orient toward

US

・

UK

B1 中級

phr. v.片語動詞朝向

The company is orienting its marketing toward younger consumers.

v.t./i.動詞 (及物/不及物)以...為導向

Many people orient their lives toward spiritual goals.

影片字幕

迴應責備，接受現實 | Being Well 播客 (Responding to Criticism, and Accepting the Way Things Are | Being Well Podcast)

53:07

迴應責備，接受現實 | Being Well 播客 (Responding to Criticism, and Accepting the Way Things Are | Being Well Podcast)

For me, I would just loop back to that feeling that when I understand the assignment, when I understand what somebody really wants from me underneath it all, or what somebody is actually expressing to me underneath it all, it is so much easier to take a step in and relate to them from that stance. And I think that that is a great roadmap, both if you're the person giving the complaint, and if you're the person receiving the complaint. If you're giving it, be really clear about what you actually want, the actual feeling that you're expressing, the reasons that you're offering this thing. And then on the other hand, really try to see that when somebody offers one of those things to you, even if it is wreathed in all sorts of other stuff that's getting in the way of the communication, because it can really help you. Just get to the heart of the matter, and give the person what they actually want. And get more of what you actually want yourself. I had a great time today talking with Rick about how we can get better at both giving and receiving criticism. And alongside that, how we can work on not getting caught up in a mood of complaint. And I began the episode by reading a couple of critical reviews that the podcast, and really specifically me, had received from listeners over the past year. And this helped to just illustrate a point that such a huge part of life comes down to what are you paying attention to right now? Because we get so many reviews that are incredibly positive, but if I just clip out that tiny little piece of the whole pie that's negative, well, that's what we really tend to fixate on. And that's certainly what really captures my attention when I just casually scan through the reviews for the podcast. And that's one example, but this is just so true of life in general, right? If we're operating from a stance of the person offering correction, the criticizer, then we can focus on the elements of the situation that displease us, that we don't like, the things that we want to have be different in some way. Or we can orient toward the part of a situation that is more useful or enjoyable. And if there's nothing about it that's useful and enjoyable, well, we can at least kind of take it as an opportunity to practice, or as an indication to us that we should really just go somewhere else. And then on the other hand, as the criticizee, as the person who's receiving the criticism, we can focus on all of the parts of the person's communication that weren't quite right. We can pick nits, we can get wrapped up in their view, we can feel a lot of excessive shame, we can be oppositional, or we can try to separate out some of the useful bits of what they're saying and see how the person's take might be influenced by their own unique circumstance, or really deliberately exercise some agency by saying, hey, okay, this is the part of that criticism that I'm comfortable taking in, and these are the parts of it that I'm going to kind of leave at the door. And the fact that so much of life is open to interpretation really takes us to what I've been calling the mood of complaint. How for many people, including myself, you can really move toward a stance where everything is just not quite the way that you want it to be, where you're constantly looking for the ways in which situations are disappointing, or not quite right, or it was good, but was it great? And I really found myself getting trapped in that mood for a pretty long time. And so much of the unhappiness that we find in life, and certainly that I find in life, comes from wanting things to be different from the way that they are. And when we feel that way, we might complain because we think that we're moving things from unlikable to more likable. But how often does that actually happen, right? How often does complaining actually solve the problem? And so a much more effective way to solve the problem is to do what we can to widen our window of acceptance, to get more okay with things being the way that they are. Now at the same time, there are obviously situations where it is more than appropriate to want to change them in some kind of way. And so we spent a little while talking about some of the ways that we can get better at offering a complaint. And a lot of it really came down again and again to this idea of starting by joining. What can we do to get on the same team in one way or another as the person that we're complaining to? Can we lead with emotional connection? Can we get on the same team in any kind of way? Is there even a sliver of what the other person is doing that we can look at and go, okay, yeah, I can get on board with that?
對我來說，我只是想回到那種感覺，當我理解了任務，當我理解了在這一切的背後，某人真正想要從我這裡得到什麼，或者在這一切的背後，某人實際上在向我表達什麼，就會更容易邁出一步，從這個立場出發與他們建立聯繫。我認為，無論你是提出抱怨的人，還是接受抱怨的人，這都是一個很好的路線圖。如果你是提出抱怨的人，那麼一定要非常清楚你到底想要什麼，你所表達的真實感受，你提出抱怨的原因。另一方面，當有人向你提出這樣的問題時，即使它被各種其他的東西纏繞著，阻礙了溝通，你也要努力去看清它，因為它真的能幫到你。只要抓住問題的核心，給對