Thing is kerosene from the C M A Awards in 2005.

Theo, it was you know, one of those things were everybody kind of knew when my team like this could set you up for the rest of your country music life like I needed to nail it.

I really needed to nail it.

My whole family flew into New York City for that because it was such a big moment in my career.

I was terrified.

I mean, really hadn't been on television.

Besides, National Star hadn't performed on award show ever, and not to mention the whole audience.

Half the audience is country music heroes of mine, so I was definitely very intimidating in Madison Square Garden.

Me.

How many more things can you stack on that to make it so nerve racking theme?

Nervous performing on television?

But I just try to think of it as just go do what I do.

I do one thing, and when I get all freaked out about what it is or who the audience is, I just pretend that I'm upon a stage that Billy Bob's and doing what I do, and it does calm me down.

We didn't have anyone that played harmonica when I cut that song, and we knew we had to do it live.

So I've had a player learned how to play harmonica.

That's what you do when you have a small budget in a small van.

Everybody plays everything, not with some intense, intense pyro.

I didn't plan on stomping around, but I couldn't see my band and I didn't have a guitar.

So I was like, I guess I'll just rock out.

There was a wall of fire between me and my band.

So I was like, I'm just gonna dance like a crazy person.

See if that works and it did.

I knew I got it right when I called my mom because she's really honest.

She judges my musical actual judges my jeans, and she's not afraid to tell me He set my face, shook me like a rag doll.

Don't that sound like a real man?

I'm gonna show you what little girls are made of.

Gunpowder and lead.

My parents, um, started taking in women that were victims of domestic violence when I was a young girl and Pipe 12 and they were private investigators, also my whole life, so I'd saw I've seen a lot.

I mean, grew up really sheltered, going to church every Sunday and cookies after school, but I also was exposed to quite a bit of real life.

You know, it's very heavy to come home from school and see one of your friends.

Mom's at the table crying and my mom to say they're going to stay with us for a little while and it's a very real problem, and especially in the small town in the Bible Belt, it's a little bit shocking because you sort of live in Mayberry and remind you in this school and church every Sunday and Wednesday.

And then all of a sudden, a bombshell like this is happening right down the road.

A lot of my friend Heather, she was a victim of domestic violence herself, and she came through a lot in her life, and so rotten it with her was obviously like 17.

But I feel like I knew a lot more than a 17 year old about it at the time.

Whether or not started it her house and we didn't finish it because we were getting there with it.

But we know what needed to be said, like in a certain way, because it was such a sensitive subject.

My dad was also a police officer, so I grew up around guns and always knew about guns save because I live with a cop or not turned 17.

I went to get my concealed handgun lessons because in Texas, you can carry So when they were like, take it all the guns apart and reading all the parts of study invaded memorize every part of a gun.

I was like, it kind of hit me like I'm 17 years old.

Here is my dad learning gun safety And just like two days ago, was writing this song with Heather and it all kind of came together in my mind because, you know, you hear little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice, but not where I come from.

And women come to me a lot and tell me how that song save your life and gave them courage to get out.

You know, I feel like that was the point of it and to draw attention to something that's very real well, awards or something in my household.

Like with the CM A's and a C M's, we would watch religiously like I would always have my little yellow legal pad and my pen and write down a little minis and would try to guess who I think would win.

I mean, I'm like a die hard country fan from forever, so I took it very seriously as a kid.

So the fact that I was even Oh, I mean, I set a goal when I was probably 16 when one day I wanna win, See my female vocalist of the year.

The fact that I was even at the CMAs and that actually one in the person handing it to me was my hero was like one of those things that doesn't seem real in the moment.

The Ritalin is is a country music legend.

She opened so many doors for all kind of for every artist, not just female artist, but especially female artists, because she was singing and writing about things that weren't necessarily appropriate at the time.

Like, for instance, her song The Pill talking about birth control.

That was kind of like not acceptable to, like, speak about and she just weird song about it.

And it's one of her biggest hits of this day.

So I'm just thankful that she was brave, because now I could be brave.

You get butterflies and excited waiting to hear of your names called.

But being there in general and being nominated a category means that your peers appreciate what you're doing is like validates all of your hard work and all the miles on the road and all the sleepless nights and just it's a lot of sacrifice, So having your peers recognize you for that is the award itself.

Actually, that was one of those nights that I was floating for a really long time.

E was in a space at the time where I was getting pigeonholed a little bit for songs like Gunpowder, Lead and Kerosene and I'd been called Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

A lot of my sort of fiery revenge songs were carrying my career at the time, and I was worried about it because I'm also a sensitive singer songwriter and I wanted to make sure that I had a balance and How's that built me came along, and the first time I heard it just it floored me the house where you kind of find yourself and you can't go from being a child with all the wonder and dreams in your eyes and then sort of being a teenager and knowing about real life a little bit more.

It's those formative years that start to shape you as a human.

I think the place that you spent those years and memories doesn't ever leave you.

And so those two riders captured Alan and Tom captured that exact emotion in such a beautiful way, so thankful I got my hands on it because it's a career maker for me at the thing that's special about that song is that it feels like it's everybody's story on definitely was gone.

So it's been one of the most important thing in my career.

I think the line that means most to me is like my handprints on the concrete.

And, uh, my favorite dog is buried in the yard because that's like very real to me, under the tree with the tire swing.

You know, it's the little details of this song, literally put my hands in the concrete of the house my dad built, so I just was like, How did they know they knew everything?

And I think that some lab people cry every night.

I cry about once every three weekends to him and you'll catch somebody's.

I just know that it's moving them.

So much can help it.

This'd music video for Mama's Broken Heart 2013 Mama's Broken Heart is basically about a Southern bill who has a terrible break up, and her mom is one to sweep it under the rug and act like it's not a big deal.

And this girl is just going batshit trade.

Vanja.

We did my very first video.

It's just me and Charlie talking, and I've never done a video.

I'm still terrified of cameras, and so I actually walked off to sit.

I was like, I'm not cut out for video is not doing this.

I just wanna be a country singer.

I don't want to do all of this lovely stuff, and Trey just made me feel so comfortable, like she brought me.

She came out.

Dad taught me off the ledge and you know, so she from the very first time I ever said it in front of a camera was sort of their toe.

Direct me and call me down and make me feel comfortable, you know?

And she still does that.

To this day.

I'm usually jeans and T shirt kind of gal, but when it comes to like really creating a video for specific lyrics and a certain feel out, I'll push the boundaries.

We found this house in L.

A.

That was like like the house actually looks like that hasn't changed.

It's like I don't know, 1962 and it's just it was beautiful and it was perfect for the setting line in a bathroom in a house, in a blue dress and smoking cigarettes.

And I think that just represented and absolute hotness and try handle out my cigarette because I was a smoker.

I'm better at it now, but I don't smoke still, but I did practice a few times.

Trey usually comes with the treatment, and I sort of I really don't ever have to tweak it.

A TTE this point with her.

She kind of knows me and what I'm willing to do.

And but also and willing to push boundaries with her because I trust her.

I mean, when she said Really all you have to do with that crazy I was like, Oh, I got that all day long So I just acted like myself.

This'd is got my name changed back on the pistol Annies Good morning, America 2018 Performing this Lenny's my band that I'm obsessed with.

And I hadn't done morning TV and probably like six years before that, because I'm kind of a mano and I ended up meeting my husband.

So I'm glad I got up early that day.

Hey, thanks.

Guys were listening to my going on and on about myself.