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  • I wanna be the best.

    我想成為最棒的

  • I wanna be number one.

    我想當第一

  • That's right.

    這就對了

  • Keith first.

    Keith 先來

  • - Keith first. - Keith first.

    -Keith 你先吃 -Keith 第一個吃唷

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • I want to be number one.

    人家想要當第一名

  • Today we're gonna eat like Donald Trump

    今天我們要吃得像川普

  • for all of our meals.

    每一餐都是

  • Mm-hmm.

    沒錯

  • For breakfast, we have an Egg McMuffin

    早餐吃個滿福堡

  • and a Diet Coke with a straw

    用吸管喝杯健怡可樂

  • and no coffee.

    然後不要咖啡

  • (somber music)

    (憂鬱的音樂)

  • (groans)

    (抱怨)

  • It's good.

    不錯吃啦

  • How many Diet Cokes?

    有幾杯健怡可樂啊?

  • Are we having one with every meal?

    每餐都要喝一杯嗎?

  • You're having twelve.

    要喝十二杯

  • What, I'm not drinking 12.

    什麼!我才不要喝十二杯!

  • I don't drink 12 glasses of water.

    我連水都不會喝到十二杯

  • Uh uh.

    我也不會

  • Does he just have it, like, in an IV bag?

    他是怎樣,把可樂裝在輸液袋裡嗎?

  • (burps) (sighs)

    (打嗝) (嘆氣)

  • I've eaten half of this and I wanna take a nap.

    我吃一半就開始想睡了

  • This truly is fine dining.

    這確實是不錯的用餐方式

  • Mm-hm

    沒錯

  • You know, it's fine.

    你知道的,就蠻好的啦

  • Think we're gonna go get back to work

    現在我們要回去工作囉

  • and then we'll come back

    等等會再回來

  • and have some delicious lunch.

    享用美味的午餐

  • I'm excited.

    我很興奮唷

  • How are you drinking that?

    你怎麼喝得下去啊?

  • I hate myself.

    我就討厭自己嘛

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • Sir...

    先生...

  • - Please enjoy. - What the fuck is this?

    - 請用 - 這是什麼鬼東西?

  • Why bother drinking a sugar-free beverage if you're just gonna eat sugar next to it?

    如果都要吃甜的了,幹嘛還喝無糖飲料?

  • How is it?

    味道如何?

  • Dry...like my soul.

    像...我的靈魂一樣乾

  • Well, it's lunchtime.

    午餐時間到了

  • Lunch.

    午餐唷

  • We had our three cookie snack.

    我們吃了三塊餅乾當點心

  • Mm-hmm, delicious.

    沒錯,好好吃

  • I've got two Diet Cokes on my table.

    桌上有兩杯健怡可樂

  • What have we got today for lunch?

    今天午餐吃什麼呢?

  • Okay.

    好喔

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • - Wow. - Wow.

    - 天啊 - 天啊

  • Wow.

    喔天啊

  • Two Big Macs, two fish fillets.

    兩個大麥克、兩個麥香魚堡

  • Remove bread from sandwiches,

    把堡上的麵包都拿掉

  • add lots of ketchup,

    淋上超多番茄醬

  • eat with knife and fork

    並用刀叉進食

  • or

    或是

  • pizza.

    披薩

  • Scrape all toppings off and only eat that,

    只吃上面刮下來的配料

  • eat with knife and fork.

    並用刀叉進食

  • No, no,

    不、不

  • - Why are you taking my bread? - Wait, what?

    - 幹嘛把我的麵包拿走啊? - 等等,是怎樣?!

  • Why get a Big Mac if you take the bread away?

    如果不想吃麵包,幹嘛點大麥克啊!

  • That's kind of the special part of the Big Mac.

    麵包也算是大麥克的亮點啊

  • I'm taking that lettuce back.

    我要把生菜拿回來

  • No, Aria don't do it.

    Aria 停下來啊!

  • Oh, God.

    老天啊

  • No!

    不!

  • Look at how he gooped out

    看看他到底

  • all the ketchup into little dollops.

    怎麼把番茄醬擠成小塊狀的

  • It's cute but it's aggressive.

    蠻可愛的,但也很有侵略性的感覺

  • No, I'm hungry.

    不!我好餓啊!

  • That's like nothing.

    這根本有吃沒吃都一樣

  • This is not a meal.

    這不算是一餐

  • It's a beautiful treat.

    這很美好呀

  • No, you're taking the bread away.

    你要把麵包拿走了

  • No.

    不要啊

  • How can you eat things like this?

    這些東西你怎麼吃得下去?

  • You want this?

    這喝這個嗎

  • Thank you.

    多謝了

  • This is how babies eat.

    這是嬰兒在吃的

  • - That's a large baby. - This is what babies eat.

    - 還是個巨嬰呢 - 嬰兒都吃這種東西

  • This is how babies eat.

    嬰兒都這樣吃的

  • Babies eat ketchup

    他們吃番茄醬

  • and they eat frozen food that's been baked.

    還有加熱的冷凍食品

  • Do we have any more?

    還有嗎?

  • Alright that's enough sludge after this, monsieur.

    好了先生,泥狀物已經夠了喔

  • I think you need more. You just need one more.

    我覺得不夠,你需要再多一點

  • No more, no sir, no thank you, sir.

    這樣就可以了,謝謝你

  • There's so much ketchup on my plate.

    我盤子上有好多番茄醬

  • You want more ketchup?

    要更多番茄醬嗎?

  • No.

    不要

  • I'm fucking hungry, okay.

    我快餓死了

  • I'm sorry for being very aggressive right now in this moment.

    很抱歉我現在侵略性這麼強

  • I need

  • the

  • fucking food.

    食物啊!

  • Like, I'm not full.

    我根本不飽

  • You ate a lot, though and I'm proud of you.

    吃得真多,以你為榮

  • (burps)

    (打嗝)

  • (laughing)

    (笑)

  • - My nose is running. - He's going through a lot.

    - 我在流鼻水了 - 他經歷了很多

  • He's going through a lot.

    他經歷太多了

  • Oh, my God, why is this happening?

    老天啊!現在發生什麼事了?

  • Aria, Aria.

    等等 Aria

  • Blow, blow, that's good.

    擤、擤,很好

  • I am baby.

    我就是個嬰兒啊

  • (burps)

    (打嗝)

  • You're killing my friend.

    你殺了我朋友

  • Well, we'll see you in a little bit

    我們等等見吧

  • when you bring us some more delicious food.

    只要你帶更好吃的食物來

  • Bye.

    拜拜

  • Need some water.

    我要水

  • You want some Diet Coke?

    你要健怡可樂嗎?

  • No.

    不要!

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • It's the middle of the work day and I still have all of these fucking Diet Cokes. I feel like shit. I wonder how Keith's doing.

    現在是工作中,而我依然喝著這些該死的健怡可樂,感覺糟透了!我好奇 Keith 現在感覺如何?

  • Feel like garbage.

    感覺糟透了

  • I got a headache.

    我頭好痛

  • Can't have any more Diet Coke, I'm gonna die.

    無法再喝健怡可樂了,要死啦

  • Excuse me, sir. Your afternoon Diet Cokes.

    先生抱歉打擾了,這是您的下午茶健怡可樂

  • (groans)

    (抱怨)

  • What?

    啥?

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • (can snaps)

    (打開易開罐)

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • I really just really need some water.

    我真的只想喝水啊

  • I will get you some water.

    我給您倒些水來

  • I haven't had any water.

    我到現在都還沒喝半滴水

  • Well, does Trump drink water?

    川普到底喝不喝水啊?

  • Thank you.

    謝囉

  • (slurps loudly)

    (大聲地喝水)

  • It's dinner time.

    晚餐時間到啦

  • It's dinner time.

    晚餐囉

  • (lively horn music)

    (活潑的號角音樂)

  • (surprised exclaiming)

    (驚喜地歡呼)

  • Well-done steak with tureens of gravy,

    全熟牛排配上一個湯碗的肉汁

  • bacon crumble salad

    培根丁沙拉

  • to be slathered with roquefort dressing.

    上面塗上一層厚厚的羅克福乾酪

  • I'm a ranch bitch.

    老娘就是農村女孩

  • I'm also a ranch bitch.

    人家也是農村女孩

  • I haven't had a well-done steak in over a decade.

    我都超過十年沒吃過全熟牛排了

  • How much sauce does this guy ingest?

    這傢伙到底要攝取多少醬料啊?

  • You've turned my plate into a gravy boat.

    我的盤子都變成肉汁船了

  • The steak might be floating at this point,

    此時此刻牛排都在漂浮著吧

  • there's so much gravy.

    因為肉汁多成這樣

  • This is like a decent meal at my auntie's house.

    這好像在我阿姨家吃的一餐,挺像樣的

  • Your Aunt Keith's house?

    你的 Keith 阿姨家?

  • Auntie.

    我阿姨啦 (auntie 發音被誤聽成 Aunt Keith)

  • Oh.

    原來如此

  • You can be my Aunt Keith if you want.

    你想當我的 Keith 阿姨也可以

  • I would love to be Aunt Keith.

    我很樂意當你的 Keith 阿姨

  • That'd be great.

    感覺很讚

  • Oh my God, lil' aunt.

    天啊,我當小阿姨耶

  • Come on in, I'm cooking something for you.

    快進來吧,我為你煮了些好吃的

  • Is your friend coming tonight for dinner?

    你朋友要來一起吃晚餐嗎?

  • Okay, I'll make a little extra.

    這樣的話我得多做一點才行

  • I mean, the steak is actually pretty good.

    其實牛排蠻不錯的

  • Oh, God, oh, God.

    噢天、天啊

  • This isn't that bad to me.

    我覺得這餐不差耶

  • Aw, you're crushing that steak.

    你在摧殘那塊牛排

  • I'm starving.

    因為我好餓

  • So do you want dessert?

    所以要來點甜點嗎?

  • Hell fucking yeah.

    當然好啊

  • The dessert is chocolate cream pie

    甜點是巧克力鮮奶油派

  • and add two scoops of ice cream.

    加上兩球冰淇淋

  • Just dump it out, just dump the bowl.

    倒出來,整碗倒出來吧

  • Just yeah, yeah, pour more liquid on my food, Aria.

    對啦對啦,食物上淋再多液體都不夠

  • I'm gonna fucking kill the intern.

    我要殺了那個實習生

  • (can snaps)

    (打開易開罐)

  • Goddammit.

    該死的

  • If you don't even see me take one sip

    如果你看我一滴都不沾

  • out of a new one that you gave me,

    那罐新的健怡可樂

  • why would you give me another one?

    幹嘛再給我一罐?

  • (straw clicking)

    (吸管發出喀嚓聲)

  • I'm pretending this is wine.

    我會把這當作紅酒

  • What a time we had today.

    今天就這樣過了

  • I haven't peed.

    我還沒上過廁所

  • You need to go home

    你要回家

  • and you get a big jug, a big bowl--

    然後喝一大罐、或是一碗的--

  • You know what I always say,

    你知道我總說什麼

  • "Go home, have a bowl of water."

    「回家去喝一碗水。」

  • Drink some water.

    喝點水吧

  • Have like a kale smoothie in the mornings.

    早上喝個甘藍菜冰沙吧

  • Well, we'll see you next time on

    那我們下次在

  • We Eat Like A World Leader.

    《吃得像世界領袖一樣》見囉

  • (laughs)

    (笑)

  • (choir music)

    (合唱音樂)

  • I just wanted to let you know that

    我只想跟你說

  • last night at about 1:30

    昨天大概凌晨一點半時

  • I had severe stomach pains and then proceeded

    我肚子痛得要命

  • to fully shit my brains out.

    然後拉得一蹋糊塗

  • I am so sorry.

    真的很抱歉啊!

  • It's okay, I just wanted you to know.

    沒關係,我只是想說

  • I hope we're still friends.

    希望我們還是朋友

  • We are, it's cool, it's chill.

    我們是啊,別擔心

  • It's not the worst thing I've put in my body either.

    反正這也不是我吃過最糟糕的東西

  • (On March 2, 2018, reports emerged that Trump had begun eating healthier on doctor's orders.)

    (2018 年 3 月 2 日時,報導指出川普已經在醫師的叮囑下,飲食變得比較健康了)

  • America, America

    (美國愛國歌曲:美哉美國) ♪ 美國,美國 ♪

  • God shed his grace on thee

    ♪ 受天上澤其恩 ♪

I wanna be the best.

我想成為最棒的

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吃飯川普大!一整天都吃得像川普 (We Eat Like Donald Trump For A Day)

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    Liang Chen 發佈於 2018 年 09 月 24 日
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