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  • your Children are not your Children.

  • They're the sons and daughters off life's longing for itself.

  • They come true you, but not from you.

  • And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

  • So set the poet Kahlil Gibran.

  • Hidden within those words, is one of the world's greatest parenting secrets that are rolled US parents is not to mold our Children.

  • Instead, our role is to ensure that our kids blossom into their truest and most authentic sells.

  • So how can you become the best parent you can be so that you give your kids the best lives they can live?

  • We have to rid ourselves off these lies off parenting.

  • The first lie is that in order to be a good parent, we have to discipline our Children.

  • I remember when this light hit me.

  • I walked into my daughter's Eve's room, and I found that Eve had taken watercolors and created her version of four year old art.

  • How dare she expressed her creativity on this beautiful wall with water colors and then shamefully, I realized what was going on E for showing to me her expression off life, her expression of her artistic creativity.

  • And in my mind, I was thinking, Oh my God, how am I gonna find that exact paint color?

  • Who do I have to pay to repaint that wall?

  • Fortunately, Eve's mom was wiser and smarter than I was, she said.

  • Eve can paint on every wall in her room.

  • This is Eve's room.

  • She gets to decide, and I realize I was operating from a script that had being drilled into me multiple generations down.

  • Think about it.

  • If I had disciplined Eve, what would have happened?

  • Eve's meaning making machine, as a young child would have thought her to say, Wow, I will never be creative again.

  • There is no place in the world for art.

  • I should not express myself.

  • These are Dad's walls.

  • For generations we've been thought that we have to discipline our Children or they grow up to be unsuccessful or worse, delinquents.

  • But studies show that Children who grow up in households with stern discipline actually are the ones who have problems and often become police themselves.

  • They have higher rates of anxiety, depression and lower grades, approach your Children's behavior issues with compassion and with empowerment.

  • The second line is that we need to make our Children happy and give them everything we never got in life.

  • From the time my son Hayden was a young boy and I saw that he had a knack for science.

  • I started talking to him about M I T.

  • And the idea league universities and how great it would be a peace.

  • Somehow I got to go to M I.

  • T and dabble in robotics are artificial intelligence.

  • Then I started to understand why I remembered how when I was 18 years old, I applied to 10 Ivy League universities.

  • I remembered my dream school, Yale University, and I remember the day I got rejected.

  • I never made it to a single Ivy League university that so many of us are obsessed not with our Children living life right now.

  • But this idea we have off who are kids might be in the future, the doc said, is that this can push our kids to go into careers, feels universities, even marriages that do not resonate with them.

  • We're setting up our kids, delete the lives we missed out on.

  • This doesn't mean that we don't teach our kids the experiences and knowledge of life that we have.

  • But it means that as we do this, we respect the fact that our kids lead their own lives.

  • They are sovereign Centeon beings.

  • The third line.

  • It is the idea that we need to impose our traditions, our culture and our religious beliefs on our Children.

  • Don't get me wrong.

  • Culture, religion, traditions These are things to be celebrated.

  • But remember, it's one writer said tradition can be peer pressure from dead people.

  • Why did you become a Jew or a Muslim or Christian or Hindu?

  • It was because your soul in this lifetime was merely born in a Jew or Muslim or Christian or Hindu family, and your parents indoctrinated you in that belief.

  • They did it with love.

  • But keep this in mind.

  • Did you ever get to choose your own religion?

  • The world is changing fast today.

  • We can pick and choose our traditions, our culture, our religion, our beliefs.

  • We can freely marry people of a different culture or religion.

  • Yet in some parts of the world, this is even illegal.

  • This is how bad this lie has gotten.

  • When we push our beliefs on our kids, we disconnect their true formless essence, and it creates this pressure to conform toe another person's beliefs and ideas.

  • So remember, tradition can be beautiful, but it should absolutely not be forced onto our Children.

  • Our Children come toe, asshole, they come to us worthy.

  • Our inability to see this is more a reflection of ourselves than them.

  • And worse, these lies are often disguised as positive virtues.

  • Billions off parents around the world believe these destructive lies.

  • I did, too.

  • Until recently, the greatest thing you can do for your kids is to practice conscious parenting.

  • It is the idea that you are not there to more than shape and educate your Children alone.

  • But your Children are also your teachers that parenting is an act of self growth.

  • First, and from this place off conscious awareness and growth, you deliver the best to your Children.

your Children are not your Children.


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養育子女的3大謊言|Vishen Lakhiani (3 Big Lies of Parenting | Vishen Lakhiani)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日