A dentist, they have their drills.

觀察一位牙醫師，他們有牙鑽。

In our era and the type of work most of us are doing, the tool we most need is actually centered around being able to give and receive feedback well.

在我們生活的這個年代，還有考量到大部分人的工作，我們最需要的工具大多圍繞在可以給予還有接受回饋的能力方面。

[The Way We Work]

[我們工作的方式]

[Made possible with the support of Dropbox.]

[感謝 Dropbox 贊助]

Humans have been talking about feedback for centuries.

人類已經談論「回饋」這件事好幾個世紀了。

In fact, Confucius, way back in 500 BC, talked about how important it is to be able to say difficult messages well.

實際上，孔子早在西元前 500 年就已經提到了能夠好好表達困難訊息的重要性。

But to be honest, we're still pretty bad at it.

但老實說，我們在這方面表現還是挺差的。

In fact, a recent Gallup survey found that only 26 percent of employees strongly agree that the feedback they get actually improves their work.

事實上，一個最近由 Gallup 公司做的調查指出，只有二成六的員工強烈同意他們得到的回饋有助於改善他們的工作。

Those numbers are pretty dismal.

這個數字還滿慘的。

So what's going on?

所以到底是怎麼了呢？

The way that most people give their feedback actually isn't brain-friendly.

大部分人給予回饋的方式對於大腦而言都不太友善。

People fall into one of two camps.

人們會分成兩個陣營。

Either they're of the camp that is very indirect and soft and the brain doesn't even recognize that feedback is being given or it's just simply confused, or they fall into the other camp of being too direct, and with that, it tips the other person into the land of being defensive.

一派是非常不直接且柔和的人，接受意見的人大腦甚至沒有意識到正在接受回饋或單純被混淆了，另一派是講話過度直接的人，而接收回饋的人也因此防禦心變重。

There's this part of the brain called the amygdala, and it's scanning at all times to figure out whether the message has a social threat attached to it.

大腦裡有一個部位叫杏仁核，它會不斷掃描訊息來辨認在這些訊息之中是否帶有社交上的威脅。

With that, we'll move forward to defensiveness, we'll move backwards in retreat, and what happens is the feedback giver then starts to dysregulated as well.

也因為如此，我們會主動出擊以防衛自己，或者選擇退一步，而這時發生的情況就是回饋者開始有些失去控制。

They add more ums and ahs and justifications, and the whole thing gets wonky really fast.

他們在言語中加了很多不確定的詞並辯解，然後讓整件事快速地變得搖擺不定。

It doesn't have to be this way.

其實事情不用變成這樣。

I and my team have spent many years going into different companies and asking who here is a great feedback giver.

我還有我的團隊花了許多年，走進不同的公司，詢問誰是最棒的回饋者。

Anybody who's named again and again, we actually bring into our labs to see what they're doing differently.

我們邀請被一再提名的人來到我們的實驗室，來分析他們的不同之處。

And what we find is that there's a four-part formula that you can use to say any difficult message well.

然後我們發現有一個四步驟公式可以讓你傳達任何困難的訊息。

Okay, are you ready for it?

你準備好了嗎？

Here we go.

我們開始吧！

The first part of the formula is what we call the micro-yes.

第一個步驟我們稱之為「潛在微小的同意性」。

Great feedback givers begin their feedback by asking a question that is short but important.

好的回饋者會透過提出一個簡單扼要的問題來開始他們的回饋。

It lets the brain know that feedback is actually coming.

這讓大腦知道即將要收到一個回饋。

It would be something, for example, like, "Do you have five minutes to talk about how that last conversation went" or "I have some ideas for how we can improve things. Can I share them with you?"

或類似如：「能不能借用你五分鐘時間來了解上段對話在講什麼」或者「我有些想法可以幫助我們一起改善事情。我可以分享給你嗎？」

This micro-yes question does two things for you.

這個技巧為你做了兩件事。

First of all, it's going to be a pacing tool.

第一，它是一個掌控步調的工具。

It lets the other person know that feedback is about to be given.

它讓其他人知道有一個回饋將被提出。

And the second thing it does is it creates a moment of buy-in.

第二，它製造了一瞬間的認同感。

I can say yes or no to that yes-or-no question.

對於問句我可以決定自己要回答好或不好。

And with that, I get a feeling of autonomy.

而透過這樣，我得到了自主權。

The second part of the feedback formula is going to be giving your data point.

第二步驟是點名你的「資訊點」。

Here, you should name specifically what you saw or heard, and cut out any words that aren't objective.

你應該明確指出你所看到或聽到的資訊，並排除一切不客觀的字。

There's a concept we call blur words.

這個概念我們稱之為「模糊字眼」。

A blur word is something that can mean different things to different people.

模糊字眼的定義因人而異。

Blur words are things that are not specific.

模糊字眼是不明確具體的。

So for example, if I say "You shouldn't be so defensive" or "You could be more proactive."

舉例來說，如果我說：「你不應該防衛心這麼重」或者「你應該更積極主動一點。」

What we see great feedback givers doing differently is they'll convert their blur words into actual data points.

我們觀察到好的回饋者不同的地方在於，他們會將一切模糊字眼轉換成明確的資訊點。

So for example, instead of saying, "You know, you aren't reliable," we would say, "You said you'd get that email to me by 11, and I still don't have it yet."

好比說，與其說：「你不可靠」，我們會說「你說過 11 點前你會將郵件寄給我，但我到現在都還沒收到。」

Specificity is also important when it comes to positive feedback, and the reason for that is that we want to be able to specify exactly what we want the other person to increase or diminish.

具體性在給予正向回饋時也是非常重要的，原因在於我們能夠明確表達希望他人改善或調整的地方。

And if we stick with blur words, they actually won't have any clue particularly what to do going forward to keep repeating that behavior.

如果我們繼續使用模糊字眼，他們不會知道到底應該怎麼做，因此不斷重複相同的行為。

The third part of the feedback formula is the impact statement.

第三步驟是「受影響的陳述」。

Here, you name exactly how that data point impacted you.

你具體指出你是如何受資訊點影響的。

So, for example, I might say: "Because I didn't get the message, I was blocked on my work and couldn't move forward" or "I really liked how you added those stories, because it helped me grasp the concepts faster."

好比說，我會說：「因為我沒有接收到訊息，我的工作受到阻礙因此無法有進度」或者「我很喜歡你加上那些故事，幫助我更快速地掌握到概念。」

It gives you a sense of purpose and meaning and logic between the points, which is something the brain really craves.

這樣的陳述給予你資訊點之間的目的性、含義還有邏輯，而這些都是大腦相當需要的。

The fourth part of the feedback formula is a question.

第四步驟是「提問」。

Great feedback givers wrap their feedback message with a question.

好的回饋者會用一個提問來結束他們的回饋。

They'll ask something like, "Well, how do you see it?"

他們會問類似於「那你的想法呢？」的問題。

Or "This is what I'm thinking we should do, but what are your thoughts on it?"

或者「我認為這就是我們應該做的是，但你的想法是什麼呢？」

What it does is it creates commitment rather than just compliance.

這樣的提問營造出認同感而不是單純順從。

It makes the conversation no longer be a monologue, but rather becomes a joint problem-solving situation.

這讓對話不再只是單向的，而是成為一個合作解決問題的狀態。

But there's one last thing.

但最後有一件事情。

Great feedback givers not only can say messages well, but also, they ask for feedback regularly.

好的回饋者不單單是表達得很好，他們也很常要求他人給予他們回饋。

In fact, our research on perceived leadership shows that you shouldn't wait for feedback to be given to you, what we call push feedback, but rather, you should actively ask for feedback, what we call pulling feedback.

事實上，我們對於這些出色領導者的研究指出，你不應該等待被給予回饋，我們稱此為「被動回饋」，應該要主動要求給予回饋，而我們稱之為「主動回饋」。

Pulling feedback establishes you as a continual learner and puts the power in your hands.

主動回饋將你自己建立成一位持續學習者並將能力握在手中。

The most challenging situations are actually the ones that call for the most skillful feedback.

最具挑戰性的情況其實是當人家要求被給予很熟練的回饋時。

But it doesn't have to be hard.

但這並不難。

Now that you know this four-part formula, you can mix and match it to make it work for any difficult conversation.

現在你知道這四個步驟了，你可以混搭這些方法幫助你解決任何對話難題。