#IfIWonTheLottery stories from you guys.

各位提供給我的故事 #如果我中了樂透

This first one's from @Jerrikaswag.

第一則來自 @Jerrikaswag

She says, "I would get Britney Spears and her backup dancers

她說：「我會讓小甜甜布蘭妮和她的舞群

to come to my house and sing 'Work Bitch'

到我家唱 Work Bitch

while my kids did their chores."

在我小孩做家事的時候。」

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

Yeah.

耶

This one's from @Kevintjackson.

這則來自 @Kevintjackson

He says, "I would pay Morgan Freeman to move in with me

他說：「我會付錢給摩根費里曼，讓他搬來跟我住

and narrate my activities."

然後幫我的一舉一動加上旁白。」

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

"He ordered that pad Thai again for dinner."

「他又點了一次泰式炒金邊粉當晚餐。」

This one's from @Kristinrose124.

這則來自 @Kristinrose124

She says, "I'd hold a 'Bachelorette'-style

她說：「我會舉辦一個「單身女性」版本的

rose ceremony for every person I know

玫瑰發放儀式給我認識的人

where they find out if they made the cut

這樣他們就知道他們是否夠格

to be part of my awesome rich life."

參與我精彩富足的人生。」

[ Laughter and applause ]

[笑聲和掌聲]

"Sorry, Kayla, you're not getting a rose."

「抱歉，卡拉，你不會拿到玫瑰。」

This one's from @Daveholmestv. -Yeah!

這則來自 @Daveholmestv -耶！

He says, "I would finally get my own HBO Go subscription

他說：「我會自己訂閱 HBO Go

and stop using my ex's password."

然後不再用我前任的密碼登入。」

Hey! [ Laughter and applause ]

嘿！[笑聲和掌聲]

Small goals.

小小的目標

-This one is from @ewokabby. -Yeah.

-這則來自 @ewokabby -耶

She says, "I would pay off my student loans

她說：「我會付完學貸

and then with the extra $4 left,

剩下的 4 塊錢

I'd buy a bean crunchwrap supreme from Taco Bell."

我要買 Taco Bell 的頂級豆泥酥脆包餅

[ Cheers and applause ] That's not bad.

[歡呼和掌聲] 這不錯

-That might be the best one. -Yeah, that's the best one.

-這可能是最棒的 -是啊，這是最棒的

This one's from @wooddr0.

這則來自 @wooddr0

He says, "I would buy a rocket ship,

他說：「我要買艘火箭飛船，

fill it with all the mosquitos,

填入滿滿的蚊子

then launch it directly into the sun."

然後直接發射到太陽去。」

Yeah! [ Laughter and applause ]

耶 ! [笑聲和掌聲]

Mosquitos.

蚊子

This last one's from @Chrisorem10.

最後一個來自 @Chrisorem10

He says, "I would fly some people who believe

他說：「我會讓那些相信地球是平的人

the Earth is flat to outer space

飛到外太空

just so I could point at the Earth

我就可以指著地球

and be like, 'Look, dumbass.'"

然後像這樣『看吧，蠢蛋。』

There you go. There are your "Tonight Show" hashtags.

就這樣了。這就是各位的「Tonight Show」主題標籤

To check out more of our favorites,

去看看更多喜歡的貼文

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

搜尋 tonightshow.com/hashtags.