All right.

好喔

Oh, look, It's the first time I've seen my book in a store.

喔你看這是我第一次看到自己的書擺在書店

It's here.

在這裡

You're going to sign books.

要準備來簽書了

We have a Michelle Obama here.

快來看 Michelle Obama

[CHEERING]

[歡呼]

Michelle Obama.

Michelle Obama

[CHEERING]

[歡呼]

She'll be signing books.

她要來簽書了

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

How are you?

你好嗎？

Hi.

嗨

What's your name?

你的名字是？

Hi, nice to meet you.

嗨，很高興見到你

I'm Sophia.

我是 Sophia

Sophia.

Sophia

Hi, Sophia.

嗨，Sophia

You've got your book?

你也要拿一本回去嗎？

You'll start reading it when you get home.

你回家後就可以開始看了

Ellen, you can't sign my book.

Ellen，你不可以簽我的書

Yes, I can.

可以，我可以

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

No, you can't.

不，你不行

For Cameron.

給 Cameron

Wait, wait, OK, so now you have to make a choice.

等等，OK，你現在得做個選擇

Do you want an Ellen-signed Michelle Obama

你想要 Ellen 簽名的 Michelle Obama 的書

book or a Michelle-Obama-signed Michelle Obama book?

或 Michelle Obama 簽名的 Michelle Obama 的書？

What if you get both of our signatures?

那如果我們兩個的簽名都有呢？

That would be fantastic.

那就太好了

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

Why is your signature bigger than mine on my book?

為什麼在我書上你的簽名比我的還大？

The heck.

X

Free samples.

免費樣本

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Anybody want a free sample?

有人想要免費樣本嗎？

If I could have a signed--

請問我可以要簽名嗎 --

What's your name?

你的名字是？

Sure, here's a free sample for you.

沒問題，這裡有免費的給你

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

[插嘴]

What is your name?

你的名字是？

What's your name?

你的名字是？

Michelle, what did you put in here?

Michelle，你把什麼放在這裡？

Oh my god.

喔我的天啊

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

What?

什麼？

Michelle, you can't do that.

Michelle，你不能這樣

Look at her.

看看她

She does a lot of book signings, so she gets a little, you know.

她簽太多書所以她現在有點......

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

That's crazy.

好狂啊

You can't--

你不行 --

It's OK.

沒關係的

I'm sorry, don't even act like that happened, all right?

不好意思，就當作什麼都沒發生過

OK, what's your name?

OK，你的名字是？

Gina.

Gina

So G-I--

所以 G-I--

G-I-N-A.

G-I-N-A

G-I-N-A.

G-I-N-A

Yeah.

耶

To Gina.

給 Gina

Here's my book.

這是我的書

Thank you.

謝謝你

OK.

OK

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

Gina.

Gina

Gina.

Gina

Did you want Ellen's book too?

你也想要 Ellen 的書嗎？

Yes, of course.

對呀，當然

Yeah.

耶

You don't have to be polite.

你不需要有禮貌

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Thank you.

謝謝你

What did you--

你剛剛 --

I didn't say anything.

我什麼都沒說

Oh.

喔

What aisle is the foot fungus medicine on?

香港腳的藥擺在哪一個走道？

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Michelle is asking for foot fungus medicine.

Michelle 在問香港腳的藥

I don't need foot fungus medicine.

我不需要香港腳的藥

No?

不需要？

No.

不需要

Hi, Michelle, so I came for lunch, because I got her lunch.

嗨，Michelle，我來吃午餐，因為我要買午餐給她

And my grandbaby's just--

然後我的小孫子 --

What are you doing?

你在幹嘛？

Are you sure you only want the 30-pack?

你確定你只想要 30 包裝？

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

I don't need that much toilet paper.

我不需要這麼多衛生紙

I'm good.

我很好

We're good.

我們都很好

Why do you say one thing to me quietly and then act

為什麼你要靜靜地說完然後

like you didn't say it?

再一副你沒說過的樣子？

OK, and this one as well?

OK，這本也是嗎？

My mom.

我媽媽的

L-I-L-A.

L- l-L-A

For those of you who can't get here,

對於無法到場的各位

I'm going to read a tiny bit of her book

我要來唸她書中的一小段

so that you can see what is inside.

讓你們知道裡面的內容

He took her by the waist and pulled her flush against his chest--

他摟著她的腰把她摟進胸懷，讓她的臉上泛起紅暈

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

That's not--

那不是 --

--the number one thing this woman needs.

-- 女人最需要的就是

That's not my book.

那不是我的書

Thank you so much.

很謝謝你

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

What book was that?

那什麼書？

I don't know.

我不知道

Stop reading from my book.

不要在朗誦我的書了

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

Emma.

艾瑪

Emma, OK.

艾瑪，OK

I'm about to give it to her.

我要給她這個

Smell this.

聞聞看

No, no.

不，不

Because when they go low, we get high.

因為他們自甘墮落，我們不同流合汙

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

When they go low, we get high.

他們自甘墮落，我們不同流合汙

Put that down or you're going to get that up your nose.

放下不然你會讓自己出糗

And then you'll be sorry.

然後你就不好意思了

Gonna get up your nose.

你要出糗了

OK, thanks so much.

OK，感激不盡

You want me to sign a book to you?

你想要我簽本書給你嗎？

I would love that.

我很樂意

That's Sheri, S-H-E-R-I--

那是 Sheri， S-H-E-R-I--

S H A A R I A S C H A I O R I O I O U

S H A A R I A S C H A I O R I O I O U

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Step on up.

請前進

Thank you very much.

感激不盡

How are you?

你好嗎？

When I say a "Michelle," you say "Pfeiffer."

我說「Michelle」，你說「Pfeiffer」

Michelle!

Michelle！

Pfeiffer!

Pfeiffer！

Michelle!

Michelle！

Pfeiffer!

Pfeiffer！

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

You thought I was going to say, "Obama."

你以為我要說「Obama」

I think you got me on that one.

我想你懂我

All right.

沒錯

What's your name?

你的名字是？

Lilliam, L-I, double-L, I-A-M.

Lilliam， L-I，兩個 L，I-A-M

Stop signing.

不要簽名了

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

I'm helping and then you just sign your name.

我幫忙然後你只需要簽你的名字

That's messy.

一團亂

No, no, I'll do it for you.

不，不，我會幫你

It actually ends with an M.

其實是以 M 結尾

Ends with an M.

以 M 結尾

You spelled it wrong.

你拼錯了

Well, you would have spelled it wrong, too,

你一定也拼錯了

had she not said that.

她沒這麼說

L-I, double-L--

L-I，兩個- L --

L-I-L-L-A--

L-I-L-L-A--

M.

M

See?

看到了嗎？

And second name is L--

然後中間名是 L--

L-I-L-L--

L-I-L-L--

I-A-M.

I-A-M

I-A-M.

I-A-M

OK.

OK

You're--

你是 --

Don't confuse her now, Ellen.

不要干擾她，Ellen

I'm guiding her.

我在引導她

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

This is not helpful.

這沒有幫助

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

All right, you know what, you do it by yourself then.

好的，你知道嗎，接下來你自己寫

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Aw.

噢

It's better that way.

這樣比較好

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

How are you guys doing?

你們好嗎？

What's your name?

請問你的名字是？

Monica.

Monica

Monica, great, M-O-N-I-C-A?

Monica，很好，M-O-N-I-C-A？

Yes, beautiful.

Yes，水啦

No, we're going to keep--

不，我們要繼續 --

I won't say anything.

我什麼都不說

Oh my gosh.

喔我的老天

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

From sitting so much, yeah, that could be a problem.

久坐，可能會造成問題

We don't need this.

我們不需要這個？

No?

不需要？

No, we don't need this.

不用，我們不需要

No, thank you.

不用，謝謝

And what's your name?

你的名字是？

Hi, my name's Cheryl.

嗨，我的名字是 Cheryl

What are you doing?

你在做什麼？

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

Can't take her anywhere, can you, Michelle?

很難拿，你可以嗎，Michelle？

[CLAPPING]

[拍手]

Hi, how are you?

嗨，你好嗎？

[PIANO NOISES]

[鋼琴聲]

Good.

很好

What's your name?

你的名字是？

Karen.

Karen

Karen, thanks for being here.

Karen，謝謝你來參加

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

(SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain

(唱歌)：她將會繞著山走

when she comes.

在她來的時候

She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes.

在她來的時候，她將會繞著山走

Come on, you know, I've learned to ignore her through this--

少來了，你知道的，我已經學會忽視她了

(SINGING): She'll be coming around the mountain.

(唱歌)：她將會繞著山走

She'll be coming around the mountain.

她將會繞著山走

She'll becoming around the mountain when she-- get it?

她將會變成繞著山走 -- 懂嗎？

"Becoming."

「變成」

Oh, OK.

喔，OK

We'll change it.

我們改一下

She'll becoming.

她將變成

You should emphasize it more.

你應該更強調

You play.

你彈

No, she plays.

不，她彈

Oh god.

喔天啊

No, I don't really play.

不，我真的不會彈

Yes, she does.

會，她會

She says in the book.

她在書中這麼說

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

[PIANO PLAYING]

[彈鋼琴]

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

This is not like a regular piano.

這不像一般鋼琴

[PIANO PLAYING]

[彈鋼琴]

[APPLAUSE]

[鼓掌]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

謝謝你，謝謝你，謝謝你

(SINGING): Michelle Obama.

(唱歌)：Michelle Obama

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

What's your name?

你的名字是？

(SINGING): Michelle Obama wrote a book.

(唱歌)：蜜雪兒歐巴馬寫了一本書

She mentions Oprah several times and me only once.

她提到歐普拉很多次而我只有一次

Michelle wrote a book mentioning Oprah too many times but me

Michelle 書裡面講到歐普拉太多次而我

only once.

只有一次

You were in there.

你有出場？

(SINGING): One time she mentions me but only once.

(唱歌)：她提過我一次但也只有那一次

How do you spell "Micae Langon"?

你怎麼拼「Micae Langon」？

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

--K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E. Mickey Mouse!

--K-E-Y. M-O-U-S-E，Mickey Mouse (米老鼠)！

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

M-I-C--

Oh, OK.

喔，好了

All right, to Maya.

好了，給 Maya

All right, everybody, this has been fun.

好了，大家，這很有趣

I miss Michelle.

我想念 Michelle

We miss Michelle.

我們想念 Michelle

I miss the Obamas.

我想念歐巴馬一家

We miss the Obamas.

我們想念歐巴馬一家

We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.

我們希望 Michelle 的香港腳可以治好

[LAUGHS]

[笑聲]

We hope Michelle's foot fungus clears up.

我們希望 Michelle 的香港腳可以治好

That's wonderful.

太好了

I don't have foot fungus.

我沒有香港腳

[LAUGHTER]

[笑聲]

We love Michelle!

我們愛 Michelle！

We love Ellen!

我們愛 Ellen !

[APPLAUSE]

[掌聲]

[MUSIC - SISTER SLEDGE, "WE ARE FAMILY"]

[音樂 - SISTER SLEDGE, "WE ARE FAMILY"]

We are family.

我們是一個大家庭

Hi, I'm Andy.

嗨，我是 Andy

Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel,

Ellen 請我去提醒你們記得去訂閱她的頻道

so you can see more awesome videos, like videos

這樣就可以收看更多精彩、喜歡的影片

of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,

像我被嚇到或講話很乾的影片

like "ball peen hammer" and also some videos

像是「球頭槌」

of Ellen and other celebrities if you're

和一些 Ellen 和其他名人的影片

into that sort of thing.

如果你對這些種類有興趣的話

[YELLING]

[大叫]

[BLEEP]

[消音]

God [BLEEP]

老天 [消音]