Name: 攻打泰坦9分鐘 (Attack on Titan IN 9 MINUTES)
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T08:01:52.000Z
Duration: 9 min 34 s

On that day, humanity received a grim reminder:

那一天，人類又重新想起了那種恐懼

雖然說這一幕已經被惡搞到一點都不正經了 ´_ゝ`

進階被動語態

That this scene has been parodied so much that no one could take it seriously anymore.

Eren: THE TITANS ARE GONNA EAT US 'CUZ WE'RE CATTLE!

他們是絕對不可能破門而入的啦

Hannes: and there's no way they can
break through the front door.

*sounds of excruciating pain in background*

漢斯，趕快幫艾倫一起把我給－－

Hannes : Have no fear, I'm here to save the day!

天啊，我褲子都脫了你給我看這個？
（「性感熟女在兒子面前被生吞活剝」）

Jäger！！！  (／‵Д′)／~ ╧╧

Oh God, this is not what I thought when I clicked this link!

我發誓從今以後我要殺爆所有巨人！！！！！！
讓他們死無葬身之處！！！！！！

我要屠殺所有的巨人，用他們的鮮血沐浴！！！！！！
他們將聞風喪膽！！！！！！

FROM THIS DAY, I SWEAR I'M GONNA
KILL EVERY LAST TITAN!!!

WHEN I'M SHOWERING IN THE BLOOD OF ALL THE TITANS I'VE MASSACRED, THEY WILL KNOW THE NAME!

所有的巨人都會死在我的手裡！！！！！！

EVERY LAST DAMN ONE I'M GONNA FUCKIN- *constant rambling*

老天艾倫你已經他媽的吼了兩年了
你到底在大聲什麼啦

所以……你剛剛說你喜歡巨人？

JESUS EREN IT'S BEEN TWO FUCKING YEARS
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

雖然說大部份的訓練根本沒用
因為你們十之八九都會掛掉

Welcome to Military school, all of this training will probably be useless

Annie : I have a great ass when it's titanic.

等等，我的戲份又不像SAO的克萊茵一樣被砍掉

別理那傢伙，對我來說你就是主角

Jean : Well I'm going to be
an actual interesting character

等你不是領便當的免洗角色
再來跟我抬槓

早就告訴你不要亂立旗了吧 σ ﾟ∀ ﾟ) ﾟ∀ﾟ)σ

Don't listen to him, you're my main character 

從今天起你們都是官方認證的巨人飼料啦

Shut up Marco, come back when
you're not a disposable character.

現在我有能對付巨人的武器了！

事實上我並不認為中二病算得上是武器

別理米卡莎，我一定會砍爆那些蠢巨人

CONGRATULATIONS ON GRADUATING, YOU ARE NOW

你怎不當著我的面再說一次要砍爆我啊你這小賤貨？

I now have all the weapons I need to kill the titans.

終於到了我大顯身手幹爆巨人的時刻了！

Actually, last time I checked,
edge isn't actually a weapon.

一想到要真的和巨人作戰我就有點怕怕啊！！！

*internal thoughts* Don't listen to her,
those stupid titans don't stand a

為什麼我們都要用吼的講話！！！

誰知道！！！
這部動畫裡的人不都是這樣講話的嗎！！！！！！

Why don't you say that against my face you lil' bitch

你到底在工三小啦！！！！！！

大家我嚇到尿褲子啦！！！！！！

I AM SLIGHTLY FRETFUL OF THE THOUGHT OF FIGHTING TITANS!

I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH
YOUR SENTIMENT THERE!

搞屁啊大家喊那麼大聲，結果馬上就死光了

I DUNNO, ISN'T THIS HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO

－還不是啦 (*´∀`)~♥
－怕. jpg

你知道為什麼艾倫對我來說如此重要嗎？

噢天啊他竟然把他的圍巾給我了

這聞起來超讚的，只要我一直戴著Senpai就會注意到我

然後我們就可以約會結婚生一堆小孩RRRRRRRR ♥

是啊，失去艾倫之後，我活著還有什麼意義呢？

哇你們有看到那隻巨人嗎？那會是誰呢？

Do you even know why he means so much to me?

哇！快看！真的是艾倫變的耶！

（廣大網民棒讀：）哇，我的天啊！誰知道呢？太神啦！太出乎意料啦！

OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE HE GAVE ME A SCARF

IT SMELLS SO GOOD MAYBE IF I WEAR IT ENOUGH

我給你們五分鐘證明自己是清白的！

HE'LL START TO NOTICE ME AND THEN WE'LL START DATING

不然我們就用大砲轟飛你們的腦袋！

AND THEN GET MARRIED AND GET A BUNCH OF KIDS

阿爾敏，現在大家都覺得我是人類的威脅

就交給你證明我的清白了！我相信你辦的到！

別殺他們，也許我們能靠他們來把城牆上的洞補起來呢

THAT'S RIGHT, WHAT'S
THE POINT OF LIVING ANYMORE?

是擅長想作戰計畫的朋友呢，趕快把計畫告訴大家吧

Guys, did you see that titan,
what do you think it could possibly be?

聽好了各位，我們要發起瑪麗亞之牆奪還計畫！

仔細聽好了，以下就是我們的作戰計畫

他應該知道這裡距離上面有200英尺吧？

字幕列表影片播放

攻打泰坦9分鐘 (Attack on Titan IN 9 MINUTES)

weird

absolutely

panic

compelling