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  • -Trapp, I've heard it with my own ears, OK? - No.

    - Trapp,我親耳聽過好嗎! - 沒有。

  • - I promise you. - Fine, look.

    - 絕對有!- 好啦!

  • - I'm looking it up. - OK.

    - 我現在來查。 - 好!

  • Can birds cough?

    鳥會咳嗽嗎?

  • (gasps) Oh my god!

    (倒抽一口氣) 天啊!

  • Your phone doesn't have a case.

    你的手機沒有手機殼!

  • Yeah, I know, so?

    我知道啊,所以呢?

  • I'm here for protective services.

    我是來執行保護性服務的。

  • I wanna speak to Mr. Mike Trapp about a caseless phone.

    我想找 Mike Trapp 先生談談關於手機沒有手機殼的問題。

  • Yeah, he's right here.

    他就在這!

  • Shit, when I think about what that phone must have been through!

    X 的,我不敢想像那支手機到底經歷了什麼。

  • Protective services?

    保護性服務?

  • I don't, hey, hey!

    我根本沒...嘿你幹嘛?!

  • It's gonna be OK.

    你會沒事的!

  • Hey, the way I take care of my phone is my business!

    嘿!怎麼處理我的手機是我的事!

  • And now it's my business because this looks like negligence to me.

    而現在我管定了,因為在我看來這是 (照顧) 疏忽。

  • Just another deadbeat who's too focused on his own life to protect the small fragile one in his care.

    又是一個遊手好閒、只在乎自己而無法保護脆弱的小傢伙的人!

  • Negligence?

    疏忽?

  • No, it just doesn't have a case, it's fine.

    不,只是沒有手機殼而已,沒什麼大不了的。

  • Got any scratches or dents you wanna show me, buddy?

    孩子,你身上有任何刮痕或凹痕嗎?

  • OK, can you stop harassing it?

    好了,可以不要再騷擾它了嗎?

  • Come on, phone, let's get out a here.

    手機,我們走吧!

  • I know your type!

    我了解你這種人!

  • You think you're gonna live forever.

    就是那種覺得自己死不了。

  • No.

    不是這樣的!

  • Cruising 90 down the highway, seatbelt off, wind in your hair, booze in your brain.

    在公路上漫無目的地超速、不繫安全帶、讓風恣意吹亂頭髮、喝酒喝昏頭。

  • No.

    並沒有這樣!

  • You wanna fuck your own life up, pal, you go right ahead!

    老兄,你想毀掉你的人生,慢走不送!

  • But you gotta phone now.

    但你有了手機,

  • You gotta think of your phone!

    你要想想你的手機!

  • Think of the phone!

    想想你的手機!

  • Don't you love it?

    你不愛它嗎?

  • Yes, I love my phone.

    我當然愛我的手機!

  • I love a lot a things about it.

    它的很多點我都愛,

  • I love how thin it is.

    我愛它是如此的薄,

  • Then make it thicker.

    讓它變厚一點啊!

  • I love how responsive the touchscreen is.

    我愛它的觸控螢幕是如此的靈敏,

  • Then cover the screen with plastic.

    那就用手機殼保護好螢幕啊!

  • I love how carefully it was designed.

    我愛它的設計是如此精細,

  • Then hide that design under a big, yellow minions case.

    那就用又大又黃的小小兵手機套保護它吧!

  • No.

    不要!

  • No!

    絕對不要!

  • Phones shouldn't have to live like this.

    手機不該過這樣的生活。

  • You don't need to listen to them yelling.

    你不必聽他們大呼小叫。

  • You take care of your phone the way you want,

    你用你的方式照顧手機。

  • and I'll take care of mine the way I want.

    我用我的方式照顧。

  • But you're not taking care of it.

    但是你根本沒照顧它啊!

  • The world is a dangerous place,

    世界何其危險,

  • and you need to protect this.

    而你必須好好保護它!

  • I am protecting--

    我有在保護--

  • Let me paint you a little picture.

    讓我來描述一個情境:

  • God, no.

    拜託不要!

  • You come home after a long day, you're tired.

    一整天下來,你回到家已經累翻了,

  • You got your phone in your hand as you walk into the house.

    你拿著手機走進屋內,

  • You think, "Hey, maybe I'll just toss it on the coffee table."

    你會想「嘿,我就順手把手機丟在茶几上」。

  • See I wouldn't do that.

    聽著,我根本不會這樣做!

  • Just toss it right over there.

    丟在那就好。

  • Whoop, right onto the table.

    正好丟在桌上。

  • When all of a sudden, bam!

    忽然就「碰」的一聲!

  • Bet ya suddenly wish you had two inches

    我敢賭你會突然希望自己擁有,

  • of all-American vulcanized rubber

    一些如輪胎般堅固的橡膠!

  • around the most valuable thing you own!

    來保護你最珍貴的東西!

  • No, because I wouldn't toss it

    根本不會好嗎!我不會拿來丟!

  • because it doesn't have a case.

    因為沒有裝手機殼。

  • (scoffs)

    (嘲諷地一笑)

  • Lemme tell you a story.

    我跟你說個故事:

  • God fucking damn it!

    天啊,該死的!

  • I know this guy, a lot like you actually.

    我認識的一個人,其實跟你很像,

  • - Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

    - 哦,是嗎? - 對。

  • A lot like you.

    很像你,

  • He's out with his friends at a bar.

    他和朋友去酒吧,

  • He's got his phone, no case, just out on the table.

    他帶著沒有手機殼的手機,放在桌上,

  • OK, I'm going to stop you right there.

    好了,故事到這裡就好。

  • I would not put my phone on a table.

    因為我不會把手機放在桌上!

  • Well, you gotta take it out of your pocket.

    可你總是要從口袋裡拿出來啊!

  • Yeah, it's so bulky.

    對啊,手機那麼笨重。

  • It's not bulky because it doesn't have a case!

    沒有手機殼的手機一點都不笨重!

  • No need to be embarrassed.

    別覺得不好意思。

  • Yeah, we all do it.

    我們都有這樣的時候。

  • I don't.

    我並不覺得不好意思啊!

  • Look, my phone is either always in my pocket--

    聽著,我的手機不是在口袋--

  • Anyway, so this guy, he's having a great time--

    反正這傢伙玩得很高興,

  • - In a death grip in my hand-- - Boop!

    - 就是我緊抓在手上,-- - 然後,

  • - Just knock over that beer. - Or charging next to my bed.

    - 啤酒打翻了, - 或是在床邊充電。

  • - Spills all over the table! - Why would it need to be anywhere else?

    - 啤酒撒了滿桌, - 為什麼一定要放在其他地方?

  • Doesn't fall directly on the phone, but look at this.

    是沒有直接灑在手機上,但你看,

  • - Drip, drip, drip. Water damage - It's incredibly expensive.

    水就這樣滴下來造成傷害! -手機這麼貴!

  • Instant death!

    當場死亡!

  • Buddy, you gotta put on a centimeter of plastic around that phone

    老兄,你用個手機殼,

  • so you can toss it around with your friends.

    就可以隨便把玩手機!

  • You can crack walnuts with it, you can take it into the pool just like the rest of us decent folks who know how to protect something precious!

    可以用它來敲碎核桃,或把它帶進水池裡,就像我們這些體面的人類一樣懂得保護貴重物品!

  • Did you like the cocoa?

    你喜歡喝可可嗎?

  • I don't want to make my phone objectively worse

    我不想讓我的手機看起來更醜。

  • for just a little bit more security.

    就為了增加一點安全性!

  • Then I'm going to have to take it into protective custody.

    那我就要讓它接受保護性監禁了。

  • (groans) Fine, fine, I'll put a case on it.

    (抱怨) 好啦、好啦,我會裝上手機套!

  • We're gonna get you a case, OK?

    要幫你穿上手機殼囉,乖!

  • You're gonna be OK. (chuckles then gasps)

    你會沒事的 (輕笑著,之後倒抽一口氣)。

  • (phone clattering floor) - Oh.

    (手機嘩啦地摔在地上) - 噢!

  • [Both] That was your fault!

    (同時) 這是你的錯!

  • No, that was all you.

    不,都是你的錯!

  • - If you had a case on that,

    如果你有裝上手機套,

  • - it wouldn't have happened. - You dropped it!

    - 悲劇就不會發生! - 明明就是你摔的!

  • How is it my fault?

    怎麼就我的問題了?

  • Because if you had a case on it,

    因為如果你有裝殼,

  • it wouldn't have mattered!

    事態就不會這麼嚴重了!

  • - Not again! - I don't put a case on it--

    - 不!怎麼又來了! - 我不裝手機殼--

  • - Not again! (sobbing) - I don't drop my phone!

    - 不!怎麼又發生這種事! - 是因為我不會摔到手機!

  • Hi, it's Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor. Click here to subscribe. Click here for more fun things. And send help to keep me from sinking, please!

    嗨!我是 CollegeHumor 的 Mike Trapp,按這裡訂閱此頻道,按這裡看更多新鮮趣事,然後拜託讓我不要再往下沉了!

-Trapp, I've heard it with my own ears, OK? - No.

- Trapp,我親耳聽過好嗎! - 沒有。

字幕與單字
已審核 字幕已審核

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B1 中級 中文 美國腔 手機 手機殼 保護 照顧 不好意思 口袋

手機那麼可愛,怎麼可以不用手機殼保護人家! (This Monster Has No Phone Case)

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    Liang Chen 發佈於 2019 年 01 月 14 日
影片單字