Is it a hard thing to think about?

想像起來很可怕嗎？

Yeah, like really, really hard.

對，非常可怕。

'Cause I know that it's possible, you know?

因為你知道嗎？我知道這是有可能發生的。

- Hi. - Hi.

- 嗨。 -嗨。

I'm Niray, nice to meet you.

我是 Niray，很高興認識你。

Nice to meet you.

很高興認識你。

Nice to meet you I'm Tyrone.

很高興認識你，我是 Tyrone。

Tyrone, how old are you?

Tyron，你幾歲？

- I'm 14. - 14.

- 我 14 歲。 - 14 歲啊。

Do you know what we are here to talk about today or--

你知道我們今天要談論什麼嗎？

About you.

談論關於妳的事。

That's correct.

沒錯。

It's about experience that I had when I was in college, when I was 19 years old.

是關於我 19 歲讀大學的時候經歷的事。

Do you know kind of what happened, or--

你知道大概發生了什麼事嗎？

I believe you were in a school shooting.

我知道你被捲入一場校園槍擊案。

Yes.

對。

But that's kind of the extent of what I know.

但我只知道這樣。

Do you kind of know what we're here to talk about today or the topic?

你知道我們今天大概要談論的主題嗎？

School shooting?

校園槍擊事件嗎？

Yes, you're like okay, I hope it's not the one.

你好像在說：「希望不是講這個。」

Is it okay to laugh about that?

笑這件事是可以的嗎？

I feel like I'm making a joke out of it but it's 'cause it scares me.

我覺得我因為害怕所以把它講成笑話。

You're totally allowed to laugh about it.

你完全可以笑這件事。

I often have to make jokes about it and a little bit, make it lighter just because it's a hard thing to talk about.

我常常需要講一些關於槍擊案的笑話來讓它輕鬆一點，因為那是個難以啟齒的話題。

Have you guys ever heard of the Virginia Tech shooting?

你們有聽過維吉尼亞理工大學校園槍擊案嗎？

It wasn't the first, it was pretty early on before--

那不是第一起校園槍擊案，但發生在頗為早期的時候...

Correct, it was in 2007.

沒錯，發生在 2007 年。

I was in a French class, so, you know, normally typical kind of cold day and without any warning, a student locked us inside the building, like he chained the door shut on purpose and he killed 30 people.

我在一個普通的寒冷早晨上法文課，毫無預警地，一個學生故意把門鍊起來把我們鎖在大樓裡，然後他殺了 30 個人。

I just wanted to know what your immediate thoughts were when you first heard shots?

我只想知道你第一時間聽到槍聲時當下冒出的想法是什麼？

I didn't really realize they were gunshots initially because it felt like it was behind me and then it started to escalate and it got closer, and closer, and closer.

我一開始沒意識到那是槍聲，因為感覺離我很遠，而它開始變大聲然後越來越靠近。

And I was just thinking, what is going on?

我就想說：「現在發生什麼事？」

You know, no one said there's a shooting, those words were never, no one called a lockdown and things like that.

沒有人說過當時正發生槍擊案，我們的大樓也沒有緊急封閉什麼的。

He quickly burst into the room and I was in shock.

兇手很快就衝進教室，我嚇傻了。

I didn't know what was going on.

我完全搞不清楚狀況。

My teacher and another student, they tried to push their desk against the door to keep him out but unfortunate they weren't strong enough and so he burst through and he shot them first.

我的老師和另外一位學生試著把桌子推向門把兇手擋在外面，但不幸地，他們不夠強壯，兇手衝進來就先把他們射死了。

At this point I got under a desk.

這時候我躲在桌子底下。

He shot every single person but one in my classroom so I was almost thinking, okay your turn is coming, take it, hold on.

他射了除了我一個以外教室裡的所有人，所以我就想：「好，要換你了，撐住。」

And that's when he shot me in the back, so.

他就是那時候在我背上開了槍。

I was shot in the back the first time and then in my butt.

我先射到背，然後被射到屁股。

Getting shot, what did that feel like?

被槍射到是什麼感覺？

It felt like a hot pinch.

很像是很燙地被擰了一下。

It was not like a movie re-enactment where everyone is screaming and arms flailing, it's not like that.

不像電影場景裡大家尖叫和胡亂揮動雙手，並不是那樣。

It just feels like heat.

就只感覺到發燙。

It's very hot, that's the best way I would describe it.

最佳形容方式就是，非常非常燙。

And then after awhile because I was losing so much blood, I started to feel very cold, like I was just drenched in water.

過一陣子後，我因為失血過多而感覺像全身濕透一樣冷。

And then, I start to fall asleep and kind of lose consciousness, so.

然後，我就開始睡著並失去意識。

So yeah, so it sucks, it hurts, it hurts a lot.

感覺爛透了，超級痛。

How long did it take you to get in touch with your parents after you were shot?

你在被射殺後多久跟你父母連路？

I did not see my parents until I woke up in the hospital.

我一直到在醫院醒來才見到我父母。

And my surgeon called my parents and told my mom that I was shot and that I had to have surgery and they were like, we can't wait for you.

我的手術醫生打電話給我媽，跟她說我中槍了必須開刀，而且沒時間等我父母到場。

So, I woke up at around 4 p.m. that afternoon and they were in the hospital.

我下午四點醒來時他們就在醫院。

That's the biggest guilt that I have in the shooting, is that I did not call my parents.

在槍擊事件中我最有罪惡感的就是我沒有及時打電話給我爸媽。

So I always pick up the phone when my parents call.

所以現在我爸媽打電話我一定會接。

I'm really quick to respond to them because I just feel, I feel really bad about those four hours that they had to drive down.

我都很快回覆他們，因為我對他們當時煎熬的四小時車程感到很內疚。

Has your school talked about mass shootings or lockdown drills and things like that?

你們學校有談論過大規模槍擊案或是演練過緊急封閉之類的嗎？

We have a little a bit, we've done some lockdowns for if there was ever a shooter in the area or something.

有。我們有做過一些緊急封閉演練，以防這個地區出現槍擊殺手。

Do you know what you might do if you were in that similar situation?

你覺得要是你在相似的情況下會怎麼做？

I think that I would kind of try to hide.

我覺得我會試著躲起來。

That's a pretty fair, fair point.

很合理。

The awkward thing is that a lot of training would teach you to lockdown, but if you can also get out of the space, you should.

尷尬的是，很多訓練都教導你要緊急封閉建築，但如果真的有機會逃出那個空間的話，你應該這麼做。

So are you saying she shouldn't listen to her teacher?

所以你是說她不該聽老師的話？

Kind of, but that's also kind of like a really harsh thing.

有點像，但那那樣說也太過強烈。

I'm not saying don't listen to your teacher but...

我不是說不要聽老師的話，但是...

If you have a really good sense and a really good gut-feeling that something dangerous is happening, do what you think is best.

如果你有個強烈的直覺，覺得有危險的事要發生了，去做你覺得最正確的事。

And that might be disobeying the teacher.

而那可能就是要違抗老師說的。

But you may be safer outside of that space.

但可能離開那空間更安全。

At my school they have us all group up in a closet or something, and that always felt weird to me.

我們學校都要我們聚集起來躲進櫃子裡，我一直都覺得那樣很怪。

I asked my teacher, "Why are we all going right here, we were like, if someone just opened the door we would all be here?"

我問老師說，為什麼我們要躲來這裡？如果有人打開門我們都在這任人宰割？

And they were kind of like, well I don't know, I can't really do anything about it.

老師們就說，他們其實不知道也不太能做什麼改變。

I feel like in my school we're kind of in a little bubble.

我覺得我們學校好像活在與現實脫節的世界裡。

We're like, oh that's all happening in other places, but I think we just need to be more realistic about that because it could happen here.

我們都覺得槍擊只會發生在別的地方，但我覺得我們必須實際一點，因為那很有可能就在這裡發生。

Have you ever heard an adult say something like, it's never going to happen here?

你有沒有聽過大人說槍擊案永遠不可能在這裡發生？

Yes.

有。

Do you believe that?

你相信嗎？

No.

不相信。

I hope it doesn't happen here, I'm not saying it will.

我不希望它發生，也不是在說一定會發生。

But I think when you say that, you subconsciously don't even open yourself up to being prepared and have those conversations.

我覺得如果以那麼說，潛意識裡就不會開放自己為此做好準備並做出討論。

Do you feel pretty safe at school usually?

你在學校通常感覺很安全嗎？

Yeah, sometimes, yeah I'll say that, yeah.

對啊有時候，對，我會這麼說。

What are your thoughts on arming teachers, giving them guns?

你對於配槍給老師們的看法是什麼？

I'm not trying to say anything bad but there be some teachers that look a little sketchy and kind of scary and might just make the students in the classroom feel unsafe.

我不想說什麼壞話，但這樣會有些看起來有點怪怪的、可怕的老師，讓教室裡的學生感到不安全。

And it just might have the environment feel weird, you know?

而這可能會把整個環境氣氛變得很詭異。

I think it's a little beyond what a teacher has signed up for.

我覺得這有點超越老師們的責任。

They're like, okay I want to spend time with kids and I wanna enlighten the next generation, right, but then they're given this extra job like you need to carry this thing that could kill someone.

老師們本來只想花時間和小朋友們在一起，然後點亮下一代的未來，但這樣以來他們就多了一個責任，要攜帶著這個可以殺人的武器。

I agree 100%.

我百分之百贊同。

Do you think your school does enough for preparedness and training?

你覺得你們學校有做好充足的準備和訓練嗎？

If someone comes in our classroom with a gun we're supposed to throw anything within reach at them, in hopes to stop them.

如果有人舉槍進到我們教室，我們應該要把所以抓得到的東西丟向他們希望可以阻擋他們。

I don't like that it's come to that where we have to try and save ourselves by throwing our school supplies at the shooter.

我討厭我們走到必需向槍擊兇手丟文具來保護自己這步。

Is it a hard thing to think about?

想像起來很可怕嗎？

Yeah, but like really, really hard.

對，非常可怕。

'Cause I know that it's possible, you know?

因為你知道嗎？這是有可能發生的。

Are there warning signs that you should look for, for a shooting?

發生槍擊案前可以找到什麼警示嗎？

Yeah, there's definitely some things to be aware of.

有，一定有可以注意到的地方。

Sometimes people openly talk about wanting to do a school shooting.

有時候有人會公開地說想要犯下一起校園槍擊案。

That, you should definitely tell a teacher or a parent or whoever that you trust.

一聽到你就絕對該告訴老師或家長或任何你信任的人。

If you see someone, that they're impressed by it, that's enough to just check in on them and see if they're okay.

如果你看到有人說他們覺得很佩服，就需要去看看他們是否安好。

You can't say that, oh because you did this you're gonna do a school shooting but the whole point of it is to speak up and to share those concerns because all school shootings are preplanned.

不能說某人做了某事就一定會犯下校園槍擊，這整個重點是要大聲講出來並表示關心，因為所有校園槍擊案都是預先計畫的。

And often we, as their friends or their parents or whoever else, can stop that planning.

而身為朋友、家長或任何人的我們，通常可以阻止那個計畫。

What are some ways that you've dealt with your trauma after what happened?

你如何在事後處理自己的創傷？

I first found a really good counselor, so that was incredibly helpful.

我一開始找了一個很棒的諮商師，那非常有用。

And then I tried to take things lighter.

然後我試著把每件事看待得輕鬆點。

So people will, you know, freak out, oh, there's traffic, that sucks.

很多人在塞車的時候會變得很激動，覺得爛透了。

But at the end of the day, you're alive.

不過到頭來，你還活著。

You got to sit in this traffic.

你得以置身於這個車陣中。

I know it sounds super corny but it's true.

我知道聽起來超級老套，但是真的。

The privilege to have annoyances is a real thing.

能夠感覺到煩惱、生氣真的是一項特權。

And sometimes my friends will remind me like, be grateful for traffic, and I'm like shut up.

有時候我朋友會提醒我要感恩塞車，然後我就會叫他們閉嘴。

But it's true, be grateful for it, because you never know what the next day brings.

但是真的要感恩，你永遠不知道隔天會發生什麼事。

Hi, I'm Kristina and thank you for watching Kids Meet a School Shooting Survivor.

嗨。我是 Kristina，謝謝觀看「小孩與校園槍擊生還者面對面」。

To learn more about my experience and my foundation please check for a link below, buh-bye.

看看底下的連結來深入了解我的經驗和基金會，掰掰。