The new coworker starts today.

今天有新同事。

I gotta warn you, she's got really long hair.

警告你們，她有一頭長髮。

I mean, like, scary long.

真的，真的很長。

Uh-oh!

噢喔！

Oh, brother!

噢，天！

Hide!

快躲！

And then we just kiss.

然後我們就接吻。

Grant, no.

Grant，不要！

It doesn't even make sense for us to kiss.

我們接吻一點也不合理啊！

I'm subverting the genre.

我是在推翻這類別的既定印象。

That's why it's funny.

這就是它有趣的地方。

This seems like another pitch that's just an excuse to make out with us.

這感覺只是另一個讓你可以和我們親熱的點子。

No, no, HR talked to me.

才沒有，人資跟我談過。

I'm over that.

我已經過那階段了。

No, this is just a silly idea.

這只是個蠢點子。

Okay, well, what else you got?

好，你還有什麼點子？

Okay, this one is a parody of an old Western movie.

好，這是個老西部電影的滑稽版。

Help, help!

救命，救命！

Oh, won't somebody help?

噢，來人快救我！

No one can save you!

沒人會來救你的！

Now, let's have a final kiss before your demise!

在你迎接死亡之前，來個臨終之吻吧！

No!

不要！

God damn it, Grant, that's the same thing!

天 X 的，Grant，這點子也一樣啊！

And the villain and the dame don't even kiss in those movies.

更別說壞人和女人在那些電影裡才不會親吻。

I'm subverting the genre, that's why it's funny.

我是在推翻既定印象，這就是有趣之處。

Oh, yes, I like that!

噢，讚，我喜歡！

Don't encourage him!

不要鼓勵他！

I think it's funny!

我覺得很有趣啊！

Grant, do you have any ideas that don't involve kissing?

Grant，你有跟親親無關的點子嗎？

Okay.

好吧。

This is a topical sketch, I'm not even in it.

這是個時事短劇，我甚至不在裡面。

-Perfect, awesome. -That's great.

-完美，讚。 -很好。

Kellyanne, the failing New York Times is attacking me again.

Kellyanne，垃圾紐約時報又在攻擊我了。

Sad!

真難過！

I blame Hillary Clinton.

這都要怪希拉蕊。

You're right.

妳說得對。

What do you think, Grant O'Brien?

你覺得呢，Grant O'Brien？

You're so smart.

你好聰明。

Move on her like a bitch.

快攻略她！

I do have a cameo.

但我有客串。

No.

不！

Fine.

好吧！

Here's one where it's impossible for me to kiss.

這段我不可能親任何人。

Man, how are you gonna eat lunch without a mouth?

嘿，你沒嘴巴要怎麼吃午餐？

As a reward for your charity work and handsomeness, I grant you two mouths.

作為你做善事與帥氣容貌的獎勵，我要給你兩張嘴巴。

Good pitch, Katie!

Katie，好點子！

Yes!

耶！

That doesn't even make sense!

這一點也不合理啊！

Fine.

好啦。

How about...

不然...

I'm just not that hungry.

我就是沒那麼餓。

Come on, please?

好嘛，要嗎？

It'll mean a lot of me if you tried a slice.

如果你試吃一片，我會很開心的。

Grant, we made that years ago.

Grant，這好幾年前就拍過了。

Yes, but this time...

是沒錯，但這次...

Whether you like it or not is actually what I'm most curious about.

我很想知道這到底合不合你胃口。

Right, of course.

當然。

I know.

我知道。

Grant, these are all terrible ideas, and you're wasting our time.

Grant，這些點子都糟透了，你在浪費我們的時間。

So we'll make the same, lame observational stuff we always do, is that what you want?

所以我們就繼續做那些無聊、重複的題材，這就是你要的？

Nothing exciting, nothing daring, no risks, just a bunch of boring clickbait.

沒有刺激的、大膽的，也沒有冒險，只有一堆無聊的釣魚式標題。

Whatever.

隨便你們。

Okay, well, except for that, pretty good meeting, guys.

好，除了這個，這會議很成功。

Yeah.

對。

Shall we?

要來一下？

Hey, it's Grant, from CollegeHumor.

嘿，我是 CollegeHumor 的 Grant。

Click here to subscribe to the channel, click here for more fun stuff.

點這來訂閱頻道，點這邊則有更多有趣影片。

Sorry, guys, it feels like I'm out.

抱歉，我感覺我好像出鏡了。

Am I out?

我出鏡了嗎？

'Cause I can, like, see the top of the camera, so it's, is this better?

因為我可以看到攝影機的頂部，這樣有好一點嗎？

Alright, it feels worse.

好吧，感覺更糟了。

Okay, thanks for watching!

隨便吧，謝謝收看！