Name: 【TED】Shane Koyczan於TED演說 "To This Day" ... for the bullied and beautiful
Uploaded: 2013-03-10T08:17:39.000Z
Duration: 12 min 5 s

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I hid my heart under the bed, because my mother said,

我把心藏在床下，因為母親說。

"If you're not careful, someday someone's going to break it."

"如果你不小心，總有一天會有人打破它。"

Take it from me. Under the bed is not a good hiding spot.

拿去吧床底下不是一個好的藏身之處。

I know because I've been shot down so many times

我知道是因為我被擊落過很多次了

I get altitude sickness just from standing up for myself.

And that's hard to do if you don't know who you are.

如果你不知道自己是誰，那就很難做到。

We were expected to define ourselves at such an early age,

我們被期望在這麼小的時候就定義自己。

and if we didn't do it, others did it for us.

如果我們不做，別人就幫我們做。

And at the same time we were being told what we were,

而同時我們也被告知我們是什麼人。

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

I always thought that was an unfair question.

我一直認為這是個不公平的問題。

It presupposes that we can't be what we already are.

它的前提是，我們不能成為我們已有的東西。

當我還是個孩子的時候，我想成為一個男人。

I wanted a registered retirement savings plan

我想要一個註冊的退休儲蓄計劃

that would keep me in candy long enough to make old age sweet.

這將使我在糖果足夠長的時間，使老年甜蜜。

當我還是個孩子的時候，我想刮鬍子。

When I was eight, I wanted to be a marine biologist.

當我八歲時，我想成為一名海洋生物學家。

當我九歲的時候，我看了電影 "大白鯊"。

And when I was 10, I was told that my parents left because they didn't want me.

而在我10歲的時候，有人告訴我，我的父母離開了，因為他們不想要我。

When I was 11, I wanted to be left alone.

當我11歲的時候，我想一個人待著。

When I was 12, I wanted to die. When I was 13, I wanted to kill a kid.

當我12歲的時候，我想死。當我13歲的時候，我想殺一個孩子。

When I was 14, I was asked to seriously consider a career path.

在我14歲的時候，有人讓我認真考慮職業道路。

And they said, "Choose something realistic."

他們說："選擇一些現實的東西。"

We were being told that we somehow must become

我們被告知，我們必須以某種方式成為。

to inherit the masquerade of what we will be.

And I wondered, what made my dreams so easy to dismiss?

我在想，是什麼讓我的夢想如此容易被否定？

My dreams are self-conscious and overly apologetic.

我的夢境是自覺的，過分的歉意。

They're standing alone at the high school dance,

I was going to be a wrestler. I had it all figured out.

我本來是要成為一個摔跤手的。我都想好了

My finishing move was going to be The Trash Compactor.

我的收官之作是《垃圾壓縮器》。

My saying was going to be, "I'm taking out the trash!"

And then this guy, Duke "The Dumpster" Droese,

然後這個傢伙，"垃圾箱 "杜克-德魯斯。

I was crushed, as if by a trash compactor.

我被壓扁了，就像被垃圾壓縮器壓扁了一樣。

I thought to myself, "What now? Where do I turn?"

我心想："現在怎麼辦？我該去哪裡？"

Like a boomerang, the thing I loved came back to me.

就像一個迴旋鏢，我愛的東西又回到了我的身邊。

One of the first lines of poetry I can remember writing

我記得我寫的第一句詩是這樣寫的

was in response to a world that demanded I hate myself.

是為了迴應一個要求我恨自己的世界。

從15歲到18歲，我一直都很討厭自己

for becoming the thing that I loathed: a bully.

因為成為了我所厭惡的東西：一個惡霸。

"I will love myself despite the ease with which

"我會愛我自己，儘管我很容易...

Standing up for yourself doesn't have to mean

站在自己的立場上，並不意味著...

I traded in homework assignments for friendship,

then gave each friend a late slip for never showing up on time,

然後給每個朋友開了一張遲到單，因為他們從來沒有按時出現過。

而在大多數情況下，根本沒有。

I gave myself a hall pass to get through each broken promise.

我給了自己一個殿堂級的通行證，讓自己度過每一個違背承諾的日子。

And I remember this plan, born out of frustration

我還記得這個計劃，源於挫敗感

從一個一直叫我 "Yogi "的孩子，

then pointed at my tummy and said, "Too many picnic baskets."

然後指著我的肚子說："野餐籃子太多了。"

Turns out it's not that hard to trick someone,

He got his paper back expecting a near-perfect score,

他拿到試卷後，期待著一個近乎完美的分數。

and couldn't believe it when he looked across the room at me and held up a zero.

當他看著對面的我，舉起一個零的時候，不敢相信。

I knew I didn't have to hold up my paper of 28 out of 30,

我知道我不用撐起我那張30分中的28分的試卷。

but my satisfaction was complete when he looked at me, puzzled,

但當他看著我，疑惑地看著我時，我的滿足感就完成了。

and I thought to myself, "Smarter than the average bear, motherfucker."

我想，"比一般的熊更聰明，混蛋。"

I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing.

我以前一直以為豬排和空手道排是一回事。

And because my grandmother thought it was cute,

and because they were my favorite, she let me keep doing it.

因為他們是我的最愛，她讓我繼續做下去。

One day, before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees,

有一天，我才發現胖孩子不是為了爬樹而設計的。

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【TED】Shane Koyczan於TED演說 "To This Day" ... for the bullied and beautiful

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