadying is a sort of something to do with maybe forms or something, like an area of land.
Well, I'm literally I've lost the ability to speak sense anymore.
I'm going to retire now.
Way get close up on John's face.
I've never seen anyone look shocked and disappointed.
Most embarrassing thing about getting and never in the history of the show as dictionary corner ever gonna bring down the whole show.
You must be a bit annoyed, John.
Our first numbers round.
OK, Jon and Sara, your turn to pick the numbers.
Sure.
Miles Sean and miles of one said again, Fingers on lips.
Heads pay attention.
It's the numbers round.
Ready?
Are you ready?
No.
He'd brought up.
Was whispering to me.
About what?
Why was he whispering to you about lovers, Don't you, Miles, I'm on the way.
Like the Swiss during the Second World War, I could see the good shine and the bad.
Yeah, okay.
Also, our first Oh, no!
Ah poll recently voted Peter Seraphim, which Britain's funniest comedian on that pole was his nan Mrs Sarafina, which your final word games?
Well, to be honest, Jimmy, I don't think that's any of your business.
Crossed the line there any words you're hoping will come up tonight abdicates.
I'm with Peter.
Theo.
What's the most common question you get asked benefits that I have enough this twice this year already, which is quite a common question.
And that is one of them was quite an elderly lady.
And she said, What does the D stand for in G spot?
It sounds like a guy calling this a gray from bag.
Who is the lucky guy who found it You've written a book about?
There's a woman called Beverly Whipple who actually discovered it and didn't want it named after her.
It was gonna be called Whipple's tickle, and she didn't She didn't want her name used on it.
And there's no part of the vagina that's named after a person that isn't named after a man with so much tonight, I've got another good vagina fact.
Yeah, Theo.
Gee, sport isn't actually a real thing, but the literacy is like 10 centimetres long.
Wow.
Okay, it isn't true.
It was originally called the Cleta.
Chris.
I'm going crazy.
I was actually in love sex with you.
Okay?
Only charge of the numbers.
It's Rachel Riley.
Rachel's clitoris is 10 cents way.
Have one of those.
Richard.
Have you got a mask?
Oh, yeah.
What do you got?
The film.
White chicks.
Have you seen this film like chips?
I've not seen this film.
Oh, it's a heck of a film.
I rewatched it recently.
What's remind me what happens in one.
Okay, so is a wonderful thing to FBI people.
Men, They're men.
They go undercover posing as to socialites.
White socialites.
I don't know that you need to say white in front of social.
Actually, they go undercover as white women s o light, as I say, in order to prevent them being kidnapped on what it does is it really allows a marvelous opportunity to toe to see things from a woman's point of view.
And if you see one tips, I think you'll really understand what it is to be a woman just down here.
So, little Dickie, he would mind covering for me for two seconds.
You've got the small talk guy right here.
They found her away.
Some of your witty and watch.
It starts with two undercover FBI people posing as Mexicans, and they do some wonderfully sensitive material.
Richard Fine.
Three, 62 5 75 and 50 on the target, 961 target was 961 Joe, Did you get it?
1000?
Did you get it?
Yesterday?
I got the Oh, so awesome.
No way.
Number that way.
Yes.
Yes, that's your second.
That's exactly how Marlon Wayans has unveiled in the fashion show.
Thanks, Richard.
I was really looking forward to seeing that film.
Time to go over to dictionary corner, Nick.
What have you got for us?
I've got poem.
I'm testing my feelings.
I can share stalking and stalking the back page.
Here is a poem that is simply called busy Bee Busy bee.
Busy bee.
Why are you so busy?
Busy bee always in a tizzy.
Busy bee.
Busy bee.
Thank you for the honey.
Busy bee.
Busy bee.
I owe you more than money.
Busy bee.
I hope it never ends.
Busy bee.
Busy bee.
You are my only friend.
That was about bay I made friends with on a family holiday in Uruguay.
I called him a race.
It was a legend.
He just landed on your arm.
I've got another poem.
This one's called Butterfly.
Your chances you wouldn't do that to you and Shakespeare with you.
You have a beard.
Come on, May wake up with a way.
You're a fine figure of a man.
How do you stay in remarkable condition?
I didn't really, Jimmy.
I mean, I've got a type, so that certainly helps what I call Charlie going, Charlie.
That's for you, Theo.
That 12% of people in this country have got tapeworms, which actually makes the more popular than dogs.
How do you get a tapeworm?
Do you eat a worm on offstage?
You don't you get it off pork?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Always pork.
Yeah.
Always pull.
Get it off a off pork or not off anything else.
Another victory for the corn burger.
Wrote a song about it.
If you aren't again A tapeworm eats and pork.
You want to get a take my mates and pulled chicken.
Pave fish or egg.
Forget you won't get it.
Take Google If you get to pick, they can't see mother pigs.
How many times I have to explain?
You can only get it if you want to get in, take aways.
But they eat pork and then they get it and get it to the pork which came first.
The pig That was the big bang theory.
Tapeworms fluent, the pigs.
Some people say this version of countdown is less intelligent.
News.
Just in you get Take worms from May I just say that.
Say one thing.
Google could go fuck it.
So, Theo, take 10 and square.
It allowed in Countdown, actually.
Can you, Um, Cuba.
Sorry.
Okay, on.
Then.
I'd like you to square the fine for me, please.
I like it.
And then I'd like you to time top 25 by the to the other to wait.
And you got your knife mind blown.
That was amazing.
That was proper mass.
And you haven't used anything.
I was twice never been done before.
It's groundbreaking.
That's right.
One of those things could actually be done.
No, it's just being done.
Spine Richards.
Amazing maths.
No one got any points?
Their scores in the moment of Richard Rob have no point.
Like they even on their team.
But he just did something with it.
If you want to square and cube things, get a job in a fucking jelly factory way weakest.
Maybe the weakest Come back.
That's ever been jelly factory mate.
That's the worst thing that's ever been said.
You got a mascot this evening.
I have brought along.
This is genuinely true.
Actually brought along that my nan's ashes.
Jen, you literally now was always a big family countdown, and she always wanted to Come on.
So this is like things generally my nan's ashes.
It's no way.
Have a look.
Don't joke about it.
You're a real hole.
Had just pushed him.
Okay, 422.
Did you do?
Right?
You take that 122 way down.
Don't structure of any of the other numbers.
Stress.
She died.
That was it, Was it?
I got nothing.
Still few put.
Minus eight there.
66 way.
Go on.
He doesn't work here anymore, but he keeps on turning up anyway.
It's Joe Wilkinson.
Yeah, Yeah.
Uh huh.
You're right, Joe.
Where have you been?
Up to make, um Well, um Well, cause you, uh, farm because you're a prick.
I'm gonna come back to being an inventor.
So started adventure again myself.
You quit.
This is actually one of my inventions.
It's actually a a baby proposed for adults only.
Downside is you need a giant is prepared to carry around.
This was mine!
Exclaimed door toffee.
Clint loves toffees.
My best idea.
We'll bring out.
Bring it on.
I should stress what?
They're over.
You know a better way when the UK strongest man is struggle in today?
Sure.
What was it?
What was your six?
Rejoined?
Rejoin.
Get Thank you.
Means a lot Island.
We've got bit by that I've joined up a pretty good theory about James.
Ivan?
Susie, Could they have done any better?
Yeah, they could have done, actually way Lerner, which is so we'll make strips.
Susie, can you confirm that?
Yes.
Make her small bits for horses.
You know, I could love in the works.
You know, those people especially designed to clean horses willies.
So there's people specially designed their people.
Their job is to go and clean horses.
Will is surely they do the rest of the whole swallow their way.
Especially heavily, Heavily unionized.
All right, all right.
Don't touch the US.
Did you pick up this information from a friend of mine was a comedian, actually, cos you I'm gonna find out.
Why would you care if your horse at a dirty way?
Some people the horses are gone national today.
I mean, well, that was fast, but what a dirty Penis.
So the end of that, both teams have six points.
You must get recognized by fans all the time.
You ever wish you could still fly under the radar?
My favorite time of the year is when I just get to go skiing and you have got do your hair and makeup.
You have gotta have all that awkwardness.
Just put a helmet on.
But it's new dawn.
No makeup.
It's great.
And actually, I brought my skiing stuff with actually, if I just met you because I'm pretty sure I would recognize you in skiing gear.
So I've got a beard on Viking horns and this is kind of my look so much more comfortable on.
It's warm.
And, um, you just don't have to have that awkward social.
Is that you?
Is it no house house?
Jimmy, That's a challenging wank.
Oh, sorry.
John.
Do you have a mascot?
I am actually awaiting the results of I've stood in the election for the countdown party, which I launched last year to get countdown fans voting.
Really?
So I've stood in the constituency of Wet Wang.
And I've got every hope of getting in with some of my key policies to enhance count.
Now, what are these policies?
Well, obviously a lot of countdown viewers are retired So bring the age of retirement down to 30.
That way I think a lot more people would watch Get a little okay, Don't need it.
Five letters that's round in it Then you could put in a nice grid.
But 26 is bullshit, innit?
A little rhyme at the end away we got a kicking current occur liquor We got a sexy s and a spicy Yes, Change the national anthem just to that Yeah, You could have words to do it if you want to But your words worked out.
What?
It is changing Not according to whatever left the situation is isa situation.
This is the new national anthem Everyone, this is Britain.
This is Britain.
This is Britain.
This is Britain.
This is Britain.
This is written This sis Britain is written is written is written.
I see Britain, Britain in Europe Now I love to sing that song to my mom just before we deport way lucky mascot This week.
You're lucky.
Max got I've got a lucky I've got a lucky pen.
I got it from a very unusual bookies.
I find it very useful.
I put a bet on.
I always use Claude.
This is called the morning stuff.
They wanted to be stuff to go head to head.
It's the numbers round just for you guys on John.
Your turn to pick.
Come on, Sean.
You wanna play along for fun?
Sort of personal battle between You could play the claw.
Why would I do that?
I've already got him.
Just check what's in it for me.
My pen.
There's enough lid off this, but it's actually a stuffed grizzly.
Practical really serves its purpose.
You playing along with miles?
Not for now.
All right, Money.
I won't spit on you when we're having sex tonight.
Good luck trying it.
Without spirit, I work in the fields.
You very kindly offered way.
No way, of course.
Is Susie Dent.
Theo.
14 books about the derivations of words.
And you can find them all in your local library.
Just ask for the sleepy Go.
Bye.
Bye section.
Okay.
Susie, what have you been looking into recently for the glory holes stop necessary.
I know what you'd be looking into recently.
Ah, Palms about so very important to me about how come it's okay to name you, Willie, but it's not okay to name the fellas, Willie.
Next year, the Royals.
So my time's called hanging about in a train station.
Toilet name in people's penises.
Commuter on your way to work.
I'm gonna call yours Captain Birdseye because it looks like he's wearing a polo neck and winking at me.
Welcome.
I just named your Penis.
Oh, hello.
Train driver just met him for a piss.
I'm gonna co yours, Mrs Fans.
Be geography because you're small and wrinkly and have a birthmark down the side of your shelf.
You're welcome.
I just named your huh?
Okay.
Hello?
Please, Police Officer Helen, please offer.
So he's just been said to the toilets because they've had reports of someone.
You can't arrest me for naming.
Strangest.
You cannot didn't know that.
Oh, great.
Now I'm Elektronik.
Lee turned again.
If you wanna get a tapeworm, eat pork.
You want to get a take my mates and pope chicken pave fish or egg?
Forget you won't get it.