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  • - So, how to have unshakeable confidence

  • when speaking to a group of people.

  • The very first lesson I want to share

  • with you is this,

  • write it down.

  • All speaking is public speaking.

  • All speaking is public speaking.

  • The first thing you have to get out

  • of your head is,

  • oh, if I'm speaking to a group of people,

  • five people, ten people,

  • I should be very different versus speaking to one-on-one.

  • - Right. - No.

  • If speaking on one-on-one,

  • that is public speaking.

  • Okay, you're speaking to a group of two,

  • that is public speaking.

  • You speak to a group of 100, 1,000,

  • that is public speaking.

  • It is the same.

  • So in your mind, why you get nervous,

  • 'cause in your mind you have this,

  • kind of this idea,

  • oh, I speak a certain way if I'm one-on-one,

  • but the minute I'm on stage,

  • oh I need to be like completely totally different.

  • That is simply not true.

  • So, all speaking is public speaking.

  • So let's talk about secret number one.

  • And that is this,

  • a speaker is made and is not born.

  • Say it with me.

  • A speaker is made and is not born.

  • Because you may think,

  • Well you know, SFU some people they are naturally born,

  • they have a lot of confidence

  • and their naturally charismatic

  • and their naturally very good on stage.

  • There are some people that you may perceive

  • that that's who they are,

  • that's what they're like,

  • they are always this confident.

  • - I think when you met me,

  • I'm fairly extroverted,

  • - Extroverted, yep.

  • - But I remember when the first few times,

  • I think about 6 months worth of you being on stage,

  • - The first 6 months, about the first 6 months.

  • - You know, see who put me up on stage,

  • 6 times, maybe 8 times.

  • You know, once per month,

  • - Yeah - every month

  • - Yeah - and I was terrified

  • each time.

  • - So guests, it's very good, one-on-one.

  • - Yes

  • _ To him, that's no problem,

  • he can do it all day and it's no problem.

  • But somehow when you're in front of people,

  • - Yes - Right.

  • 'cause in your mind you think that's different.

  • - Or I would get up there and I would ramble,

  • - Yes - I would pace,

  • I did all,

  • - (laughs)

  • - I'd try to tell bad jokes.

  • - Bad jokes, yes.

  • - I would, - No one laughs.

  • - No one, yeah, no

  • - How many ever told bad jokes and no one laughs on stage?

  • - Right, you thought it's funny

  • but no one thought it's funny.

  • - Yeah - Yes

  • - And I did all the classic mistakes,

  • - Yes - then you showed me,

  • - How to do this. - You broke it down.

  • - That's right.

  • - So, pay attention.

  • He's gonna show you just a fraction of those

  • and if you can apply,

  • you will do well. - And let me,

  • let's prove that to you, okay?

  • So you see SFU presenting today,

  • TEDx, right?

  • - Yes

  • - Speaking to thousands of people.

  • Australia, were going to November

  • - Startcon.

  • - Were going to Startcon, 4 thousand entrepreneurs.

  • - Yes. - Right,

  • I'll be one of the keynote speakers

  • along side with some amazing, - Yes.

  • - Amazing CO's entrepreneurs, right.

  • - And it's being negotiated where you're one

  • of the main panelists deciding the million dollar winner.

  • - Yeah, I'm also going to be investing some money.

  • Like taking on, like, looking at what,

  • kind of like a "Shark Tank" kind of sale.

  • - Yes. - He will pitch us a deal,

  • and I will see if I want to invest.

  • So, let me prove to you.

  • This is SFU today, right?

  • This is SFU many many years ago.

  • So I want you to take a look at the picture.

  • There was SFU back in Toatmasters,

  • when I was probably,

  • I don't know,

  • 20 years old, 20 something years old.

  • Many many years ago. - Wow.

  • - So I want you to look at the picture

  • and tell me about this man.

  • Tell me about this young man.

  • How would he see?

  • Just describe.

  • - Glasses. - Glasses.

  • - Studious.

  • - Studious.

  • - A nerd, spiky hair

  • - Nervous, that's right.

  • You can tell he's a little nervous.

  • What else? - Insecure, yeah.

  • - Shy, you can see like,

  • you know you can see the shy.

  • Not confident, right,

  • not 100% confident, that's correct.

  • He need a makeover, yes.

  • - He's super young and unexperienced.

  • - Super young and unexperienced, right, hesitant.

  • The smile is more to cover up the nervousness, right.

  • - He hasn't met Jenny yet.

  • - That's right - (Laughs)

  • - That's right.

  • So what I'm saying is this,

  • you can see that's where SFU came from.

  • So I know for a fact,

  • a speaker is made not born.

  • So the speaker that you see today,

  • the communicator you see me today,

  • presenting or teaching to millions around the world,

  • guess what?

  • I learned how to do this.

  • It is not natural,

  • it is not natural born skill,

  • everything that I do, the skills that I have,

  • I developed it, I honed the skill and I learned it.

  • I learn it, one at a time.

  • So, don't be giving me an excuse.

  • Oh SFU, I'm not good looking,

  • I'm not naturally charismatic, I'm not this,

  • I speak with an accent, and all of this.

  • I don't even want to here any of those fucking excuses.

  • None.

  • Because if I could go from that,

  • what you see, to this,

  • at least you can improve, yes?

  • That's what I came from.

  • So from there, when I joined Toastmasters,

  • then later on, now first, you have to understand,

  • when I joined Toastmasters,

  • my goal was never to be a speaker.

  • My goal was very simple,

  • my goal was simply to improve my English.

  • That was it.

  • 'cause I was shy, I was nervous,

  • and I thought maybe joining Toastmasters,

  • and in case you don't know what Toastmasters is,

  • it's a nonprofit speaking kind of club.

  • Right, you'd go in,

  • you would practice in front of people

  • and they would give you feedback.

  • And I joined Toastmasters because I wanted

  • to improve my English.

  • Reduce my accent just by a little bit,

  • that was it.

  • That was my goal.

  • Right.

  • So after I joined Toastmasters,

  • I was practicing, and practicing, and practicing,

  • and I was showing up.

  • What's the word?

  • Showing up every single week.

  • Every single week I would do something.

  • Every single week I would present, I would do a speech,

  • I would volunteer, I would do something.

  • After about 3 to 6 months of that,

  • in Toastmasters, they always give you

  • these little forms, kind of feedback form.

  • After you do a speech, people could give

  • you a little bit of feedback.

  • - Yes - Right.

  • And they would say, so at first couple months,

  • Oh yeah, you could improve on this,

  • and maybe you should do this,

  • you should speak a little louder

  • or you should speak a little slower.

  • Whatever it is, right.

  • Then view your feedback.

  • After about, I don't know, 5 or 6 months or so,

  • people started giving me feedback. Listen to this.

  • They would say, "Oh, great job."

  • The feedback got shorter and shorter.

  • "Outstanding."

  • "You're a natural."

  • Give me a fucking break,

  • there's nothing natural about what you see there, right.

  • But, you're a natural.

  • I'm like, there's nothing natural about what I do at all.

  • If anything, it's very very unnatural

  • and I force it, I make it natural.

  • Right. And from there, people thought,

  • Oh, you know, maybe you've got something.

  • I remember there was the president

  • of the club back then running Toastmasters.

  • - Yes.

  • - He said to me, "You know Dan, you got,

  • there's something about you, you got a..."

  • He calls it an x-factor.

  • "There's something about you that on stage,

  • even though your English is not the best,

  • and your deliverance is not the best,

  • but there's something about the way you communicate.

  • That people resonates with you, somehow.

  • Maybe because you're not so perfect,

  • maybe because you speak with an accent.

  • I don't know."

  • I said, "Oh, that's interesting."

  • So then from there,

  • I don't know how, I don't know why,

  • but I was studying a lot of the great speakers

  • like Tony Robbins and a lot of great people.

  • Back then, Zig Ziglar,

  • - Yes.

  • - The old days.

  • So, a lot of the speakers,

  • and I thought to myself,

  • wouldn't it be great if someday I could do that?

  • That was it. - Mmm-hmm

  • - I had this thought that if someday I could

  • be on stage, just like them,

  • and I could talk to people, I could inspire people,

  • wouldn't that be awesome?

  • That was just, just kind of like when you were a kid.

  • - A dream

  • - Like a thought, wouldn't it be nice.

  • He's like, I saw that Cyote nicely around that car.

  • - Right.

  • - Or you see something on a magazine.

  • Wouldn't it be nice if I could go there for vacation.

  • And that was it.

  • Right, because I was listening

  • to these motivational tapes.

  • - Yes.

  • - Cassette tapes by the way.

  • - Yes.

  • - cassette tapes back then,

  • I know a lot of young people like,

  • SFU what is cassette tape man.

  • Not CD, before CD, like,

  • - [Side Speaker] Cassette tape.

  • - [Main Speaker] I had that thought.

  • And because of,

  • as I was learning about different high income skills,

  • and I was already very entrepreneurial, so even those,

  • a lot of entrepreneur activities I was doing, copywriting,

  • - It was on computer.