"How I Got Dumped" stories from you guys.

幾位男士們「我是這樣被甩的」故事大集

Here we go. This first one's from @kyleosmon.

首先來自 @kyleosmon

He said...

他說

A girl in middle school cancelled our movie date over voicemail.

一位中學的女生透過語音訊息，取消了我們的電影約

My parents heard the message before I did and woke me up to tell me. So essentially my parents broke up with me.

我爸媽捷足先登，在我起床前聽了我的訊息並告訴我；總之，是我和我爸媽翻臉了

It's like, "What's going on?"

感覺像是「有沒有搞錯？」

Wake up!

太陽曬屁股囉 !

This ones from @ItsNotTheFall.

這則來自 @ItsNotTheFall

"It's not the fall"?

It's not the fall？

Is that a famous thing?

你聽過嗎 ?

It's not, it's not the fall.

It's not, it's not the fall.

Talking about seasons?

跟季節有關嗎 ?

It's not the fall that hurts...

不是摔跤的媽媽呼呼

The coffee? The bunk?

不然是咖啡的熱呼呼 ? 還是逃跑的氣呼呼 ?

The rehab?

勒戒?

I'm thinking skiing. I'm thinking skiing.

我想到的是滑雪的摔跤，是滑雪

Oh, I was thinking falling from grace, yeah.

我想到的是失寵

Oh, you were thinking fall from grace.

喔，你覺得是失寵

Yeah, like, you know, you hit rock bottom,

沒錯，跌到谷底

you have to go to rehab. Something like that, whatever.

你必須去勒戒，諸如此類的

-Everything okay, man?

你有事嗎 ?

I'm sleeping on my couch in the office.

現在我都在辦公室臥睡

We'll talk about this later. We shouldn't say this --

我們等會談好嗎 ? 不要在電視上

shouldn't do it on national television.

談論這個好嗎 ?

This is from @ItsNotTheFall.

來自 @ItsNotTheFall

She says..

她說

I was waiting for my boyfriend at a restaurant when the waiter came and removed the other chair and place setting.

當時我在餐廳等我男友。結果服務生過來，把他的椅子移走，幫我擺盤

He said they'd received a phone call and I no longer needed the other setting.

他說他們接到一通電話，說我不需要另一位的預約了

-Oh, come on! -It's not the fall.

妳嘛幫幫忙 ! 這何止摔了一跤

-Yeah, not the fall. -Holy moly.

根本摔好摔滿，媽媽咪呀

If that ever happened... Wow, wow, wow.

要是發生在我身上，哇哇哇

This one's from @notglue.

來自 @notglue

-Not the fall and not glue.

此「跤」非彼「膠」

-Not glue. -That's not glue, dude.

老兄，不要亂「膠」好嗎 ?

Andrew Karn.

Andrew Karn 請你冷靜

He says...

他說

My girlfriend had a dream she was getting mugged and I wasn't helping her.

我女友做了夢後結屎臉，說我在夢裡沒有幫她

She woke up and broke up with me for not defending her...in her dream.

起床後就和我分手了，就因為在夢裡我沒有救她

-"I had nothing to do --" -There's other stuff going on.

我能怎麼辦，都自顧不暇了

-This one's from @matadorchick.

來自 @matadorchick 的貼文

-Ooh. Nice. No bull.

不賴，很中肯

-She likes matadors. -Yeah.

她喜歡鬥牛士喔

-She says...

她說

After a fight, my boyfriend threw up his hands and said, "Well folks, that's the ball game."

吵了一架後，我男友雙手一攤說道：「這就是『人蔘』。」

What?

蝦米 ?

That's it.

就這樣吧

Well, folks, that's the ball game.

人生就像一場球賽

Lates.

結束了

This one's from @Ash10G.

這則來自 @Ash10G

She says...

她說

My boyfriend told me he "doesn't have the work ethic" to keep me happy.

我男友告訴我：「他沒有做好回家功課」來讓我開心

-This last one's from @kalsimanmeet.

最後一則來自 @kalsimanmeet

He says...

他說

My girlfriend asked me how to block someone on WhatsApp.

我女友問我要怎麼在 WhatsApp 上封鎖別人

After I sent the last piece of the instructions, I noticed I wasn't able to send her messages anymore.

就在我給她最後一則訊息後，才發覺我再也無法傳訊息給她了

There you have it!

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