At the end of the day, you know you can rely on them, and that they'll love you even through thick and thin.

總之，你知道你能信任他們，他們愛你，並能與你共患難

But what about those of us who come from dysfunctional families?

可是對於來自於不健全家庭的人而言，是這樣嗎？

And are the signs always clear and obvious, or can they be subtle and deceiving?

不健全家庭有明顯的特徵嗎？還是這些特徵非常的微小又不起眼？

Here are 8 common characteristics of a dysfunctional family.

以下是不健全家庭的八種特徵

1. Addiction

1. 成癮

Roughly 45% of the U.S. population has been exposed to some form of alcoholism or alcoholic behavior in their family.

美國大約有 45% 的人口生活在有酗酒者或酒後暴力行為者的家庭中

That's as many as 76 million people.

這大約是 7,600 百萬人

And approximately 26 million of those individuals are children.

其中大約 2,600 百萬人是孩童

The addiction can be drugs, alcohol, or a combination of both.

成癮包括毒品成癮、酒精成癮、或兩者皆成癮

Addicted parents can have negative financial, communicative, or connective impacts on the family,

父母是成癮者，對家中的經濟、溝通、關係都會有不良影響，

affecting every family member's ability to form close, healthy relationships with others.

其中也會影響每個家庭成員與他人建立親密和健康關係的能力

2. Perfectionism

2. 完美主義

This one can be difficult to spot, especially if a family looks picture-perfect on the outside.

這一點很難被察覺，尤其是那種表面上看似完美的家庭

When perfectionism is highly regarded, and children have to bear their parents' unrealistic expectations,

當完美主義被高舉，小孩就必須背負父母不切實際的期望

they may grow up with self-image and self-esteem issues, believing they'll never be good enough.

在成長的過程中，可能造成自我形象和自尊上的問題，總覺得自己永遠都不夠好

They also have a hard time going to their parents when they need emotional support,

當他們需要精神上的支持時，也不敢向父母表明

so they may learn to close themselves up and have trouble trusting people.

於是他們學會將自己封閉起來，並不輕易信任他人

When parents prioritize performance and results,

當父母優先關注的是孩子的表現和成績時，

their children never learn to accept and improve upon their mistakes.

小孩會變得不容易接受挫折，並不懂得如何從錯誤中學習

3. Abuse

3. 虐待

Abuse is another common characteristic of a dysfunctional family.

虐待是不健全家庭的常見特徵之一

It can be physical, emotional, and/or sexual.

包括生理、心理，和（或）性的虐待

Abuse can occur between parents, parent and child, or siblings.

此行為可發生在父母之間、父母與孩子之間，或兄弟姊妹之間

People use abuse to punish their families for (an) unwanted behavior, and stay in control when they believe they've been betrayed.

虐待會被用來懲罰家庭中不聽話的成員，並用來作為控制家中背叛者的手段

If you think you're being abused,

如果你認為你正在被虐待，

we encourage you to call your emergency hotline number.

我們鼓勵你趕快撥打緊急求助熱線

4. Unpredictability and fear

4. 不可預測性和恐懼感

Unpredictability and fear go hand-in-hand.

不可預測性和恐懼感兩者是密不可分的關係

It's a pattern often produced from abuse,

這通常是受虐下的產物

but can also stem from a family member's financial or emotional instability.

但也可能是因家庭成員經濟或精神上的不穩定而造成

Children who come from an unpredictable household suffer from low self-esteem issues,

在不可測的環境下長大的小孩會造成自尊心低落

and either grow up to become extremely responsible crowd-pleasers or end up mirroring their parents' toxic behaviors.

不是變得刻意去討好別人，就是會模仿父母的不良行為

Unpredictability and fear are results of overly rigid or religious upbringings,

不可預測性和恐懼感，來自過份嚴厲的管教或是受到宗教信仰的約束

when a family doesn't allow family members to form their own beliefs, aspirations, and interests.

家庭成員不被容許有各自的信仰、志向，及興趣

5. Conditional love

5. 有條件的愛

In dysfunctional families, conditional love is exercised by manipulative people.

在不健全的家庭中有條件的愛是操之於掌權者的手中

When a parent or spouse only gives others love when they want something, they're either insecure or selfish.

當父母或是配偶只在他們有所求時才給予愛，這表示他們缺乏安全感，要不就是很自私

For instance, a selfish mother might show love and support to their child just so that when the child reaches adulthood, they will take care of her.

例如，一個自私的母親給孩子愛和支持，其目的只是為了孩子長大後會照顧她

When love is conditional, it can make family members feel used or cheated.

當愛是有條件的時候，會讓家庭成員感到被利用或被欺騙

6. Lack of boundaries

6. 教導上缺乏清楚的界線

When a family doesn't establish healthy boundaries,

當一個家庭沒有給予成員清楚而健全的界線

members will often feel like they have no privacy, or aren't being respected.

家庭成員會常感到毫無隱私，或不被尊重

Parent who see their children as trophies or extensions of themselves are narcissistic,

自戀的父母會將小孩當成炫耀品或是自己的延伸

causing children to feel confused about their own identities when they aren't properly nurtured or encouraged.

這會導致孩子在尚未得到適當的培育或鼓勵時，產生自我認同的混淆

Boundaries are blurred when a parent tries to be controlling or dominant through anger.

當家長試圖透過生氣來控制或掌權時，界線就變得模糊

And children feel like they have no choice but to act or behave in certain ways to please their parent.

小孩會覺得別無選擇，只能乖乖照著父母想要的去做

As a result, they grow up feeling alienated or lost, and become overly self-critical.

這導致他們長大後產生疏離感或是迷失了自我，並變得過度自責

7. Lack of intimacy

7. 缺乏親密關係

Dysfunctional families often mistake codependency as intimacy.

不健全的家庭常誤以為互相依賴就是緊密關係的展現

In healthy families, parents teach their children how to be self-efficient.

在健全的家庭中父母會教導小孩如何獨立自主

But if a parent is scared of letting go, they'll make claims about being able to live without their kids if they grow up and leave.

但若家長害怕放手，他們會聲稱如果小孩長大後離開後，他們也能夠在沒有孩子的情況下生活

Likewise, a spouse who may show excessive clinginess to their partner.

同樣地，配偶可能對伴侶過份依賴

It's important for family members to be with each other because they want to, not because they have to.

對家庭成員而言，重要的是他們想要在一起，而不是被迫在一起。

Ultimately, love is a selfless act, and should never be pressured or forced.

最後，愛是一種無私的行為，永遠不應感到有壓力或被逼迫

8. Poor communication

8. 溝通不良

Family conflicts typically stem from poor communication.

家庭衝突通常源自於溝通不良

When people can't express themselves due to strained or nonexistent communication, they feel unheard, invisible, or misunderstood.

當人們因緊張或無效的溝通而無法表達自己時，他們會覺得被忽視或被誤解

Overall, dysfunctional families don't practice healthy communication skills,

總之，不健全家庭的人缺乏良好的溝通技巧

so members can be quick to react rather than waiting to listen and understand.

因此，成員往往遇問題立即做出反應，而不是等到傾聽和理解後再回應

The resulting arguments cause daily stress and challenges that tear the family apart.

這當中所造成的爭吵，會導致家中經常充滿著緊張和指責，這就是家庭破裂的原因

Does your family identify with any of these characteristics?

您的家庭是否有任何一項這些特徵？

What methods have you tried to bring the family back together?

你嘗試過什麼方法將家人團聚在一起？

Feel free to share your stories in the comments below.

請在下面的意見欄中分享您的故事

If you enjoyed this video, don't forget to check out our other social media, and subscribe to our channel for more content.

如果你喜歡這部影片請不要忘記去看看我們其他的社群媒體，並訂閱我們的頻道，以便獲得更多資訊

Also, if you'd like to support psych2go,

此外，如果你想支持 psych2go

we have a new Patreon account,

我們有一個新的 Patreon 帳戶

with rewards such as our psy pendants, t-shirts, magazines, and more.

我們對贊助者提供 psy 吊墜，T恤，雜誌等獎勵

Your funding will help us continue producing quality videos, and reach more people in need of help.

您的贊助可以幫助我們繼續製作高品質的影片，並幫助更多需要幫助的人

And as always, thanks for watching.

一如以往，感謝收看