I mean, there’s some people with holidaysiac.

That would mean somebody who is addicted

to holidays, birthdays, death dates,

and other anniversaries.

Impersonitis.

Somebody who is addicted to different voice

impersonations and they cannot find their home voice

and some people may be stuck with it.

I mean, there’s some people with disabilities

who want to try to be normal and to fit in.

But being a person with Asperger’s, they

may have some very clever ideas

that may become unheard of in the normal world.

Well, in terms of growing up I preferred

to mostly play on my own.

When I was at kindergarten I preferred

to be rocking on the rocking horse.

And the teachers were trying to encourage me to interact

with the other children.

The horse then was taken away.

But I preferred, even without the horse to,

sort of, play or do things on my own.

Autism affects my life in several ways.

I have to, sort of, know on a repetitious level,

like, how to do things accordingly.

Change is very difficult in a routine.

It’s hard to interact with people,

even though I’d like to get to know people better.

I try to listen very hard and try to become interested

and gradually be friends.

Sometimes it does work, but sometimes I

know the subject matters are sort of limited

with normal individuals.

I’ve had cases where I felt turned down, but silently.

I sometimes feel disappointed and hurt,

then I retreat and go back into

my own indifferent world.

I may daydream and sometimes wish of certain fantasies,

things I sort of make up as a way

to try to hide from reality.

Something to make me happy and to absorb into my head,

such as, music and the arts.

I tell you, I’m not the Rain Man.

Try scatting with me.”

[scatting]

“Boy, Jordan.

That’s really great how you play the piano.”

“Thank you very much.”

“Yeah you’ve worked very hard playing the piano.”

“Thank you.”

“Am I a lousy girlfriend?”

“Not at all.

Don’t put yourself down.”

“You’re the best, Jordan.”

“You, too.”

”You are.”

“It is very special to really have Toni around.

And at times I could not have gotten by, I know,

without Toni.

It’s — I mean, she’s sort of brought in the reality

and, like, into to me.”

“Jordan?”

“She does bring structure into my life.

I mean, cooperativeness is a very important point

that I learned from her in dealing with relationships

in order to make it work.”

“Jordan, can you come here?

I love you.”

“Love you, too.”

“O.K. Jordan?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

“Jordan?”

“I know.”

“I love you.”

“I know.

I know.”

“Jordan, will you come here?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

“Now look, I know your game.

Come on.”

“Jordan?”

“I heard.

Come on.

Let’s go.”

“I love you.”

“Love you.”

“O.K.”

“O.K. Toni has Tourette’s Syndrome,

which involves twitches and she does

take medications for them.

She has also a learning disability.

I learned to, of course, accept this thing

and to accept who she herself is.”

“I got sent to my room and I lost my TV too,

so I couldn’t watch Little House on the Prairie.”

“So it’s right, you really were a brat, I see that.”

“Then the cat sleep with me for two days.”

“Yeah, he remained awake for those two days, I guess.

I try to do fine things that will get me with Toni,

I mean, relief for both of us.

And for me, as an example, the pet shelter

is a place that does give Toni,

and for me, our relief.”

“Mommy’s here.

Oh, yes.

How about a little kiss.

Here, Boppy.

Oh, here’s Rachelle.

She’s a nice cat.

She likes attention.

Come here, Rachelle.

Aw.

I notice when I pet another cat she gets jealous.”

“Well we all need to know that.

Very few get along in their breeds.”

“Oh, yeah.

Kissy, kiss.

Kiss her.

On the lips.”

“Reality is an existence and it is not fictional.

Maybe your father or mother could have

become one of those cats.”

“No, not that I know of.

My mom was into birds and my dad -- ”

“What it is is

format.”

“Every time, Jordan, when I see — “

“It’s hard to stay in reality.”

“I think of her watching over us.”

“Sometimes, like, you make plans

but, again, these promises and plans always go into chaos.

It’s like — I think according, like, to Nietzsche, that life

you think has one circle, but no, there

are added circles added to extra added circles, which

create chaos.

And then you sort of —

looks like you’re drowning.

Oh, yeah.

I see.

It could have been reincarnated [inaudible].”

“Cream cheese, or this cheese?”

“Because you’re a cheesy person.”

“I’m afraid so.”

“Sometimes you have to tread on water like that

and then come back to reality.

And to face it instead of hiding from the present.

You can’t go back to the past or do the things

that you enjoyed much.

You just have to keep going forward, always forward.

See what I mean?

We’re already gonna go over.

Wow.

Over $80.”

“O.K., that’s it?”

“So in order to make —

to put the things back, this is what — some of the things

we may have to do without.”

“Sorry.”

“No, it’s O.K.”

“It’s O.K. This goes back.

This goes back.”

“The potatoes have to go back.”

“Let me see.

And the — yeah but you can do without —

maybe one of the [inaudible], maybe one of them.”

“No, I’m keeping both.

Sorry, the peanut butter has to go.”

“No, no, no.

The peanut butter, we would still pay that —

make it my choice.

But then we’ll make the fettuccine —

we have other pastas.

We have other pastas.

That’s fine, one, we could take one out.”

“Take one out?”

“That’s fine.”

“Because we have no choice.”

“Yes.

And then that will leave us with?

That we can afford.

Here, Kate.”

“Well, there’s change.”

“Where did everybody go?

I bet they left.”

“O.K. O.K., I see, so it’s only in one bag.

Thank you.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you very much.

With these type of disorders, I mean,

and with that understanding of what she has,

it has brought us close together.

We learned, just like on Rudolph the Red Nosed

Reindeer, not to run away from our troubles, which

can have a bad effect on the relationship.”

“I don’t mind eating this at 5:00 in the morning.”

“Neither do I.

Well everybody does have something — everybody’s

not completely normal, I mean, in their ways of life.

Disabilities are secondary, but we are people first.

You don’t say a disabled person,

you say, a person with a disability.”

“They’re swimming — “

“There’s one.”

“Oh, and there’s some over there, too.”

Just like the song Imagine.

It’s, like, ‘They say I’m a dreamer,

but I’m not the only one.

I hope someday you’ll join us, and the world

will be and live as one.’

Which is kind of, anyway, my hope

for the future for everybody so

that people with disabilities can be treated

equal just like what we are.”

“Isn’t that nice when you hear the church bell ringing?”

“Yes, the Big Ben sounds.

Yeah.”

“Yeah.”

“Sure.”

“It reminds me of you.”

“Sure.”

“I dig you.”

“Sure.”

“Self advocacy, you see it all happen, with self advocacy,

cy, cy, cy, cy, self advocacy, self advocacy, self advocacy.

Yeah, come on people from California

there’s a conference for you to attend.

With speeches and workshops and keynote speakers,

this is the meeting place you’ll never forget.

Dreaming and achieving with self advocacy.

In lower California.

Self advocacy, [inaudible] with self advocacy.

Self advocacy, self advocacy.

Yeah.

Now.”