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  • Many of us are wandering the world bearing a lot of emotional damage.

  • We may be depressed, anxious, or very difficult around sex in relationships.

  • We might ask ourselves where the difficulties came from.

  • It's a continually weird provocative and yet, in our view, extremely accurate answer,

  • that the damage comes almost always from childhood.

  • Especially early childhood.

  • How we were cared for as infants and children, has a disproportionate effect on how we will relate to others in adulthood.

  • What we need above all else is a responsive parent;

  • An adult who looks after our needs with sensitivity and kindness.

  • This is quite literally life defining and life saving.

  • It sounds like nothing much and nothing too hard.

  • But without this kind of responsive love, we are wounded for life.

  • Many of us have been.

  • Researchers have become ever better at showing the effects of neglect on children.

  • One of the world's leading expert is Dr. Edward Tronick,

  • director of the Child Development unit at Harvard University.

  • Together with his team, he's responsible for one of the great experiments in the history of psychology,

  • known as: The Still Face Experiment.

  • Babies, this young, are extremely responsive

  • to the emotions, the reactivity and the social interaction

  • that they get from the world around them.

  • This is something that we started studying 34 years ago.

  • When people didn't think that infants could engage in social interaction.

  • In this Still Face Experiment, what the mother did was:

  • she sits down and she's playing with her baby who's about 1 year of age.

  • "My good girl!"

  • And she gives a greeting to the baby, the baby gives a greeting back to her.

  • This baby starts pointing at different places in the world,

  • and the mother is trying to engage her and play with her.

  • They're working to coordinate their emotions,

  • and their intentions. What they want to do in the world.

  • And that's really what the baby is used to.

  • And then we ask the mother to not respond to the baby.

  • The baby very quickly picks up on this.

  • And then she uses all of her abilities to try and get the mother back.

  • She smiles at the mother,

  • she points. Because she's used to the mother looking where she points.

  • The baby puts both hands up, in front of her and says "What's happening here?"

  • She makes that screechy sound at the mother.

  • Like: "Come on! Why aren't we doing this?"

  • Even in these 2 minutes, when they don't get the normal reaction,

  • they react with negative emotions,

  • they turn away, they feel the stress of it.

  • They actually may lose the control of their posture because of the stress that they're experiencing.

  • Watching the baby get distressed can be highly triggering.

  • If a child can get so upset over a few seconds of cold and unfeeling behavior,

  • we have a sense of what can happen over years or more of neglect.

  • No wonder some of us don't feel so well inside.

  • We had an equivalent of a "Still-Face"-parent for our first decade and more.

  • But knowing how vulnerable we are, it shouldn't merely sadden us.

  • We can take stock of how we've been failed and understand the link between the past and our present difficulties.

  • Psychological research, like the Still Face experiment, is at the forefront of helping us to understand ourselves emotionally.

  • Shedding scientific light on the origins of our sadness and complexity.

  • Along the way, the experiment proves something else beyond doubt.

  • Love isn't a luxury. It's a gateway to our very survival and sanity.

  • Most books that want to change us, seek to make us richer or thinner.

  • This book wants to help us be nicer,

  • less irritable, more attentive, warmer people.

  • Click the link to learn more.

Many of us are wandering the world bearing a lot of emotional damage.

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B1 中級

早期情感忽視的影響 (The Impact of Early Emotional Neglect)

  • 9 0
    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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