Go to Google and look up the history, what the hell!

去 Google 然後查歷史紀錄，搞什麼啊！

Alright.

好。

Hey, you're sweating a lot over here.

嘿，你在大流汗呢！

I am sweating.

我是在大流汗沒錯。

Hi mom.

嗨媽。

Hi daughter.

嗨女兒。

We're about to go into my search history so Adam can see things about me that he might not know.

我們準備要去我的搜尋記錄，讓 Adam 能夠看到一些他或許不知道的有關於我的事。

I'm gonna take this opportunity and I'm just gonna go with it.

我要利用這個機會，順其自然。

Read anything, I don't care.

我不在乎，隨便你看吧。

Um, this is not that exciting, dad, you Google some pretty weird shit here.

嗯，這一點都不刺激啊，老爸，你 Google 一些很奇怪的東西。

Hair salons near me.

離我最近的髮廊。

Elbow clicks when I benchpress.

當我仰臥推舉時手肘發出聲音。

When you get to a certain age, your joints start to click.

當你到了某一個年紀，你的關節開始會發出聲音。

It's just normal for people my age.

對我這個年紀的人來說很正常。

How to keep calm.

如何保持冷靜。

Map of USA.

美國地圖。

Are you running away?

妳想要逃跑？

Yes, I'm trying.

對啊，我試著要。

Take me with you!

帶上我！

I'm looking at... I see a handbag!

我看到...我看到一個手提包！

Oh, that.

喔，那個。

Wow, a $2,000 handbag.

哇，一個 2 千美元的手提包。

But, we're just looking at it, we weren't doing anything with it.

但我們只是看看，我們並沒有要買或什麼的。

Cute though, right?

很好看對嗎？

And red.

還是紅色的。

You were watching some Netflix?

你在看 Netflix？

Were you chilling?

你在放鬆嗎？

I was, yeah.

是啊。

Interesting.

真有趣。

Sex hair for you?

性感髮型？

Oh.

哦。

What?

什麼？

Sexy hairstyles to impress your husband.

能夠吸引你老公的性感髮型。

How long can a cat last in a 90 degree house?

一隻貓在室溫 90 度的房子裡能存活多久？？

I was workin' on a new look.

我正為了新造型努力。

Mom!

媽！

I'm workin' on a new look.

我要改頭換面。

Oh my God!

噢我的天啊！

Roland, I'm workin' on a new look honey, hello.

Roland 親愛的，我要改變一個新造型，好嗎。

Have you... oh my God!

妳有... 噢我的天啊！

Our AC went out during the 114 degree heat wave.

我們的空調在 114 度的熱浪中壞掉了。

Just the way you worded it was so...

你說的方式實在很...

And I was really worried that the cat might not survive.

我實在很擔心貓無法活下去。

It says "how long can it last".

這裡說「牠可以撐多久。」

Well, how long can a cat last?

那麼，貓能夠撐多久呢？

Anything else you'd like to know?

還有什麼其他你想知道的嗎？

Great, great.

很好，很好。

Lingerie.

內衣。

I wanted to know!

我想知道。

I wanted to know, I wanted to know.

我想知道，我想知道。

Don't judge me.

不要評斷我。

I mean, you'd better be glad I am still sexy, hello!

我是說，你應該感到開心我還是這麼性感好嗎！

Just as I suspected, your search history is just as boring as you are.

和我想的一樣，你的搜尋記錄和你一樣無聊。

Uh.

呃。

I'm boring, I'm a nerd, what do you want from me?

我很無聊，我是一個書呆子，你想要我怎麼樣？

Get the best body of your life.

獲得一生中最棒的身材。

New $1 trial for thirty Days.

全新一美元 30 天試用版。

Oh look, there's a body builder.

哦你看，有一個健身教練。

Let's get fit together.

我們一起健身吧！

Weed clinics?

大麻藥房？

What?

什麼？

Wait, what is this?

等等，這是什麼？

Wait, what?

等等，什麼？

Weed maps?

大麻地圖？

Oh, wow.

哦，哇。

Oh my god!

我的天啊！

Wow, wow, wow, wow.

哇，哇，哇，哇。

Wait, first of all...

等等，首先...

And you were just getting on me.

你引起我的興趣了。

First of all... let me explain!

首先...讓我解釋！

You were at weed maps?

妳在看大麻地圖？

Oh my god.

哦我的老天啊。

Explain!

解釋一下！

How to murder your wife, it has nothing to do...

如何謀殺你的老婆，這沒有任何關係...

It's called "how to murder your wife"?!

叫做「如何謀殺你的老婆」？！

It has noth... it's with Jack Lemmon.

這沒有...這是 Jack Lemmon。

What are you watching!

你在看什麼！

Jack Lemmon stars in this movie.

Jack Lemmon 主演這部片。

How To Murder Your Wife is what you're watching?

你在看如何謀殺你老婆？

Does mom know about this? - Okay, okay, okay.

老媽知道這件事嗎？好，好，好。

I didn't even download that on purpose.

我根本不是故意要下載的。

It's not a download, you searched it.

這不是下載，你查詢它。

Like, you literally typed in 'weedmaps.com'

妳直接打字「weedmaps.com」

I heard it was a new thing,

我聽說這是一個新玩意兒。

I was just trying to figure it out.

我只是想要瞭解一下。

It's a great movie, have you ever seen it?

它是一部好片，你看過嗎？

No, what are you--

沒有，你是在--

It's a movie, How To Murder Your Wife, it's a comedy.

它是部電影，如何謀殺你老婆，它是部喜劇片。

I didn't even search that, my friend searched it,

我根本沒有搜尋那個，是我朋友搜尋的。

you remember Kim from, you know, over there--

你記得 Kim，你知道，她從那裡--

when we--

那時我們--

my friend Kim?

我的朋友 Kim？

(laughing)

(笑聲)

That was Kim.

就是 Kim.

She Googled my stuff.

她用我的手機 Google。

I deleted it of course because I didn't want you

我當然要刪掉因為我不想要你

to get in my phone, - Mm.

看我的手機，嗯

I didn't want nobody to see it.

我不想要任何人看到。

Have you even ever smoked weed before?

妳曾經抽過大麻嗎？

Like...

像是...

You don't have to say all that, okay,

你不用說這些好嗎

in front of these people.

在這些人的面前。

My mother's still my mother.

我媽媽還是我媽媽

Yes, always.

當然，永遠都是。

The search history was fun.

搜尋歷史記錄很有趣。

Luckily that that's over, it'll never happen again,

好險這已經結束了，這永遠不會再發生

you will not be getting my phone.

你以後都不能再看我的手機。

I love him.

我愛他。

I love her.

我愛她。

Yes, he's amazing.

沒錯，他很棒。

Aww!

喔！

(murmuring)

(輕聲低語)

I don't really need Google cause I have him.

我不一定需要 Google 因為我有他。

- I don't really need a history book cause I have him.

我不一定需要歷史書籍因為我有他。