Today we will teach you how to not fear the squat toilet.

今天就讓我們來教你如何克服蹲式馬桶的恐懼吧

Most case of STSD

多數STSD個案

Squat Toilet Stress Disorder

蹲式馬桶創傷後遺症[STSD]

are caused by improper squatting technique.

由不正確的蹲坐技法引起

First, you must learn how to squat the Japanese way.

首先 你必須學會如何用日本人的方式蹲下去

American squat like this.

美國人是像這樣蹲的

This squat is unstable,

這種蹲法並不穩

leaving you prone to falling.

容易讓你跌倒

stop it

夠了！

I'M TRYIN TO GO THE BATHROOM

我在試著上廁所;(

Japanese squat like this.

日本人的蹲法長這樣:)

To switch to flat foot squat,

要換成腳掌貼地的蹲法

you must shift your center of gravity forward.

你一定要把重心往前

This position BERY STABLE.

這個姿勢非常穩

Stop it!

喂 住手！>o

The most common squat toilet mistake

最常見用蹲式馬桶的錯誤

is not squatting far enough.

是蹲的不夠低

You may have heard that at least with squat toilet

至少你可能聽過用蹲式馬桶

you can get thigh workout while you pee.

能在尿尿時鍛練你的大腿肌肉

HA HA HA SO FUNNY JOKE

哈 哈 哈 真好笑的笑話 -v-"

Squat is RESTING POSITION

蹲坐是休息的姿勢

All the way down.

全身向下

It is not difficult position

這姿勢並不難

Unless you have

除非你有個

BIG BUTTO

大屁股

Because maybe it touches the floor.

因為屁股也許會踫到地板

You should not use squat toilet.

那你不應用蹲廁

When you use squat toilet,

在你用蹲廁時

you must pull pants below knees.

一定要把褲拉到膝下

Otherwise your pockets become upside down while you use toilet.

要不然蹲馬桶時，你口袋的東西會倒掉

Many squat toilets are auto-flushing.

很多蹲式馬桶是自動沖水的

Beeeeery dangerous situation.

這...是非常危險的情況

Many people every year tricked into giving sacrifice

每年都有很多人上獻祭品

to evil squat toilet gods.

給邪惡的蹲式馬桶大神*v*

Do not let them fool you.

不要讓牠耍你

Because IDIOTS LIKE YOU

因為像你一樣的笨蛋

is peeing incorrectly

用錯誤的方式尿尿

many times there is pee ALL OVER ZA FLOOR.

很多時候讓整個地板都是尿

And then some people is pressing flush

所以有些人會按沖水

with their pee shoes, too.

用他們滿是尿的鞋

Use toilet paper to flush.

或用衛生紙去按沖水

And hover above ground so that you do not touch the floor.

或用輕功按沖水，這樣就不會踫到地板

With these three tips

有這三個小技巧

squat toilets are easy and relaxing to use!

蹲式馬桶也可以用的容易又舒暢

DON'T STOP HOVERING

不要再用輕功

Many people find they enjoy squat toilets more

很多人發現他們享受用蹲式馬桶

once they know how to use them correctly

一旦知道蹲式馬桶的正確用法

because they are so quick to use

因為可以很快用完

and you do not have to touch anyshing.

又不用踫任何東西

I SAID DON'T STOP HOVERING.

我說了！不要再用輕功

Are you ready?

你準備好了嗎？

Mmhmm

嗯嗯....

Nope, I'm sorry.

對不起,還未準備好

I got your boobs. Not your face.

鏡頭拍的是胸,不是你的臉。

Can you hold it open until-

你要接著門直至

IT'S REALLY HARD TO BALANCE ON ONE LEG

用一隻腳去平衡真的超難

One more time IN THIS TOILET

拍多一次 在這個馬桶

yES

對

All right fine, I'll just hold the door shut again.

好 我會關多一次門

[gagging cough]

[咳嗽聲]

Yeah, I am. I just choked on my own spit.

呃。我只是被自己的排泄物窒到

Oh. I thought you were being dramatic.

噢。我覺得你扮得不錯 哈

You can hold your own door if you want.

若你想的話，可以自己按住那扇門

I have to say, I feel a bit weird using the disabled toilet.

我必須說，我用傷殘馬桶的話有點奇怪

Sorry, I'll say at the end it was for comedic effect!

抱歉，這是用作喜劇效果最後鏡頭了

Ow, my knees.

噢，我的膝蓋

This floor is hard and my knees are so bony

這地板也太硬了吧，我的膝蓋很痛