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  • The future is coming fast, and it's here now,

  • which means Ronny Chieng is back with another installment

  • of "Today's Future Now."

  • -♪ ♪ -(applause and cheering)

  • Thanks, Trevor.

  • The "Computer" Electronics Show in Las Vegas just wrapped up.

  • It's the annual convention

  • where tech companies show off new gadgets so useless,

  • they make men's nipples seem functional.

  • And this year was no exception.

  • The nation's most anticipated tech show of the year

  • opens its doors to the public today in Las Vegas.

  • The Consumer Electronics Show-- CES-- gives us a glimpse

  • of the new technology

  • that will be making its way into our lives.

  • WOMAN: This year at CES, there's a faucet I can talk to.

  • MAN: If turning on the faucet ever feels

  • like a lot of work, then meet the U by Moen Smart Faucet.

  • It takes voice commands.

  • Hey, Google, ask Moen to dispense two cups of water.

  • -MALE VOICE: Getting Moen. -(chime)

  • FEMALE VOICE: Wave over sensor to dispense two cups now.

  • (chime)

  • Two cups.

  • (laughter)

  • At last, a faucet that takes 30 minutes to fill a cup.

  • (laughter)

  • Who is this for?

  • Is there someone out there who's like,

  • "Finally a sink for me, the guy who wants

  • "to drink exactly two cups of water and not a drop more.

  • "I don't want to be overhydrated,

  • "and I don't want to be underhydrated.

  • I want to be perfectly hydrated"?

  • Also, by the way, every faucet is a faucet you can talk to

  • if you're very, very lonely, okay? Trust me.

  • What... what would impress me--

  • if they actually invented a faucet

  • that you can't talk to, okay?

  • It's, like, you ask it for a cup of water, and it's like,

  • "Look, I'm just not ready to open up right now, okay?"

  • And if you're hoping CES will bring us the latest advancements

  • in artificial intelligence, well, keep hoping,

  • because the robot uprising is gonna take a while.

  • Samsung has unveiled Neon,

  • the world's first artificial humans at this year's

  • Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

  • These virtual beings look

  • and behave like humans.

  • Creators claim that the human avatars have the ability

  • to converse and sympathize like real people.

  • Okay, so, I'm about to get to chat with Neon

  • and ask it a few questions.

  • Here we go.

  • And my questions are going to be relayed

  • by Simon here to Neon.

  • Neon, what's your favorite food?

  • Neon, what's your favorite food?

  • Pizza.

  • (laughter)

  • Wow. Millions of dollars in research and development,

  • and that's the big revelation.

  • Pizza.

  • I bet that's the only word she knows.

  • It's like, "Hey, Neon, how do we solve climate change?"

  • And two hours later, it's like, "Pizza."

  • (laughter)

  • And also, how does it even know it likes pizza?

  • How can you trust something that's never eaten before?

  • That's like asking the pope about his favorite sex position.

  • -(groaning) -He's not qualified to answer, okay?

  • And what kind of sorry-ass tech demo is this?

  • Why do I have to ask the guy to ask the robot for me?

  • (laughter)

  • Does-does he come with the computer?

  • Imagine if that's how it worked with Siri.

  • Say, hey, Siri, turn on the lights.

  • I mean... (scoffs) Sorry.

  • -Hey, Derrick. -(laughter)

  • Tell Siri to turn on the lights.

  • (laughter)

  • Thanks, Derrick.

  • But luckily,

  • not all the stupid stuff at CES is useless this year,

  • because one new invention might actually change our lives.

  • WOMAN: A company called DnaNudge

  • helps shoppers make healthier decisions

  • while grocery shopping based on their DNA.

  • So you go into the supermarket, take a DNA test, and then,

  • you wear a band that scans groceries as you shop

  • to recommend the best food for you based on your DNA.

  • So what-what I can do, if I'm wearing this device,

  • is turn up to the supermarket and actually scan a product.

  • And that-that went red, so that means

  • this isn't ideal for my body chemistry.

  • -(laughter) -Okay.

  • DNA grocery shopping kind of sounds like it might make sense.

  • Although, I got to be honest. This whole thing sounds

  • like the world's worst Lizzo remix, all right?

  • ♪ I just took a DNA test

  • Turns out I'm 100%... ♪ Buying Cheetos.

  • (laughter)

  • Yo. We don't need a DNA test

  • to know that we need to eat healthy food, okay?

  • Let me help you out.

  • If all your eating comes in a box

  • with a cartoon character on it, it's bad for you, okay?

  • There, I just saved you $200.

  • Eating healthy isn't that complicated.

  • (bleep) your DNA. Just eat more vegetables, okay?

  • We don't need to map the human genome

  • to know that it's a bad idea to eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

  • Just test the DNA. Are you... are you Irish?

  • Eat more vegetables.

  • Are you... are you Chinese? Eat more vegetables.

  • Oh, you're two percent West African and 98% Swedish?

  • Well, eat more vegetables.

  • And by the way, that just means you're white.

  • Ronny, Ronny... you seem especially upset

  • by this DNA service.

  • Hell yeah, I am! I gave it my DNA.

  • It told me to eat more walnuts

  • and that I'm adopted, okay?

  • Which sucks, because I hate walnuts.

  • -(laughter) -Now, if you'll excuse me,

  • I have to ask Derek to ask Siri to ask my faucet

  • -to get me a new slice of pizza. -Ronny Chieng, everyone.

The future is coming fast, and it's here now,

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今天的未來--2020年CES科技展上的蠢事|每日一展。 (Today’s Future Now - Stupid Stuff at the CES 2020 Tech Expo | The Daily Show)

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    林宜悉 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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