he only ever had one goal.

他的目標始終只有一個

To wipe out half the universe.

消滅半個宇宙

The left half.

左半邊的

If he gets all the Infinity Stones...

如果他得到所有的無限寶石......

Nobody move!

大家不准動！

I dropped a stone.

我掉了一塊石頭

...he can do it with the snap of his fingers.

......他可以在彈指之間完成

- What are you doing? - Nothing.

- 你在做什麼？ - 什麼都沒有

Are you one of those people who can't snap their fingers?

你是那種不會彈手指的人嗎?

No. My hands are just greasy.

不，我的手很油膩

Tell me his name again.

再說一次他的名字

Fanos.

剎諾斯

I thought it started with a "T".

我以為它是以“ㄙ”開頭的

It does.

它是啊

Say it again.

再說一遍

Fanos.

剎諾斯

Are you saying "Fanos"?

你在說“剎諾斯”嗎？

With an "F"?

用“ㄕ”？

No, I'm saying "Fanos".

不，我在說“剎諾斯”

OK, all I'm hearing is "Fanos".

好的，我只聽到“剎諾斯”

Well you're crazy because I'm saying "Fanos"!

那麼你瘋了，因為我在說“剎諾斯”！

OK, so you can't snap your fingers, you can't say "Thanos"...

好 所以你不能彈你的手指 你不能說“薩諾斯”...

There's a lot of things I can do!

我可以做很多事情！

You've just happened to stumble across my two disabibble-ies.

你只是剛好偶然發現了我的兩個障礙

Well done to you.

你好棒棒

I am sorry, Vis.

我很抱歉幻視

It is too distracting.

這太讓人分心了

We have to get it removed.

我們必須把它拿掉

Don't worry - they assured me it is a painless procedure.

別擔心 他們向我保證 過程絕對無痛

Either I've finally hit puberty... or...

要嘛我終於到了青春期......或者......

Oh my god!

哦，我的天啊！

The Chrysler building looks so majestic this morning!

克萊斯勒大廈今天早上看起來如此宏偉！

Oop. We're in trouble.

噢 我們有了麻煩

That giant Froot Loop looks just as scary when it's completely out of focus.

那個巨大的穀物圈看起來 跟完全沒對到焦的時候一樣可怕

Hey, Pete.

嘿 彼得

So you're Spider-Man, huh? That's cool.

所以你是蜘蛛人哼？ 酷喔

Dang it!

該死的！

Oh, MJ - You can't tell anyone, OK?

哦，MJ 你不能告訴任何人，好嗎？

Trust me.

相信我

I won't "say" a word.

我不會“說”一個字

What's that sound?

那是什麼聲音？

Nothing.

沒有

I gotta go.

我要走了

My spider fingers!

我的蜘蛛手指！

Engage all defences.

啟動全面防禦 (我選擇保持緘默)

Close the back fence also.

後圍欄也要關

And get this man a shaving kit.

再給這個人一個剃刀

Welcome back, Captain America.

歡迎回來，美國隊長

I'm not Captain America anymore.

我不再是美國隊長了

Oh I heard about this.

哦，我聽說過這個

You are "Nomad", yes?

你是“流浪者”，是嗎？

No.

不是

I am...

我是...

Captain Amish!

艾美許隊長！

And I now use my superhuman strength to raise barns

我現在用我超人般的力量來經營穀倉

and churn unprecedented quantities of butter.

攪拌超級多的奶油

So I can't help you save the world,

所以我不能幫你拯救世界

but if you want something to spread on your bread, give me a call.

但如果你想要一些東西塗麵包的東西 可以給我打通電話

Oh wait - I don't have a phone.

等等 我沒有電話

Hey Thanos,

嘿 薩諾斯

want to get stoned?

想被丟石頭？

No, Loki!

不，洛基！

Don't bow to peer pressure!

不要屈服於同儕壓力！

Bow to skull pressure!

想想我頭上的壓力！

Like sooooo!

像這樣ㄤㄤㄤㄤ！

Who's got the Tesseract cracker?

誰有宇宙魔方鉗？

Thank you.

謝謝

Oh, goodie.

哦，好欸

I was hoping I'd get this one.

我正想要得到這個

Who the hell are you three?

你們三個到底是誰？

"Three"?

“三個”？

There's six of us.

我們有六個人

Fool, are you blind?!

笨蛋，你瞎了嗎？

Of course I can only see half of you - I've lost an eye!

我當然只能看到你們之中的一半 我少了一隻眼睛！

That makes no sense.

這完全沒道理

Who said that??

誰說的？？

SHOW YOURSELF, SORCERESS!

現出你的原形，魔女！

We got one advantage:

我們唯一的優勢：

He's coming to us.

是他會主動找上門

Which means we save on travel expenses, visas, parking...

這代表我們省下旅費、簽證、停車...

Plus, we have what Thanos wants, so we can name our price -

加上 我們有薩諾斯想要的東西 所以我們可以自己喊價

six thousand, eight thousand...

六千...八千...

And then there's postage and handling, sales tax, finder's fee...

然後有郵資和手續費 消費稅、中介費...

We're looking at a cool twenty G's.

我們大概可以拿個200億喔

Easy.

小菜一碟

Aren't you... like, a billionaire?

你是不是......像 一個億萬富翁？

How do you think I became one?

你以為我是怎麼變成的？

Selling weapons to terrorists.

向恐怖分子出售武器

No. Common mistake.

不對 常見的誤解

It was swindling intergalactic supervillains.

這是在坑一個宇宙超級惡棍

OK, your plan sucks.

好的，你的計劃很鳥

Let me do the plan, cos I once came up with 12% of a plan and I saved a whole plan-et!

讓我來計劃，因為我曾經只想到12％的計劃，然後救了一個星球！ (註：最後一句話的星球諧音計畫)

I figure, 30% of plan...

我想想看，計劃個30%......

should be enough to save the universe.

應該足夠拯救宇宙

Um... that's some questionable math, Peter.

呃...那是一些有問題的數學，彼得

Shut up, Peter!

閉嘴，彼得！

Quick question: how do you pronounce your name?

快問快答：你的名字怎麼念？

Is it "Thainoss"? Is it "Thainose"?

是“撒諾斯”嗎？還是“灑諾斯”？

Is it "Thanoss"? Is it "Fanoss"?

它是“薩諾斯”嗎？它是“剎諾斯”嗎？

Or is it...

或者是...

"The Anus"?

“諾屎”？ (註：諾屎原文與肛門同字)

No one's... called me that since...

沒有人......這樣叫我了 自從...

Hey look everyone - it's "The Anus"!

嘿大家看 - 這是“諾屎”！

Check out his proctology glove.

看看他的直腸手套

Oh look - he's so embarrassed he's turning pink!

哦，看他很尷尬 他變成了粉紅色了！

I'm not The Anus anymore!

我不再是諾屎了！

YOW!!!

呀！

Wrong... hand!

錯......手！

Oh hey, "Iron Spider".

哦，嘿 “鋼鐵蛛”

Mr Stark?

史塔克先生？

What... are you wearing?

你穿的是啥？

Well, you stole the last of my iron so I guess I'm "Lycra Spandex Man" now.

這個嘛你偷了最後一根鐵 所以我猜我是“萊卡纖維人”了

See this?

看到這個了嗎？

That's on you.

這是你的錯

Speaking of name changes,

說到換名字

I'm not Black Widow anymore.

我不再是黑寡婦了

I'm Blonde Homewrecker.

我是金情婦

I'm seeing all these guys.

我在物色這群傢伙

STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!

離我的男人遠一點！

I can't.

我辦不到

It's my character now.

這是我現在的角色

I wuv you, Fanos.

我愛你，剎諾斯

Don't touch me - you're just a publicity stunt.

不要碰我，你只是一個宣傳噱頭

Still less painful than botox!

還是沒有打肉毒痛苦！

Shhh.

噓~

Soon your skin will be as smooth as mine!

很快地 你的皮膚就會像我一樣光滑！

Paper... covers... rock!

紙...包...石頭！

I FORGOT ABOUT PAPER!!!

我忘記紙啦！

I'm Peter, by the way.

對了，我叫彼得

Doctor Strange.

奇異博士

Oh. We're using our made-up names.

哦，用藝名是吧?

In that case, I am...

這樣的話，我叫...

Professor Queer.

酷兒教授 (同志)

No wait - that doesn't work.

不等等 這樣不行

Um... I am...

呃...我...

Professor...

教授...

Unusual...

異常...

But... Unusual In A Way That Is...

但是...不尋常的是...

Mysterious...

神秘...

And Dangerous...

和危險...

And...

和...

Attractive...

有吸引力的...

To...

對於...

Girls.

女孩

PHD.

博士

Just rolls off the tongue.

簡單又好念

Yeah!

是啊！

"The two people who make these videos

"諾屎"將會回歸

have absolutely not forced us to do this call to acting".

製作這些影片的兩個人

"Call to ACTION".

絕對沒有強迫我們 做這個呼籲才取行痛

OK, here's the plan:

“呼籲採取行動”。

We ask them to subscribe to the channel,

好的，計劃如下：

and that way, we can go back to guarding the galaxy.

我們要求他們訂閱這頻道

We see you up there, by the way!

這樣我們就可以回去守衛星際

You're not fooling anybody.

對了，我們看的到你們在上面！

I... am...

你們騙不了任何人

Groot!

我是... (快...)

[THANOS] Arh!!

格魯特！ (..訂閱)

Something just bit me.

[薩諾斯] 喝！

That... really stings!

剛剛有東西咬了我

I'm feeling light-headed.

那......真的很刺！

I should have sprayed... myself...

我感到頭腦清醒

before I went outside.

我應該噴...自己...

[THUD, UN-SHRINK NOISE]

在我出去之前

[WASP] "Wasp" up, Thanos?

[變大的聲音]

Ugh.

[黃蜂女] “蜂”起來啊，薩諾斯？

I need to get a better catchphrase.

痾