I alwaysthoughtlike, Oh, ifitwouldbe a sizetwo, I wouldfinallybehappybecauseit's whatweseeallthetime.
Mywholelife, I feltpressuredtobe a sizethat I'veneverbeen.
Thisdon't look.
I'm comparingto a personthat I usedtobe, whichisalsopainfulfor a lotofpeopletothisfantasyideathatsuddenlyif I wasthinner, myexperienceswouldbebetter.
Mylifewouldbebetter.
Myrelationshipsmightbebetter.
I don't thinkthatthatvoiceissoloudtoday, thankfully, butformostofmylifewasvery, very, veryloud.
Andunfortunately, thosevoicesareallowedbecausetheexperiencesas a girlover a size 10 whoalsohappenstobebrownandstrangeorwhateverit's affirmedinlifeandthatlike, yeah, likeyourlifeis a littlebitbetterifyouarethosethings.
I thinkwe'realljustbrainwashedbyHollywood.
Andlikeallthegossipmagazines, I mean, it's hardtogetoutofit.
There's somanylabelsinourculture, likeplussizeandstraightsize, and I justdon't thinkit's necessarybecauseyouwalkoutsideeverydayandthere's somanypeopleandyou'renotlabelingtheminyourhead.
I thinkitcanbehardintheindustryinthatit's justlikestraightsizeplussize.
Sowhen I wasreadingmagazines, therewereonly, like, thesamekindofgirls.
Likewideblond, tall, skinny, um, I waslike, theopposite.
So I'm, like, knows I'm notlikenorepresentationatall.
Actually, I thoughtthatwasthenorm.
Butobviouslynowthatchanged.
And I didn't knowthatitcanbedifferent.
I'm like, Oh, wow, thisshouldhavehappened, likewaitbeforewaybefore I lookeduptothewoman, thestrongwomanaroundme, andthatmademefeellike I had a strongfoundation, and I didn't reallylookintothemediafor a representationgetssoimportanttobeforpeopletoberepresented.
I'm verylookinginthewaythatyouknow, I'm a whitewoman, so I letshehavegrownupseeingpeoplelikemeallthetime, andit's reallyimportant.