I know a lot of you come to these tapings with your friends.

我知道你們很多人都是跟朋友來我們錄製現場。

It's so adorable. You so cute.

超可愛的，你們超可愛。

Just by looking around, I can also tell that some of you have that friend that you wish was your permanently-naked friend.

到處看看我就知道，有些人有個你希望是你的「永久裸友」。

Yeah, that's right.

對，沒錯。

Which is why tonight we're talking about the friend zone!

這也是為什麼我們今天要來聊聊好人卡！

These two know what I'm talking about.

這兩個人知道我在說什麼。

You know what I'm talking about.

你們知道我在說什麼。

Yeah, laugh awkwardly.

好，尷尬地笑吧。

Okay.

好。

Now, if you don't know, the friend zone is when you're told someone would be lucky to date you.

以免你不知道，發好人卡就是，當有人告訴你能和你交往的人應該很幸運。

By the person who will never date you.

但告訴你的人卻永遠不會想和你交往。

The friend zone is that awkward limbo between dating and not dating.

好人區就是介於交往和沒交往之間的模糊地帶。

And the whole time you're like "This isn't great."

然後你會一直覺得：「這樣不妙。」

"How did I get here? And why can't I leave?"

「我是怎麼變成這個情況的？我怎麼走不開？」

It's like Forever 21.

就像在 Forever 21 店裡。

It's like going to a job interview and being told you have all the qualifications for the job...

就像去面試一份工作，然後被告知自己符合那份工作所有資格條件...

... but they're going in a different direction.

但是公司想要嘗試不同方向。

And if you don't know you're in the friend zone, I'll tell you how you can know, okay?

如果你不知道自己是不是被發好人卡了，我來告訴你怎麼分辨，好嗎？

If you're making a pact to get married if you're still single at 40, you in the friend zone.

如果你們約定 40 歲的時候都還單身就要結婚，你就是被發好人卡了。

And you're gonna drink way too much at his wedding, girl.

然後你就會在他的婚禮上喝酒喝到爆。

Wait. Where did the term "friend zone" even come from?

等一下，「好人卡」這個用詞到底是哪來的？

I heard it started with Ross and Rachel's relationship on Friends.

我聽說是源自影劇《六人行》裡 Ross 與 Rachel 的關係。

You know what I'm talking about, right?

你們都懂我，對吧？

But I think it goes back even further, to the Trojan War.

但我覺得要追溯到更久以前，直到特洛伊戰爭。

Right around the time Helen of Troy told King of Sparta: "Hey, I think we're just better as friends."

差不多是當特洛伊的海倫告訴斯巴達國王：「嘿，我覺得我們當朋友比較好。」

"Also, what's up with the giant wooden horse?"

「還有，那個超大木馬是怎麼一回事？」

Hey, you watch this show to laugh, but sometimes you're going to learn.

欸，你看我的節目只是想笑一笑，但有的時候你還是得學習。

Okay? Deal with it!

好嗎？接受吧！

Like, check this out.

你們聽聽。

This recent study revealed men are consistently overestimating women's attraction to them.

近期一項研究指出，男性一直會高估自己對女性的吸引力。

While women—I know shocker!

而女性... 我知道，好驚訝喔。

While women are consistently underestimating their guy friends' feelings.

而女性則會一直低估男性友人對自己的感情。

So basically women are humble and men are just Drake.

所以基本上，女性很謙虛，而男性就像 Drake 一樣。

I mean, seriously.

我是認真的。

Serena, Rihanna, Nicki Minaj.

Serena、Rihanna、Nicki Minaj。

Drake has gotten sidelined harder than Lonzo Ball with the Lakers.

Drake 坐在場邊的次數比湖人隊的 Lonzo Ball 還多。

You know what I'm talking about?

你們知道我在說什麼嗎？

Well, there are perks to being in the friend zone.

被發好人卡還是有一些好處。

I mean, you get a friend!

我是說，你得到一個好朋友。

That's someone who can teach you how to talk to women, how to listen to women.

他可以教你怎麼跟女生講話、怎麼聽女生說話。

And, more importantly, how to make women think that you're listening.

還有最重要的，怎麼讓女生覺得你確實有在聽。

It's very important. Okay?

非常重要，好嗎？

Besides, once you've been in the friend zone, you can't unsee what you've seen.

除此之外，你一旦被發了好人卡，你所看見的事是沒辦法抹滅的。

Think about it.

想想看。

If you watched Amanda scream at a delivery man, cry during The Notebook, and steal toilet paper from a restaurant, would you still want to date her?

如果你看到《手札情緣》裡的 Amanda 對著郵差尖叫、大哭還偷餐廳的衛生紙，你還會想跟她交往嗎？

Me. I'm Amanda. I'm that girl.

我，我就是 Amanda，我就是那樣。

No look, there's a part of me that thinks the whole "friend zone" thing is a myth.

其實呢，我有點覺得「好人卡」這個東西只是一個迷思。

The friend zone is like a strip club.

好人區就跟脫衣舞俱樂部一樣。

A dark place invented by men for men so they can pretend that women who don't want them do.

是男性為男性發明出的一個黑暗地帶，他們這樣就可以假裝不喜歡自己的女性喜歡自己。

You liked that, didn't you?

你就喜歡那樣，對不對？

Hashtag relatable.

#感同身受。

Now, let me tell you a secret.

那我來告訴你一個秘密。

All the guys here, can I get a show of hands?

這裡的男生可以舉個手嗎？

Raise your hand if you're a guy. Cheer real quickly. Cheer.

是男生的舉個手。快點歡呼一下，歡呼。

You noticed the testosterone when I said, "Cheer."

可以注意到這些歡呼充滿男性荷爾蒙。

Let me tell you a little secret.

我來說個小秘密。

If you want to get out of the friend zone, just get into a relationship.

如果你不想再被發好人卡，找別人交往就對了。

Because women always want what they can't have—it's true!

因為女生都想要她們得不到的東西，真的。

It's like, growing up, I always wanted a talk show, but I couldn't get one, so I started going out with YouTube and suddenly NBC was like, "Damn, she's fine as hell!"

就像是，我從小到大都想要一個脫口秀但都得不到，所以我就開始和 YouTube 來往，突然 NBC 電視台就發現：「天啊！她辣翻了！」

But if you're in the friend zone, you should probably just get comfortable in there, because transitioning out of the friend zone is sort of like hosting the Oscars.

不過如果你一直被發好人卡，你可能就要接受、習慣一點，因為轉出好人區就像主持奧斯卡獎一樣。

You have to wait to be asked, which could never happen.

你得等著被邀請，而這永遠不可能發生。

But if it does, it could all go away when they find your old tweets.

但就算真的發生了，他們看到你以前的貼文就又會回到原點。

For me, the friend zone's gotten even more confusing since I started dating girls, okay?

對我來說，開始和女生交往後，好人卡變得更讓人混亂了，懂嗎？

I've always been really into the sisterhood, but sometimes I'll meet a girl I want to date and accidentally call her "sis."

我一直都很喜歡「姊妹情誼」這種東西，但有時候我會遇到想交往的女生，但不小心叫她「姊妹」。

Once that happens, I've permanently quarantined myself in the friend zone.

一旦我那樣子叫她，就永遠把自己關在好人區了。

It's like a receding hairline.

就像是往後退的髮線。

As soon as it starts, there's no turning back.

開始後就回不去了。

Sorry, LeBron.

抱歉了，LeBron。

I'm from Toronto. Go, Rapts.

我是多倫多人，暴龍隊加油！

You're probably thinking, "No way, Lilly."

你可能想說：「不可能啦，Lily。」

"You're too smart, beautiful, and humble to be put in the friend zone."

「你這麼聰明、美麗又謙虛，怎麼可能被發好人卡？」

And thank you. You have a great judge of character.

謝謝，你們很會評斷我的特質。

Thank you.

謝謝。

But believe it or not, I've had plenty of guys friend-zone me.

但信不信由你，我從很多男生那裡收過好人卡。

I know. They're crazy.

我知道，他們都瘋了。

Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I get invited over to watch a movie...

說真的，我都數不清到底有幾次，有人邀請我去他家看電影...

... and we actually watch the whole movie.

然後我們真的看完了整部電影。

I'm like, "Dude, I do not care what happens to Charlie and his stupid factory."

我就想說「老兄，我不在乎查理和他的巧克力冒險爛工廠怎麼了。」

"I'm trying to get you to find my golden ticket. Okay?"

「我是要你找到我的金獎券，好嗎？」

You know what I mean?

懂我意思嗎？

The thirst is real!

真的很飢渴。