Dead Sea is 1,300 feet below sea level,

死海位於海平面下 1300 英呎

it's the lowest point on Earth.

地球表面最低漥的地區。

The water is so salty, it is literally impossible to sink

這裡的海水鹽分含量極高，身體不太可能往下沉

and yet, they have a lifeguard.

但旁邊還是有救生員。

(laughing)

(holy music)

Wow!

太讚了！

I can feel my body changing, all the salt.

這鹽水讓我全身起了變化。

My penis has been turned into a brined Vlasic pickle.

我那話兒現在就像一條醃黃瓜。

Be honest, am I too white?

說真的，我皮膚是不是太白了？

Yes, right?

對吧？

Too white.

真的太白了。

Quick question, are you here with your boyfriend?

很快問一下，妳跟男友一起來嗎？

No.

沒。

Okay, you're with me now.

很好，那我們在一起吧。

I took off my wedding ring, they said

我把婚戒拿掉了，因為有人說

you can't wear jewelry in here,

最好別配戴飾品下水

so that means I'm not married while I'm in the dead sea.

也就是說在死海裡我是單身狀態。

Why are you covered in this mud?

為什麼你全身塗滿泥巴？

You take mud from the Dead Sea

你可以從死海裡挖這些泥巴

and it has all those minerals and stuff.

它們富含礦物質之類的東西。

So you put it all over your body?

然後全身上下都用泥巴敷起來？

Yeah, yeah.

對啦，就是這樣。

Is this attractive, do I look attractive now?

好不好看？ 我這樣帥不帥？

Attractive Israeli man.

以色列帥哥一枚。

More attractive than...

還挺帥氣的…

without the mud.

跟沒塗泥巴比的話。

I am telling you the truth.

我只是實話實說。

I know, so you think I'm more attractive

我瞭啦，你的意思就是塗泥巴

covered in mud than as God made me.

我才會變帥。

I'm gonna go that way and I'm going to cry.

我現在要去旁邊哭哭了。

I am sorry!

對不起啦！

Too late for sorry!

來不及了！

May I help you?

有什麼需要服務的嗎？

Yes, can I get a glass of red wine?

我想點一杯紅酒。

and 600 glasses of water

外加 600 杯白開水

(piano)