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  • You can't make dairy out of nuts.

    不可能用堅果做出乳製品的啦。

  • You can't.

    不可能。

  • Cows and nuts are different.

    牛和堅果是兩碼子事。

  • I'm like a convenience vegetarian.

    我吃方便素。

  • Straight up meat eater.

    我是葷食者。

  • We did a bacon taste test the other day

    我們前幾天做了一個培根口味實驗

  • and it was the happiest time of my life.

    那是我人生中最快樂的時光。

  • It's got no lactose, no casein, no gluten,

    沒有乳糖、沒有酪蛋白、沒有麩質、

  • no soy, no cholesterol.

    沒有大豆、沒有膽固醇。

  • So I don't know what else could be in this.

    那我不知道還有什麼東西可以在這裡面。

  • Doesn't look too bad so far.

    目前為止看起來還不太糟。

  • It says it melts and stretches.

    它說它會融化且有彈性。

  • Why do I have to be told that it's going

    為什麼我需要知道它會

  • to melt and stretch?

    融化還會延展?

  • Already smells funny.

    已經聞起來很有趣了。

  • Starting to second guess it

    我要重新評價它

  • now that the smell's coming in.

    已經聞到味道了。

  • Uh-uh, that's not Swiss cheese.

    呃呃,這不是瑞士起司。

  • Oh yeah, it really tastes like cheese.

    喔,它真的吃起來像起司。

  • No it doesn't.

    不,不像。

  • Yeah it does.

    很像。

  • Really bad.

    糟透了。

  • I have goose bumps.

    我起雞皮疙瘩了。

  • Blue cheese and what... and like mucus?

    藍起司還有某種...像黏液的東西?

  • On a sandwich I could imagine

    如果放在三明治上我可以想像

  • this going really well.

    再合適不過了。

  • Like that?

    像那個嗎?

  • Yeah, well, on like a meat sandwich.

    對,嗯,放在有肉的三明治上。

  • I'm so sorry vegans.

    素食主義者們,我很抱歉。

  • Dr. Cow treenut cheese.

    牛博士堅果起司。

  • I'm not feeling well.

    我覺得不太舒服。

  • Is Dr. Cow available?

    牛博士是買得到的嗎?

  • Dr. Cow is a very funny name.

    牛博士這名字真好笑。

  • Nuts?

    堅果?

  • I didn't know you could age nuts.

    我不知道堅果也可以熟成。

  • This is a candle.

    這是蠟燭。

  • Someone just forgot to put a wick in it.

    有人忘了在裡面放燈芯。

  • Someone took a lifetime's worth of earwax

    有人存了一生的耳垢

  • and like compounded it.

    來混合做成它。

  • That's exactly what it looks like,

    它看起來完全就是那樣,

  • and now that's really gross that you.

    你講了之後現在它看起來超級噁心。

  • Okay, so this actually has a more cheese-like feel.

    好,這個觸感有比較像起司了。

  • Oh man, that smells diabolical.

    喔天啊,聞起來糟透了。

  • It smells like kind of sour.

    聞起來有點酸臭。

  • This one's way better than the last one.

    這一個比上一個好太多了。

  • No it isn't.

    才沒有。

  • I am so upset to say that it works.

    我很難過的說真的很像耳垢。

  • I think this one's way better.

    我覺得這一個好多了。

  • It's still a little mealy and weird.

    它還是有一點粉狀而且很怪。

  • It really doesn't taste like any sort of cheese,

    它吃起來不像任何一種起司,

  • but it's not bad.

    但還不賴。

  • It has hashtag cheese karma, so...

    它有標註起司因果,所以...

  • Look at this label!

    看這個標籤!

  • It says follow your heart.

    它說跟隨你的心。

  • The liberal packaging really pisses me off.

    這個自由主義的包裝真讓我生氣。

  • I'm with you.

    我有同感。

  • It even feels like cheese.

    它甚至摸起來像起司。

  • Feel this, it's got like a...

    感覺一下,像是...

  • Oh, it got that bounce.

    喔,它有彈性。

  • Smells awful.

    聞起來糟透了。

  • No.

    不。

  • Oh.

    喔。

  • Oh, no.

    喔,不。

  • Mmmm.

    嗯。

  • Oh-ho-ho.

    喔齁齁。

  • The consistency is terrible.

    它的質感糟透了。

  • Aftertaste wasn't bad though.

    但餘韻還不賴。

  • Like...

    像是...

  • You know how a trampoline feels?

    你知道彈簧床是什麼感覺嗎?

  • If you took a bite out of that,

    如果你咬一口彈簧床,

  • that's what this would be.

    就是這個的感覺。

  • Yeah, zero out of 10.

    十分中給零分。

  • Tofutti?

    豆腐凍?

  • I love these names, man.

    我喜歡這些名字。

  • This is like my favorite part.

    這是我最喜歡的部分。

  • Oh, you don't know Tofutti?

    喔,你不知道豆腐凍嗎?

  • I don't know Tofutti.

    我不知道豆腐凍。

  • Oh, they make a whole line of ice creams,

    喔,他們做一整個生產線的冰淇淋,

  • and other shitty dairy products.

    還有其他乳製品。

  • Actually, this smells the most promising.

    事實上,這個是聞起來最好的。

  • Why doesn't it taste like anything?

    為什麼它吃起來什麼都不像?

  • It tastes like the real stuff.

    吃起來像真的起司。

  • Yeah, I feel like you could fool me with this.

    對,我覺得你可以用這個來騙倒我。

  • I think it would taste much worse hot though.

    我覺得如果加熱會吃起來更糟。

  • I could eat this whole thing.

    我可以把它整個吃完。

  • That's pretty un-offensive.

    非常不冒犯。

  • Treeline cheese.

    林線起司。

  • Treenut cheese.

    堅果起司。

  • Aged artisanal treenut cheese.

    熟成手工堅果起司。

  • You could probably put this in someone's bathroom

    你可以把這個放在某人的浴室裡

  • and they would wash their hands with it.

    他們八成會拿它來洗手。

  • You know that brand, Crabtree and Evelyn,

    你知道那個品牌嗎,Crabtree and Evelyn,

  • they make candles and soaps?

    做蠟燭和肥皂的。

  • Smells like Play-doh, looks like Play-doh.

    聞起來像培樂多黏土,看起來也像培樂多。

  • It feels like Play-doh.

    摸起來像培樂多。

  • I feel like if Urban Outfitters sold cheese

    如果 Urban Outfitters 賣起司

  • this is how it would be packaged.

    大概就會包裝成這樣。

  • This is really good.

    真的很好。

  • This is a very pleasing cheese.

    這起司很好吃。

  • It's not bad.

    不錯。

  • Yeah, I mean this fanta cheese is working out.

    我覺得這個芬達起司還不賴。

  • They made tree nuts taste kind of like blue cheese.

    他們把堅果做得吃起來像藍起司。

  • This is fun to play with.

    這很好玩。

  • K for Keith and a K for Hillary.

    K 代表 Keith,另一個 K 是 Hillary。

  • So this is artisanal vegan cheese

    這是手工素起司。

  • from a shop in Los Angeles.

    來自洛杉磯的一間店。

  • Vromage.

    Vromage。

  • Vromage.

    Vromage。

  • So vegan fromage.

    所以是純素奶酪。

  • It looks nicer than the other one.

    它看起來比其他的好多了。

  • Sounds kind of douchey.

    聽起來蠻無腦的。

  • Oh yeah, I can put this on everything.

    太好了,我可以把它加在所有東西上。

  • Oh man.

    天啊。

  • I like it.

    我喜歡它。

  • I like it.

    我喜歡它。

  • Oh yeah.

    喔耶。

  • Yeah.

    耶。

  • Yeah.

    耶。

  • I could do this.

    這個我可以。

  • They'll never get the texture right.

    他們不可能把質感做對。

  • I think we just have to accept that.

    我想我們只能接受這點。

  • This is a sweet little girl.

    真是個甜蜜的小女孩。

  • Let me taste more of that.

    讓我多品嘗一點。

  • Were those two bites like a $1.50 of cheese?

    這兩口像是 $1.50 的起司嗎?

  • This opened me up to a whole new world.

    它為我開啟了新的世界。

  • I think I'm going to stick to milk cheese.

    我想我還是會堅守牛奶起司。

  • We've come a long way in vegan cheese.

    素起司已經進步很多了。

  • We've got a long way still to go.

    我們還有很長的路要走。

  • We have such a long way to go.

    還有超大的進步空間。

  • I wonder if all this vegan cheese

    我很好奇這些素起司

  • is going to make my poop look weird.

    會不會讓我的大便看起來很怪。

You can't make dairy out of nuts.

不可能用堅果做出乳製品的啦。

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人們首次嘗試素食奶酪 (People Try Vegan Cheese For The First Time)

  • 35 3
    Lian 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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