Name: 【生命教育】當你感到失落時該怎麼辦? (Feeling Lost)
Uploaded: 2022-07-26T21:01:10.000Z
Duration: 8 min 32 s

現在進行式

Hey there, it's Marie Forleo, and you are watching MarieTV, the place to be to create a business and life you love.

嗨，我是Marie Forleo，你現在收看的是MarieTV ，開創你熱愛的人生與事業的地方。

Now, if you look closely, things may look a little different around here.

現在，如果你仔細看，會發現場景有點不一樣。

If you look in the back, there's like my flowers on some wooden boxes.

如果你看後面，我的花放在木箱子上。

I don't have my normal stool. We got a little DayQuil in the house, what-what?

今天沒有高腳椅。這邊還有感冒藥，怎麼回事啊？

We have a shoot day today for MarieTV. We shoot a lot of episodes at once and when we got here, everything set up, but the furniture did not get delivered!

我們得拍一整天的MarieTV。一次錄好幾集，而當我們到達後，一切都準備就緒時，傢俱卻沒送來 ！

Now, I'm sure you've had things in your life where things do not work out as planned, and how do we roll?

現在，我相信你的人生中也有過事情不按計畫走的時候，那我們該怎麼辦？

The show must go on, so we're going to get into a little Q&A Tuesday action right now.

節目還是要進行，所以直接進入週二的問答時間吧。

This's gonna be fun 'cause my head's a little foggy from the DayQuil, but we're going to have a good time.  Alright, Let's do this.

今天的節目會很有趣，因為我吃了感冒藥頭有點暈暈的。不過我們還是能共度美好時光的。好了，讓我們開始吧。 

So today's question comes from Vanessa, and she writes:

今天的問題來自凡妮莎，她寫道：

"Hi, Marie, thanks for all you do, here is my deal."

「嗨，Marie！謝謝妳做的一切，以下是我所發生的。」

"I was with someone for the last ten years. We were engaged. He was the provider. I was pursuing acting and we had goals set up for our future."

「我跟某個人交往十年並且訂婚了，他是維持家計的那個人，而我則追求演藝事業，而我們已經對未來有規劃了。」

"We grew distant and long story short, he broke up with me a month ago."

「後來我們漸漸變得疏離，而總之，一個月前他跟我分手了。」

"I'm starting my whole life over at 32 and feel lost. I'm unmotivated, broke and terrified about my future."

「在 32 歲時重新開始人生，我感到茫然。我既沒錢又缺乏動力，對於未來我很害怕。」

"Will I be alone? Will I be too old to start a family? I'm trying and failing at being positive and having any kind of faith."

「我會孤獨一人嗎？會不會年紀太大嫁不出去？我試圖振作卻失敗，心中也毫無信念。」

"How do I feel all these things and still move forward?"

「我該如何在感受這些情緒的同時向前邁進呢？」

"I've accepted that I'm gonna be in pain, but how do I work and keep from being constantly consumed by this?"

「我已接受自己將身陷痛苦之中，但又該如何努力而不被痛苦吞噬？」

Vanessa, this is such a great question. I am so happy that you wrote in.

Vanessa，這真是很棒的問題。我很高興妳寫這封信來。

I don't know any person on the planet who can't remember a time in their own life when they felt shattered and lost.

世界上所有人一定都經歷過人生茫然低潮的時期。

In fact, when I was in my early 20s and I broke off my engagement, I was such a mess that I moved home with my parents because I was completely devastated and I didn't know what to do.

其實我 20歲出頭的時候，也跟我當時的未婚夫分手，當時的我一團糟，只好搬回家與父母同住，因為我悲痛欲絕，不知道該怎麼辦。 

I felt like a total failure both as a life coach and in my relationships.

不論在感情路上或是身為一名生活教練，我感到自己是全然失敗的。

However, there were a few things that I did that helped me climb out of that misery.

然而，當時我採取的一些行動，成功幫我脫離痛苦。

Now, the one thing I did right was I kept my bartending job. It was stable and it was something that I could just go to.

其中一項我做對的事是，我沒有放棄調酒師的工作。這份工作很穩定，也不必花太多心力。 

I remember if my girl friends called, even if I didn't want to go out, I just went out.

我記得如果我的女生朋友約我出去，即使不想去我還是會去。

I made it my focus to just do one thing at a time and really do just what was in front of me.

我強迫自己一次只做一件事，而且真的只專注於眼前的事物。

Now, maybe you don't have a bartending job to go to; however, here are four key ideas that can help you start over and get past anything.

也許妳不像我有份酒吧的工作可以分心，但以下四個重點，能幫助妳克服一切重新出發。

Number one, everything happens for a reason.

This may sound like fluff, but it's a really useful framework for life.

聽起來像句廢話，其實是很實用的生活架構。

You've got to remember that nothing has meaning besides the meaning that you give it.

你要了解事情本身沒有任何意義，除非妳賦予它意義。

And it's up to you whether you choose to assign an empowering or disempowering meaning to this experience.

對過去經歷感到積極或消極，完全取決於妳。

If you go through life knowing that every problem is serving a greater purpose, somehow it's making you stronger and smarter, you're going to look for and find an empowering lesson in every situation.

回頭看看人生，你會明白困境將成就更大的目標讓妳更堅強、更有智慧。妳要在每個處境中尋找正面的教訓。 

Someday you're gonna say, "If so-and-so didn't break up with me, I wouldn't have blank."

有天妳會說：「如果某某人沒有跟我分手，我就不會……」

And that blank is gonna be a beautiful surprise that you couldn't possibly predict right now.

而這個空格，將會是妳現在所無法預想的美好事物。

Key idea number two: Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

重點二、傷痛無可避免，折磨一念之間。

Vanessa, you wrote here: "I've accepted that I'm going to be in pain."

凡妮莎，妳在信中寫道：「我已經接受自己將身陷痛苦之中。」 

Now when you say that, it's as though the pain is constant and it's gonna last forever. Here's something I want you to know: "Nothing lasts forever including pain."

當你這樣說時，好像痛苦是永恆的。現在我要妳知道：「沒有任何事是永恆的，包含痛苦在內。」 

Pain only lasts if you resist it or if you dramatize it by telling yourself the same old "I'm a victim" story again and again and again.

唯有當妳執意身陷泥沼，或是戲劇化的催眠自己是受害者，痛苦才會延續。

So remember, pain is inevitable but suffering is optional.

所以記得：「傷痛無可避免，折磨一念之間」。

What you need to practice is allowing yourself to actually feel the pain, to experience it in your body without going into a mental drama about what it means.

妳要練習真實感受痛楚，用妳的身體感官體驗，而不是上演內心小劇場。

And what I mean by mental drama is getting lost in thoughts like, "Why did this happen to me?" or "Will I be too old to start a family?" or yada, yada, yada.

而我所謂的內心小劇場指的是妳迷失於以下的想法之中：「為什麼是我！？」、「我會不會太老就沒人要？」或其他諸如此類的執念。 

All that stuff is a story that you're telling yourself that's not actually true.

這些都只是妳編出來告訴自己的，不真實的故事。

And if you just experience the physical pain of it without going into the mental drama, it'll be over before you know it.

如果只用身體感受痛楚，而不胡思亂想，痛苦將在妳察覺之前消失無蹤。

So, go ahead and feel the pain, maybe the sensations in your body is like a tightness in your chest or a heaviness in your belly.

所以，迎上前去感受痛苦吧，也許妳會感到身體飽受折磨。

But remember, if you actually experience the physical sensations, the pain is never gonna last more than a few seconds.

但記得，如果妳實際去感受，這些身體疼痛不過多久就會煙消雲散。

Key idea number three: Make is-ness your business.

重點三、當前事物，才是首要之務 。

Vanessa, a lot of what's holding you back right now is anxiety about the future or regrets about the past.

凡妮莎，妳現在舉足不前的原因來自於妳對未來的徬徨、對過去的遺憾。

And if you really break it down, the future and the past are just mental concepts. They don't really exist.

抽絲剝繭來看，未來及過去都只是抽象概念。他們其實並不存在。

The only thing that exists right now is this current moment, the present moment of now.

現在唯一存在的：是當下的此時此刻。

So the trick to getting yourself back on track is to become a master at living in the moment.

所以，重回正軌的秘訣是專注於當下。

Because the truth is, you are capable of handling anything that happens in this current moment of now.

因為事實上，妳有能力掌握現況。

I call this practice "Making is-ness your business."

我稱之為「活在當下」的練習。

In fact, I wrote a whole chapter on it in my book "Make Every Man Want You."

事實上，我的書《讓每個男人迷上你》中，有一整章在探討這點。

Making is-ness your business means giving your full attention and focus to this moment, whatever is happening right now.

要妳不論發生什麼事，都能全神貫注於當下。

So you've got to ask yourself, "Can I handle what's actually happening in this moment of now?"

妳得問自己：「眼前這件事我應付的了嗎？」

Not your drama-filled thoughts about what's happening, but the reality of what's happening in this moment.

不是透過戲劇化的臆想，而是專注於現實。

So for example, "Is your heart beating right now? " "Yes." Perfect!

比如說：「妳的心臟在跳動嗎？」「是的。」很好！

"Are you breathing right now?" "Yes." Awesome!

「妳在呼吸嗎？」「是的。」棒呆了！

是的，這一刻已經掌握在妳手中。

Now that moment is over and you're in a new moment.

而現在，上一刻結束了，下一刻開始。

Play this game long enough and you'll condition yourself to be engaged in your real life, instead of your thoughts about your life.

長時間持續這個練習，妳會讓自己適應於現實，而非腦海中關於人生的猜想

Number four: Do the basics one day at a time.

The key to build momentum and getting back on track is to take everything one day at a time.

讓妳恢復動力、回歸正軌的關鍵在於「過好每一天」。

So there's a reason that it's a theme song and it's a cliché, "It works! "

它之所以變成老套話甚至是陳腔濫調是有原因的──因為有用！

You got to eat real good food today. Exercise your body today. Do what needs to be done today.

「今天」吃健康的食物、「今天」去運動、「今天」做完該做的事。

Not for the whole week, not for the month, not for the rest of your life, just do it today!

別去想下週、下個月、或是下半輩子，只專注於今日！

Especially if you don't feel like doing something, do it anyway.

尤其當妳意興闌珊的時候，更要去做！

You know, you say you don't want to go to the gym, but you get yourself there and you work out and you're like, "Oh my god, I'm so glad that I came!"

雖然不想健身，但妳強迫自己去健身房之後覺得：「天啊！還好我有來！」

Or your friends ask you to go out and you really don't wanna go out, but you suit up and you go out anyway, and then you come home and you're like, "Oh my god, that was so awesome, I'm so glad I went!"

或是朋友約你出門但你不想去時，雖然不想面對朋友，但妳終究打理好出門。回家後才覺得：「天啊！棒透了，幸好我有去！」 

So focus on the basics one day at a time and before you know it, you are going to be back on track.

所以過好每一天，而自然而然地，妳的生活將很快步入正軌。

Now, before we wrap this up, I want to leave you with a beautiful tweetable from Mary Tyler Moore, and she says,

現在，結束之前，我要送給妳瑪麗·泰勒·摩爾的一則很美的推文。

"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."

她說：「勇氣從痛苦中茁壯 。若生命總是順遂，妳將學不會勇敢。」

Vanessa, that was my A to your Q. Thank you so much for asking and do let us know how it goes.

凡妮莎，以上是我對於你的問題的回答。謝謝妳提出問題，請讓我們知道後續發展。

Have you ever felt shattered and lost and had trouble getting started again? What did you do to get back on track?

妳們曾經陷入混亂迷惘中難以重新開始嗎？ 妳用什麼方法幫助妳重回正軌？

Whether it's an idea from this video or something completely different, I would love to hear from you.

不論是影片裡的建議或其它完全不同的方法，我都很樂意知道你們的意見。

As always, the best action happens over in the comments section at marieforleo.com, so go there and leave a comment now.

一如往常，到marieforleo.com的討論區留言是最棒的回饋！所以現在就請前往官網留言吧！

So did you like this video where our set is kinda half-created and I'm all hyped up on cold medicine?

所以，即使這部影片的佈景才佈製到一半、感冒藥讓我有點嗨，妳仍喜歡這部影片嗎？

If so, subscribe to our channel and share it with your friends.

如果是的話，請訂閱我們的頻道並與朋友們分享。

And if you want even more great resources to have a business in life that you love, plus some personal insights from me that I only talk about in e-mail.

如果你想要更多的資源來擁有你熱愛的人生事業，以及我電子報的專屬內容。

And if you're lucky, I'll have even more cold medicine.

在我感冒藥吃完之前妳有福啦！

Get your butt over to MarieForleo.com and sign up for e-mail updates.

快進入MarieForleo.com 加入會員，就可以收到最新消息啦。

Stay on your game and keep going for your dreams.

堅持自我，持續努力追求夢想。

The world needs that special gift that only you have.

這個世界需要妳獨一無二的天賦。

Thank you so much for watching and I'll see you next  time on MarieTV.