Have a seat, everybody.

Go ahead and catch your breath, tWitch,

and there's something that I want to talk about.

And I'm sorry.

I'm kind of distracted right now.

I just--

00:00:48,905 --> 00:00:50,396 Have a seat!

00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,438 Hi Brad!

Hey Ellen!

Well, why are you-- what are you doing?

Don't mind me.

I just came to see the show.

Great show by the way so far.

You're killing it.

Thank you.

Thank you!

It's hard to not mind you.

You're right there, and I mean, why are you here?

I'm just a fan.

Had the day off.

Wanted to see how the show was going.

OK.

Well, you're welcome to-- you want to come sit down here?

00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,810 No, I'm good.

Thanks though!

Carry on.

OK.

This is very strange.

So all right.

Kids are going back to school, which means it's a perfect time

to look at some back to school photos in a cutting edge

segment we're calling Back to School Photos.

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00:02:11,571 --> 00:02:12,845 All right.

Ellen?

Yes, Brad?

Are you going to do the one with the signs, you know,

where they're wrong and then it's really funny?

What's wrong with these signs signs?

Yeah that one.

No, we're not going to do that.

You can't-- we prepare for the show, and then we--

so this is the segment we're going to do right now.

OK.

All right.

Here we go.

A lot of parents take a photo of their child

before they go to school for their very first day.

It turns out some parents take a photo of their child

after the first day of school.

I'll show you what I mean.

Here's Lucy before school.

There she is looking adorable.

Here she is after school.

00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:05,869 Yeah, even that unicorn backpack is a--

kind of done with.

Here's Frankie in the morning.

And then here's Frankie after school.

Oh, Yeah.

He went to school as a kid, came home as a Wall Street

banker he said.

Here's Sophia before school.

00:03:25,580 --> 00:03:27,802 Look at Sophia after school.

All right.

She went from J.C. Penny catalog to mug shot right there.

00:03:38,070 --> 00:03:39,880 Yes Brad?

Just a quick question.

Is the Ellen Shop going to be open after the show?

Yes Brad, it's always open after the show.

Great!

I love the underwear.

Buy as many as you like.

OK.

I hope everyone had a good summer, and I know some of you

did because I did some research.

And I'm going to share my results with you right now.

First, we have this person.

Yep.

And she says I went to Burning Man,

and now I can't remember what I did this summer.

00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,890 Then there's this man.

00:04:19,870 --> 00:04:23,170 I celebrated Hot Girl Summer by getting my first Brazilian.

00:04:26,750 --> 00:04:28,330 Yeah.

And there's this woman here.

This summer-- this summer I prayed that Brad Pitt

would be sitting behind me.

00:04:43,390 --> 00:04:45,210 Yeah.

And finally there's this guy.

This summer I prayed this woman would

be sitting in front of me.

00:04:56,890 --> 00:05:04,070 Brad, are you planning on staying the whole show?

Isn't everyone?

Yeah.

Yeah, they are.

OK.

Great!

When we come back, Sean Hayes will be sitting right here.

We'll be back.

It's good to see you.

How was your summer?

My summer was great.

You know, I took my godson Sammy to Disneyland.

I don't know when the--

I'm sorry, I'm so distracted because Brad Pitt is

in your audience, and it's kind of just like throwing me

off my game.

I know.

Brad, there's a lot of people here,

and you're the only one that's distracting.

So please try to keep it down.

Right, sorry.

Sorry Sean.

Yeah.

Sorry.

Oh my gosh, those eyes.

I can't be mad at you.

All is forgiven.

He's cute.

He's cute, yeah.

But let's talk about you.

OK.

All right.

Well, I just feel like, Ellen, you

should really take advantage that Brad Pitt is here.

Yeah.

You know, he hasn't done the show in eight years,

and I've been on this show eight times this week.

But I'm being so selfish.

I get to sit this close and look into your beautiful blue eyes.

I think Brad is all the way up there.

He should be this close to this much beauty.

So I, Sean Carl Hayes am going to give up my seat next

to the world's richest lesbian.

00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:19,650 To the guy from two episodes of "Growing Pains," please,

Brad Pitt.

00:06:51,510 --> 00:06:52,010 All right.

We're out of time.

We have to go to break.

We'll be back.

Hi, I'm Andy.

Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel

so you can see more awesome videos,

like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things

like ball peeing hammer.

And also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities

if you're into that sort of thing.

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