Name: Exo "媽媽" (Exo "Mama")
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T04:51:01.000Z
Duration: 13 min 7 s

This week's Music Monday is the Alien Debut edition with EXO-K's 'Mama'

本週的音樂星期一是「外星人出道」版本

After 10,000 teasers and prologues and singles that aren't really singles but feel like singles. . .

EXO has finally debuted with their first single, which I actually consider their third single.

I get it. SM was trying not only to build up hype for their new band,

but also tell mini-stories that lead up to their debut video.

Which is a pretty bad-ass explanation of EXO's roots.

我明白了  SM不單想炒作他們的新樂團

EXO are not actually boys but 12 forces which protect a tree.

還想講述音樂錄像中的故事的迷利前傳

From what?. . . I don't understand what it is.

My guess? Intergalactic lumberjacks or a hoard of hungry space beavers.

Except, that doesn't sound as impressive when I say it.

Where's Morgan Freeman's voice when you need it?

[Morgan Freeman impression] "And thus, came the penguins, walking."

"And I make this sound interesting when it really isn't."

And these 12 forces have taken on the shape of young, slim, good-looking Korean boys!

Which, when they're not protecting Tree of Life on their free time,

只是從我口中說出來沒那麼吸引

join together in union to practice singing and dancing.

當你需要摩根‧弗里曼的聲音時

I get it! Bet it'd be hella boring to just stand around and protect a tree all day!

It's like, "Look!! I've got the power to create a fire eagle!"

[模仿摩根‧弗里曼]「因此, 一群企鵝步行過來」

"But I should just stand around and protect the tree!"

「我令本來無聊的事聽起來有趣」

"Hey guys! Look! Look at my fire eagle! Look! Look! LOOK!"

"Oh shiii* almost burned down the tree. Gotta go"

[godly boom voice] You twelve are banish-ed to Earth for almost burning down Tree of Life

[GBV] Accept your punishment with more dignity than that you whimpering Korean boy!

Okay! So Before we go any further into this video about EXO's mythology,

我明白的! 想也知道整天站在樹旁

we've got to point out something that's REALLY been nagging us.

I NOW understand why Super Junior has had such lackluster videos lately.

In which they just dress well and dance in oddly lit rooms over and over again.

「但我應只站在這裏保護那棵樹!」

It SEEMS that SM has been saving all of their money for EXO,

「喂! 看! 看我的火鳥! 看! 看! 看!」

and have been neglecting Super Junior as a result.

「噢! 幹! 差點把樹給燒掉了! 快跑!」

[上帝般的響亮嗓音]你們十二個因為差點燒掉生命之樹

Super Junior is already well-established with a HUGE fanbase

that will blindly love everything Super Junior does no matter what it is.

So SM knows that they don't have to spend a lot of effort with Super Junior.

[響亮嗓音]表現出你的尊嚴來接受懲罰吧!

But, I still personally feel that SM should have spent a LITTLE bit of that budget from

EXO's 25 teasers and 3 music videos, on just beefing up Super Junior's videos a little bit.

"Ok guys! Listen up. Heechul! Pay attention. Shindong, hey."

"Um, for todays' music video we're gonna have you guys in an oddly-lit room, um, and we're gonna get- oh!-

我要指出一件纏繞我們很久的事

we're gonna get the slo-mo camera! Ooo, sparkly! Slo-mo camera! Great!"

"What? We already did that for our last music video aaand, we already used the slow motion camera a lot."

他們在裏面多次只是穿得漂漂亮亮

[scary demon voice! D:] "I will beat you by the SOLES of your feet so that NOBODY can see the bruises."

"That's right. Okay everyone! Costume, places!"

We totally LOVED this song! This really brings SM back to the music that we really love from them.

Not electro, club, rap mash-ups, but instead, something EPIC!

Exo的25個預告片和3個音樂錄像的

With the semi-Latin chanting in the background!

Though Simon still likes the SONG, he's still really enamored by E-X-O's first single,

「呃, 今天的音樂錄像中, 你們要在

or their debut-debut, their prologue-prologue-prologue. . .

燈火通明的房間中, 而且還有─噢!─

And still, 'rippido, flippido, super slow-motion' loses his pants on a daily basis.

還有慢鏡! 噢! 閃耀的慢鏡! 棒!」

[Simon background performance] Iiii lost my miiiiind!!!

「甚麼? 我們在上一個音樂錄像

As for me, my rock roots can't help but alert me to the striking similarities this song has to Led Zeppelin's 'Cashmere'

or Puff Daddy's 'Come with Me' featuring Jimmy Page.

I mean, it's DIFFERENT, but it's pretty SIMILAR, but I'm not saying I don't like the song.

I'm just saying that my rock roots alerted me.

But, perhaps that's just because I'm old.

And DYING. Dying of oldness, and dying for

[可怕的魔鬼聲音! D:]「我會瞄?你的腳跟來打

Now, as we were saying before in our understanding of their mythology,

EXO used to be 12 forces that protected Tree of Life.

「這就對了! 好! 所有人! 服裝, 就位!」

But, being young boys, they obviously fooled around with their super powers

until they almost burned down Tree of Life.

So, their MAMA kicked them off their planet, onto the parallel universe,

At first, when EXO arrives on Earth, SOME people don't really care about MAMA's warning.

While OTHERS, have taken MAMA's scolding to heart.

He looks the most depressed to be off of Planet EXO.

He's all, like, sulking in the middle of the desert,

making angry tornadoes and catching butterflies for Skyrim.

At least, I hope he's the one who's responsible for that tornado,

and not just some random dude about to be mowed down by a class six while he runs around chasing butterflies.

現在「rippido-fippid super slow motion」

Otherwiseůyour lack of any spider senses

[Simon幕後演出]我我我~瘋瘋瘋~了!!!

Meanwhile, the other fire Exotics and transportation Exotics are still fooling around with their powers very irresponsibly.

至於我呢, 我的搖滾根基不斷提醒我

Ugh! Can you stop fooling around with your stupid Death Eater transportation powers?!

This is what got us kicked off the planet in the first place!!!

Ugh! What kind of lame power doesn't(?) teleport 3 feet? That's so dumb!

I can transport more than 3 feet you know!

但我又不是說我不喜歡這首歌...

我只是想說我的搖滾思維提醒了我...

快要因為viva puff而死 [你指曲奇?]