Shut up!

閉嘴！

[Ian singing] Kite day, kite day. It's a freaking kite day.

風箏日，風箏日。這是一個畸形的風箏日。

Blue kite. Blue, blue, blue, blue kite.

藍色的風箏。藍色，藍色，藍色，藍色的風箏。

What the hell is this?

這到底是什麼？

[Ian's mom] Your grandpa is dying and I don't want to take care of him anymore.

你爺爺快死了，我不想再照顧他了。

[Ian] Come on, mom.

來吧，媽媽

I don't want this old, smelly ass in my house

我不想讓這個老傢伙在我的房子裡發臭。

[Ian's mom] Take him!

帶他走吧！

[Ian] You take him!

你帶著他！

[Ian's mom] You! [Ian] No. You!

你！ - 你！不，你！

[Ian's mom] Not it! [Runs away, laughing]

不是吧![Runs away, laughing]

[Ian] Fine. Run away.

[伊恩]好吧。逃跑。

But I'm not taking you, man.

但我不會帶你走，夥計。

Fine.

好吧

[Anthony] What's this?

這是什麼？

[Ian] It's my stupid grandpa. I gotta take care of this dying ass.

這是我的傻爺爺。我得照顧這個垂死的屁股。

What the hell is this?

這到底是什麼？

[Anthony] Dude, that's a bucket list. All the things he wanted to do before he dies.

老兄，那是一張遺願清單。他死前想做的所有事情。

[Ian] But he didn't finish it.

但他沒有完成它。

[Anthony] You should totally finish it for him.

你完全應該為他完成它。

[Ian] Is that what you want, grandpa?

這是你想要的嗎，爺爺？

[Anthony] All right. So, the first thing on the list is

[安東尼]好吧。那麼，清單上的第一件事是

"Conquer your biggest fear."

"征服你最大的恐懼.&quot。

What's your biggest fear?

你最害怕的是什麼？

[Ian] Aunt Jemima.

[伊恩]傑瑪阿姨

[Anthony] You're afraid of syrup?

你怕糖漿？

[Ian] No, I'm afraid of her.

不，我怕她。

She just sits on that bottle, just smiling at me.

她只是坐在那個瓶子上，只是對我笑。

No matter where I go, I can feel those eyes piercing into my soul.

無論我走到哪裡，都能感覺到那雙眼睛刺入我的靈魂。

[Anthony] So, you're afraid of this?

所以，你害怕這個？

[Anthony] Kiss her! [Ian] Get away from me, Anthony.

吻她！離我遠點，安東尼。

[Anthony] If you want to get over your fear, you have to kiss her!

如果你想克服你的恐懼，你必須吻她！

[Ian] I can't.

我不能

[Anthony] Do it for your grandpa!

為了你的爺爺！

[Ian] No... I don't wanna kiss her!

[伊恩]不...我不想親她!

[Anthony] All right. So, umm. Only 30 more to go.

[安東尼]好吧。那麼，嗯。只剩下30個了。

Next up, we have "steal candy from a little kid."

接下來，我們有"偷小孩子的糖果&quot。

[Ian] Sweet!

真好！

No pun intended.

沒有雙關語的意思。

Give me that!

給我！

[Her dad appears]

[她爸爸出現]

[Anthony] So, how does that cookie taste?

那麼，那塊餅乾的味道如何？

[Ian] Can we just finish the stupid list?

我們能不能把這個愚蠢的名單寫完？

[Ian crying for help] No...

[伊恩呼救] 不... ...

F**k Barbra Streisand!!!

去他媽的芭芭拉-史翠珊！

[Anthony] Alright. So last thing on the list is "eat cat litter."

[安東尼]好吧。所以，最後一件事是"吃貓砂&quot。

[Ian] What?!

什麼？

[Anthony] Yeah! I already got some from the neighbor.

[安東尼]是啊！我已經從鄰居那裡買了一些

Eat up!

吃吧！

[Ian] I finished your stupid bucket list, grandpa.

我完成了你那愚蠢的遺願清單，爺爺。

I hope you're happy.

我希望你'快樂。

[Anthony] Sorry, dude. Looks like we didn't make it in time.

對不起，夥計看來我們沒能及時趕到。

[Ian] It's funny. For this bucket list stuff, I thought my grandpa was a loser.

這很有趣。對於這個遺願清單的東西，我想我爺爺是一個失敗者。

But I guess I just didn't understand him.

但我想我只是不瞭解他。

I just wish I could've

我只是希望我可以

spend a little time with him before he...

花點時間陪他，免得他...

Never mind. I'll see you later, man.

沒關係回頭見，夥計。

[Anthony shouts] He totally fell for it!

他完全上當了！

[Ian's grandpa] What an idiot! Who falls for a prank llike that?

真是個白痴！誰會被這樣的惡作劇所迷惑？

[Ian's mom] Did you get him to eat the kitty litter?

你讓他吃貓砂了嗎？

[Anthony] Yeah, you should see. He was like...

[安東尼]是的，你應該看到。他就像...

"I got the little cat poop in my mouth!"

"我的嘴裡有小貓屎！&quot。

[Ian's grandpa] Hey, fellas. I got one more prank.

嘿，夥計們，我還有一個惡作劇。我還有一個惡作劇。

[Ian] Oh, grandpa. You're a great man.

哦，爺爺你是一個偉大的人。

I just wish...

我只是希望...

[Ian as narrator] To see bloopers and this,

[伊恩作為旁白] 要看到的特寫和這一點，

click the video right here.

點擊這裡的視頻。

It's that easy.

就這麼簡單。

[Ian from the blooper footage] Don't shave the tip of the nip.

[Ian from the blooper footage] Don't shave the tip of the nip. Don't shave the tip of the nip.

[Ian as narrator] Thanks for subscribing.

[伊恩作為旁白] 感謝您的訂閱。

Now who wants to go fly some kites?

現在誰想去放風箏？

Because it's a freaking kite day!

因為今天是放風箏的日子!

Captioned by HCHS63rdWilson(Zombie)

字幕：HCHS63rdWilson(Zombie)