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Five years ago, I stood on the TED stage, and I spoke about my work.
譯者: Ch'ng Tsu Pang 審譯者: Yanyan Hong
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But one year later,
五年前,我在TED的臺上 分享了我的作品。
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I had a terrible accident as I left a pub one dark night with friends,
但一年後我在蘇格蘭, 遇到了一次可怕的意外。
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in Scotland.
那天夜色昏暗, 我和朋友離開了酒吧。
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As we followed the path through a forest, I suddenly felt a massive thud,
我们順著小路穿過一片樹林, 我突然感覺猛轟的一聲,
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then a second thud,
又轟的一聲,
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and I fell to the ground.
然後我就跌在了地上。
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I had no idea what had hit me.
我完全不知道是什麽擊中了我,
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I later found out that when the gate was opened on a garden,
後來我才知道有個公園忘了關門,
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a wild stag stampeded along the path and ran straight into me.
一頭牡鹿竄了出來, 結果就撞上了我。
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Its antler penetrated my trachea and my esophagus
鹿角穿過我的氣管和食管, 直到我的脊椎。
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and stopped at my spinal cord and fractured my neck.
我的脖子也因此骨折。
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My best friend found me lying on the floor,
我好朋友發現我時,我躺在地上,
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gurgling for help through a hole in my neck.
從喉嚨的破洞中傳出咯咯聲求救。
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And we locked eyes, and although I couldn't speak,
我們四目交投,我說不出話,
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she could understand what I was thinking.
但她能明白我在想些什麼。
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And she told me, "Just breathe."
她和我說,「深呼吸就好」。
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And so, whilst focusing on my breath, I had a strong sense of calmness,
我一心想著呼吸,頓時平靜了許多。
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but I was certain that I was going to die.
但我很肯定,我這次死定了。
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Somehow, I was content with this,
但不知怎地,我竟滿足於此。
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because I've always tried to do my best in life whenever I can.
或許是因為我這一生 凡事都盡力而為吧。
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So I just continued to enjoy each breath as one more moment --
所以接下來的每次呼吸 我都格外珍惜——
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one breath in and one breath out.
吸進。呼出。
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An ambulance came, I was still fully conscious,
救護車來的時候, 我依然神智清醒。
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and I analyzed everything on the journey, because I'm a scientist:
因為我是科學家, 我一路上不停分析著:
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the sound of the tires on the road, the frequency of the street lights
輪胎在路上的聲音, 街燈閃過的次數,
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and eventually, the city street lights.
最後望見了城市的街燈,
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And I thought, "Maybe I will survive."
我想:「或許我還能活下來。」
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And then I passed out.
然後我就暈過去了。
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I was stabilized at a local hospital and then airlifted to Glasgow,
我在當地醫院穩定下來後, 就被空運去了格拉斯哥。
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where they reconstructed my throat and put me in a coma.
他們需要重建我的喉嚨, 所以再次讓我昏睡過去。
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And while I was in the coma, I had many alternate realities.
我在昏睡中經歷了許多另類現實。
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It was like a crazy mix of "Westworld" and "Black Mirror."
感覺有點像《西部世界》 和《黑鏡》的瘋狂結合,
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But that's a whole other story.
但這裡我就不細說了。
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My local TV station reported live from outside the hospital
我們本地的電視台在醫院外直播:
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of a Cambridge scientist who was in a coma,
劍橋科學家陷入昏迷,生死未卜。
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and they didn't know if she would live or die or walk or talk.
他們也不太確定 我還能不能走動或講話。
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And a week later, I woke up from that coma.
一週後,我從昏迷中醒過來了。
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And that was the first gift.
那是我收到的第一件禮物。
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Then I had the gift to think, the gift to move,
我收到了更多大禮——
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the gift to breathe
重獲了我思考、行動、 呼吸和吃喝的能力。
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and the gift to eat and to drink.
這花了我大概三個半月的時間。
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That took three and a half months.
但有件東西我卻拿不回來了,
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But there was one thing that I never got back, though,
那就是我的隱私。
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and that was my privacy.
一些小報社開始拿我的性別來說事。
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The tabloid press made the story about gender.
瞧,我是個跨性別者, 那沒什麼大不了。
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Look -- I'm transgender, it's not that big a deal.
也許我頭髮的顏色 或我鞋子的大小都比這有趣。
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Like, my hair color or my shoe size is way more interesting.
我上次在這裡發言時——
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When I last spoke here --
(掌聲)
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(Applause)
我上次在這裡發言時——
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When I last spoke here --
(掌聲)
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(Applause)
上次我在 TED 我沒提這事, 因為這很無聊。
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at TED, I didn't talk about it, because it's boring.
一家蘇格蘭報紙 卻打出了以下標題:
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And one Scottish newspaper ran with the headline:
「變性科學家遭牡鹿抵傷」。
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"Sex Swap Scientist Gored by Stag."
另外五家報紙打的也是類似標題。
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And five others did similar things.
看到這些標題時我很生氣, 但很快地我就冷靜下來。
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And for a minute, I was angry.
我想:「他們惹錯人了, 到時可能連怎麼死都不知道。」
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But then I found my calm place.
(笑聲)
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And what ran through my head was, "They've crossed the wrong woman,
我是個善良的忍者。
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and they're not going to know what's hit them."
我並不真的知道忍者是幹什麼的,
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(Laughter)
但對我而言, 他們飛簷走壁,來去無蹤,
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I'm a kindness ninja.
而且神出鬼沒,叫人防不勝防。
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I don't really know what a ninja does,
他們獨來獨往,從無怨言, 一心只專注於他們的計劃。
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but to me, they slip through the shadows, crawl through the sewers,
所以我躺在醫院的床上時,
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skip across the rooftops,
我就計劃著要如何利用既有的體制,
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and before you know it, they're behind you.
讓媒體不再有機會這樣地去傷害別人。
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They don't turn up with an army or complain,
我決定賠上我自己的隱私。
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and they're laser-focused on a plan.
他們告訴一百萬人的事, 我會跟一千萬人說。
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So when I lay in my hospital bed,
你越是生氣攻擊,對方就越是防禦。
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I thought of my plan to help reduce the chances
所以我不攻擊他們, 他們也就無從防衛。
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of them doing this to somebody else,
我寫了一些溫良平和的信給這些報社。
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by using the system as is, and paying the price of sacrificing my privacy.
結果我們英國的《太陽報》, 相當於你們美國的《福斯新聞》吧,
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What they told one million people, I will tell 10 million people.
對我的「理性處理」表示感謝。
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Because when you're angry, people defend themselves.
我既不要求對方道歉或收回言論, 也不要求金錢賠償。
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So I didn't attack them,
我只要求他們承認自己壞了規矩,
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and they were defenseless.
並認清他們自己犯錯的事實。
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I wrote kind and calm letters to these newspapers.
在這過程中,我開始了解他們, 他們也開始了解我。
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And The Sun newspaper, the kind of "Fox News" of the UK,
然後我們居然還成了朋友。
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thanked me for my "reasoned approach."
那之後我甚至還和太陽報的 菲莉帕一起喝過幾杯酒。
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I asked for no apology, no retraction, no money,
三個月過後,他們一致同意了,
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just an acknowledgment that they broke their own rules,
並在星期五發表了聲明, 整件事也就告一段落了。
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and what they did was just wrong.
至少他們認為是告一段落了。
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And on this journey, I started to learn who they are,
隔天星期六,我上了晚間新聞,
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and they began to learn who I am.
新聞的標題打著: 「六家全國性報社認錯了」。
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And we actually became friends.
主持人問我:
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I've even had a few glasses of wine with Philippa from The Sun since then.
「但你不覺得我們記者也有責任 把故事說得生動一些嗎?」
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And after three months, they all agreed,
我回答:「我被牡鹿抵傷, 躺在森林裡,這難道還不夠生動?」
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and the statements were published on a Friday,
(笑聲)
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and that was the end of that.
我現在也寫標題了, 我最得意的是這個:
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Or so they thought.
「牡鹿踐踏我喉嚨,報社踐踏我隱私」。
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On the Saturday, I went on the evening news,
這是當天最多人閱讀的 BBC 在線新聞。
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with the headline "Six National Newspapers Admit They Were Wrong."
這麼做我其實有點樂在其中。
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And the anchor said to me,
經過我這「媒體瘋狂炒作的一週」後,
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"But don't you think it's our job as journalists
我開始用我新發現的聲音與平台 來散播關於愛與善良的訊息。
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to sensationalize a story?"
每當我對報社或記者又有所憤恨時,
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And I said, "I was laying on a forest floor, gored by a stag.
我就要找出自己內心對他們的偏見,
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Is that not sensational enough?"
並不帶偏見地與這些人見面及對話。
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(Laughter)
我需要讓自己更了解他們, 反過來他們也會開始了解我。
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And I was now writing the headlines.
六個月過後,他們邀我 加入監管報社的委員會。
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My favorite one was,
然後,我一年至少會有好幾次 都會和那些媒體人喝茶聊天。
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"The stag trampled on my throat, and the press trampled on my privacy."
比如,每日郵報的編輯 保羅·戴克,他問過我:
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It was the most read piece of BBC News online that day.
「凱特啊,你最近幾個月過得怎樣?」
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And I was kind of having fun.
我尊重他們。
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And by the end of my week of media,
我現在之所以是委員會裡的 三個公眾代表之一,
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I started to use my newfound voice and platform
並不是因為我有什麼與眾不同,
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to spread a message of love and kindness.
而是因為我和每個人一樣, 都有一把值得重視的聲音。
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And when I had the minute of anger and hatred
諷刺的是,
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towards those press and journalists,
現在不時地還會有人 邀請我去參觀印刷廠,
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I had to identify my inner bigotry towards them.
這是個正在衰退的行業。
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And I had to meet and speak with these people
因爲我上次在 TED 提到了 互動列印的技術,
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without judgment.
因此有些人認為 那或許可以拯救這行業。
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I had to let myself understand them,
所以呢,察覺你內心的偏執, 嘗試化敵為友吧。
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and in return, they began to understand me.
謝謝。
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Well, six months later, they asked me to join the committee
(掌聲)
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that regulates the press.
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And a few times a year, I sip tea and dip biscuits
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with the likes of Daily Mail editor Paul Dacre, who says to me,
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"So, Kate, how have your last few months been?"
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And I respect them.
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And I'm now one of three members of the public
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who has a seat at the table --
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not because I'm different,
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but because my voice counts, just like anybody else.
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And the irony is,
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every now and again, I'm asked to visit those printing presses
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of this declining industry,
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because some people think
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that the technology I spoke about here, last time at TED, my interactive print,
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might actually help save them.
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So beware of your inner bigot,
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and make friends from your enemies.
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Thank you.
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(Applause)