slip through the news cracks.

是很有趣的一件事

Here's a fun one: we might be closer to nuclear war.

這是個滿有趣的一個故事：我們可能更接近核戰爭了

Because, on saturday, Trump announced that the U.S. will

因為在星期六，川普宣布美國將

withdraw from a nuclear arms treaty with Russia.

退出和俄國簽訂的核武條約

Is this because of "Creed II"?

這是因為「金牌拳手」第二部嗎？

( Laughter ) "This one is for Apollo."

(笑聲) 「這是給阿波羅的。」

The deal Trump wants to pull out of is the 1987

川普想要退出的協議是 1987 年

intermediate-range nuclear forces treaty that was signed by

所簽的《中程飛彈條約》

Ronald Reagan and Mikhail Gorbachev.

由隆納·雷根和米哈伊爾·戈巴契夫所簽訂

So Trump is reopening a 30-year old confrontation.

所以川普正在重啟一個三十年前的對質

You know what that means, the '80s are back, baby!

你知道是什麼意思的「八〇年代回來了，寶貝！」

( Cheering ) Yeah!

(歡呼) 耶！

Hey!

嘿！

That was Trump's heyday!

那是川普的全盛時期

That was it right there!

就是這個樣子！

That's when Trump was Trump.

那是當川普還是川普的時候

(As Trump) "Hey everyone, we're bringing

(學川普)「嗨大家，我們帶回了

back nuclear standoffs with the Ruskis.

跟俄國人的核武僵局喔！

Now if you'll excuse me, I got to pound down this mcd.l.t. before my

不好意思現在可能先失陪了，我要趕快去把我那個大美味牛肉堡吃掉，

hot date with Ms. Pac-man."

之後還跟小精靈小姐有場火熱的約會呢！」

(Laughter ) And Trump picked a strange forum

(笑聲) 然後川普有挑了一個奇怪的場合

to announce he was pulling out of a major international

去宣布他要對出這個重要國際

agreement: he did it in a campaign rally in Nevada.

協約：他在一個內華達州的競選集會中宣布

>> Russia has violated the agreement.

俄國違反了協約

We're not gonna let them violate a nuclear agreement and

我們不會再讓他們違反協約然後

go out and do weapons and we're not allowed to.

出去做武器，然後我們不行

Stephen: "Do weapons"?

「做武器」？

( Laughter ) What the hell does that mean?

(笑聲) 那什麼鬼意思呀？

You can't do weapons.

你不能「做」武器

It's not lunch, or Dallas.

這不是「做」午餐，也不是「去」達拉斯 (在此 do 為「去」之意）

( Laughter ) Now, you might be saying,

(笑聲) 現在，你可能會說

"Stephen, I don't want to get vaporized in a thermonuclear war

「史蒂芬，我跟下一個人一樣不想在一場

as much as the next guy, but at least Trump finally did

熱核戰爭中被蒸發，但至少川普最後說了

something Putin wouldn't like."

一些普丁不會喜歡的東西。」

Oh, what simple arguments you have, made up person.

噢，你怎麼想的那麼簡單呢，我假想的人

because the fact is Putin likes this withdraw

因為事實上普丁喜歡美國退出協議呀

In fact, "Moscow proposed a joint termination of the treaty as far back as

事實上，「莫斯科在早在 2007 年提出要共同中止這項協議

in 2007 so it could deploy intermediate-range missiles in

這樣國才能部署中程飛彈

its south and east to counter Iran, Pakistan, and China."

反擊在它南方、東方的的伊朗、巴基斯坦和中國。」

That proposal was rejected, in part because George W. Bush

那個提議當時被美國駁回了，有一部份是因為喬治·沃克·布希

never paid prostitutes to pee on a bed.

不曾付錢讓妓女在床上尿尿 (指川普的一個醜聞）

(Cheering)

(歡呼)

Allegedly.

據說是這樣啦

We don't know.

我們不知道呀

We don't know.

我們不知道

He seems like fun.

他看起來很有趣

( Laughter ) Trump's decision has been panned

(笑聲) 川普的決定被前蘇聯總書記

by former soviet president and man who just found out about

也是一個剛剛才發現有帽子這種東西的男人

hats, Mikhail Gorbachev.

米哈伊爾·戈巴契夫嚴厲批評

who said, the move is not the work of a great mind.

他說：這不是個睿智的人會做的決定

Thank you.

謝謝

Thank you.

謝謝你

( cheers and applause )

(歡呼)

I believe Mikhail Gorbachev has just won his second Nobel Prize

我相信米哈伊爾·戈巴契夫會因此得到他第二個諾爾獎

for "outstanding achievement in

因為他「傑出的成就於

d'uh."

說出這顯而易見的事。」

We've got a great show for you tonight.

我們今晚為您準備了一場好表演。