Where does it even come from?

快樂從何而來？

Many videos that talk about this topic say that it's totally subjective to the person and you should only do what makes you happy.

已經有很多影片談論過這些話題表示快樂完全是個人主觀想法，你只該做會讓自己感到快樂的事。

To some extent, I do agree with this, but there is a giant piece of the happiness puzzle that I believe people are missing.

某方面，我同意這一點，但我相信，在巨大的快樂拼圖中，還有一大塊是大多人忽略的。

And in this video, I am going to address it.

在這部影片中，我會提出大家忽略的部分。

Let's start off with an example.

我先舉個例子。

If I ask someone, "What makes you happy?" and they say to me, "owning cool cars makes me happy, I have a very cool car collection."

如果我問一個人：「什麼東西會讓你感到快樂？」，他回答我：「擁有酷炫的車會讓我感到快樂，我的汽車收藏很酷」。

So, this is cool, but this is a superficial happiness, it is not really a core happiness.

這很酷，但這種只是表面上的快樂，這並不是核心快樂。

There is a quote by Socrates that I think is very interesting.

蘇格拉底有一句名言，我覺得非常有趣。

He said, "The secret of happiness is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less."

他說過：「快樂的秘訣並不在於尋求更多想要的，而是在於培養清心寡欲的能力」。

I will explain this quote through an example.

我舉一個例子來證實這句名言。

We all know someone who has gone over to Africa for a little bit of time to help out the kids there.

我們都知道，有些人會到非洲某些國家去幫助那邊的小孩。

One of the most common things people say when they come back from Africa is how happy the kids are there.

回國後，那些人最常說的事就是非洲的小孩有多麼快樂。

Even though they have almost nothing, a lot of them are laughing and enjoying themselves much more than the kids back in North America who have much more than them.

即使他們幾乎一無所有，大多人都笑得很快樂，也很享受自我，比擁有更多物質的北美國家小孩還來得快樂。

This is because their happiness comes from much less.

這是因為非洲小孩的快樂源自於知足。

Another interesting idea to understand with very young children is that you don't really ever ask them, "Are you happy?"

另一個可以從嬰兒身上學習快樂的有趣例子是，你不可能會問他：「你快樂嗎？」

If you asked a child that, they wouldn't even really know what you were talking about.

如果你問嬰兒這個問題，他們甚至根本聽不懂你在說什麼。

Now, there will be a time where you will ask that kid, "Are you happy?" And they will say either no or yes because as you get older, more stuff and burdens get laid upon you.

過幾年後，你問他同樣的問題「你快樂嗎？」他現在會回答快樂或不快樂，因為隨年齡增長，更多的責任以及期望會壓在你身上。

Where a lot of people get in trouble is when they think happiness is tangible.

讓更多人誤解的是，有人認為快樂是有形的資產。

Meaning they can touch and smell it, like a new car.

能夠觸摸到或是聞到味道，像是一台新車。

But, happiness is not this, happiness just is.

但快樂並不是如此，這只是其中一種快樂。

Another quote that I really love is, "Happiness is reality minus expectations."

另一個我很喜歡的名言是「快樂等於現實減去期望」。

When we start laying things on the child, when we start laying expectations on the child and when the child does not achieve our expectations, like getting a good grade or not coming in first in a race when he was expected to come first, then they become unhappy.

當我們開始期望孩子時，當我們開始將期望加注在孩子身上時，如果孩子沒有達到我們的期望，像是考高分，或是孩子沒有像自己預期中的一樣或在比賽中拿到第一名，孩子就會因此而不開心。

Because we have associated happiness with these tangible things, it's impossible to get core happiness.

因為我們將快樂聯想到這些有形的東西，這樣不可能得到實質的快樂。

When us humans are in our totally natural state, when there is nothing tangible chaining us down, then we are happy.

當一個人完全處於自然中，當沒有有形物品牽動我們時，我們很快樂。

When we are free, we are happy.

我們自由時會感到快樂。

That is why children are so happy.

這就是小孩那麼快樂的原因。

Because there's nothing chaining them down, they just kind of laugh and do whatever they want to do.

因為他們沒有包袱，他們整天笑嘻嘻的，而且自由自在。

A lot of them don't even make sense when you talk to them.

很多小孩子講話是你根本聽不懂的。

They don't even feel obligated to form complete sentences.

他們甚至沒有感覺到自己有義務要能說出完整句子。

I'm not saying that we can go through our lives without goals, I am not saying it's bad to be happy when you make a certain amount of money per month and achieve a goal.

我想表達的不是我們可以漫無目的生活，我想說的也不是每個月賺特定的薪水和達成目標不好。

But, what I am saying is it's important to understand what exactly happiness is.

但我想表達的是，了解真正的快樂究竟是什麼很重要。

You need to ask yourself, "Where does my happiness come from?"

你要問自己一個問題：「我的快樂源自於什麼？」

And ruthlessly, ask yourself, "Why do I get my happiness from this thing."

並直白地問自己：「為什麼我做這件事會感到快樂？」

If you ask yourself why enough times, you will get down to the core of yourself.

如果你問自己這個問題夠多次後，就可以找出自己的核心快樂。

Maybe the reason why you love cars so much is because your dad loved cars.

也許你這麼愛汽車的原因是因為你爸喜歡汽車。

Maybe your dad loved cars so much that he neglected you as a child.

也許你爸太愛汽車了。

And because you have not dealt with this issue, subconsciously, when you get these amazing cars, you're trying to impress him and get attention from him.

因為你沒有能力解決這個問題所以潛意識的，當你拿到玩具車時，就會秀給爸爸看，試圖得到他的注意力。

This might sound a little weird and crazy.

這也許聽起來有點詭異而且瘋狂。

I know I'm not a therapist or a psychiatrist, but this type of behavior is actually much more common than you realize.

我知道我也不是一位精神治療師或心理醫生，但這種行為事實上比你想像中的還要常見。

You need to ask yourself why.

你必須問自己：「為什麼？」。

As you get older and older, you get so much stuff just laid upon you, pushing your happiness further and further down the rabbit hole, which chains you down even more. And again, happiness is being free.

隨年齡增長，越來越多負擔壓在你身上，讓你的快樂離現實生活越來越遠，這些負擔讓身上的包袱變得更重，再次強調，快樂是擁有自由。

If it gets really bad and the chains become too much, people will try and escape by using drugs, food, sex.

如果變得不能感受到快樂，包袱太重時，人會試圖使用藥物、食物或性愛逃避。

No matter what it is people use to escape, it achieves the same goal, which is temporarily blurring all the expectations laid upon you.

無論是用哪種方式逃避，目的都相同，就是暫時性模糊，所有壓在你身上的期望。

You are not really happy when you are high.

這些事物不是真正的快樂。

You just forget about the expectations just for a moment.

只是讓你暫時忘記所有期望而已。

Become aware of what you think makes you happy and be honest with yourself.

清楚了解什麼會讓自己感到開心，並對自己保持真誠。

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訂閱，成為魅力男性。