Name: 【TED】LB Hannahs:做一個變性人的爸爸是什麼樣子的 (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs) (【TED】LB Hannahs: What it's like to be a transgender dad (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs))
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T07:38:16.000Z
Duration: 13 min 45 s

So the other morning I went to the grocery store

譯者: Lilian Chiu 審譯者: Yanyan Hong

with a "Good morning, sir, can I help you with anything?"

說：「早安，先生， 有什麼我能協助您的嗎？」

The person smiled and we went our separate ways.

我說：「不用，沒關係，我不需要。」

I grabbed Cheerios and I left the grocery store.

他微笑一下， 我們就各自做各自的事了。

And I went through the drive-through of a local coffee shop.

我買了早餐穀片（Cheerios）後， 離開了雜貨店。

After I placed my order, the voice on the other end said,

接著我開車到 本地咖啡店的得來速車道。

我點好餐之後，另一端的聲音說：

「謝謝您，女士，請開過來。」

I was understood both as a "sir" and as a "ma'am."

But for me, neither of these people are wrong,

我被認為是「先生」及「女士」。

但對我來說， 這兩個人都沒有錯，

This cute little human is my almost-two-year-old Elliot.

這個可愛的小傢伙， 是我的艾略特，快要兩歲了。

this kid has forced me to rethink the world

這個孩子迫使我重新思考這個世界，

I identify as transgender and as a parent, that makes me a transparent.

我是變性人（transgender） 也是家長 （parent），

所以我成了透明人（transparent）。

As you can see, I took this year's theme super literal.

你們可以發現，我完全取用了 今年 TED 主題的字面意思。

More specifically, I identify as genderqueer.

And there are lots of ways to experience being genderqueer,

but for me that means I don't really identify as a man or a woman.

I feel in between and sometimes outside of this gender binary.

而身為性別酷兒的體驗有很多種，

但對我來說，那就意味著 我不被視為男人或女人。

means that sometimes I get "sired" and "ma'amed"

我感覺身在兩性中間， 有時還覺得在兩性之外。

in the span of less than an hour when I'm out doing everyday things

就意味著，我只是出門做例行事項，

But this in between lane is where I'm most comfortable.

有時也會在不到一小時中， 被稱為「先生」及「女士」。

This space where I can be both a sir and a ma'am

feels the most right and the most authentic.

但我走在中間這線道上 才感到最舒適。

But it doesn't mean that these interactions aren't uncomfortable.

在這個空間中，我可以 既是先生也是女士，

Trust me, the discomfort can range from minor annoyance

這是我覺得最對也最真實的空間。

但那並不表示這些互動是舒服的。

相信我，不舒服的範圍 可以從小小的煩擾感

when a bouncer physically removed me by the back of the neck

比如，大學時，有次在酒吧裡，

But for me, authenticity doesn't mean "comfortable."

It means managing and negotiating the discomfort of everyday life,

但對我來說， 真實並不表示「舒服」。

And it wasn't until my experience as a trans person

它意味著，要處理和協調 日常生活中的不舒服，

collided with my new identity as a parent

that I understood the depth of my vulnerabilities

and how they are preventing me from being my most authentic self.

和我作為家長的新身份產生衝突時，

Now, for most people, what their child will call them

is not something that they give much thought to

以及脆弱如何讓我無法 做最真實的自己。

對大部分人來說， 他們的孩子要如何稱呼他們，

or variations on a gendered theme like "mama," "mommy," or "daddy," "papa."

But for me, the possibility is what this child,

用文化上很明確的用詞即可， 或性別稱謂的其他同義詞，

who will grow to be a teenager and then a real-life adult,

如「媽媽」、「媽咪」、 「爹地」、「爸爸」。

但對我來說， 這個孩子將來也會長大

And I spent nine months wrestling with the reality that being called "mama"

而在我們接下來的生命中， 他會如何稱呼我，

or something like it didn't feel like me at all.

非常讓人害怕，卻也讓人興奮。

And no matter how many times or versions of "mom" I tried,

我花了九個月的時間， 為了「媽媽」這件事掙扎，

it always felt forced and deeply uncomfortable.

類似這類的事， 讓我覺得完全不像自己。

I knew being called "mom" or "mommy" would be easier to digest for most people.

不論我試過多少次， 換過多少版本的「媽媽」，

The idea of having two moms is not super novel,

感覺就是很生硬， 且有種深深的不舒服。

我知道對多數人，被稱為「媽媽」 或「媽咪」會比較容易消化。

有兩個媽媽並不是非常新奇的事，

And when I played around with "daddy," it felt better.

It felt like a pair of shoes that you really liked

當我用「爹地」胡鬧著玩時， 感覺是比較好。

And I knew the idea of being a female-born person being called "daddy"

感覺就像一雙你真的很喜歡的鞋子，

was going to be a harder road with a lot more uncomfortable moments.

我知道因為我出生是女生， 要被稱為「爹地」

and Elliot came screaming into the world, like most babies do,

會是很艱辛的路， 且必然會有很多不舒服的時刻。

但是不知不覺間，時間就到了，

I decided on becoming a daddy, and our new family faced the world.

艾略特就像大部分的 寶寶一樣，呱呱落地，

Now one of the most common things that happens when people meet us

而我身為家長的新身份就開始了。

我決定要當爹地， 我們的新家庭要面對這個世界。

And when I get "momed", there are several ways the interaction can go,

當大家遇到我們的時候， 最常發生的狀況是

and I've drawn this map to help illustrate my options.

當我被稱為「媽」時， 接下來的互動會有幾種可能狀況，

So, option one is to ignore the assumption

我畫了張地圖協助說明我的選項。

and allow folks to continue to refer to me as "mom,"

which is not awkward for the other party,

And it usually causes me to restrict my interaction with those people.

且這會造成我沒那麼想和那些人互動。

"Actually, I'm Elliot's dad" or "Elliot calls me 'daddy.'"

And when I do this, one or two of the following things happen.

Folks take it in stride and say something like, "Oh, OK."

「其實，我是艾略特的爸爸。」 或「艾略特稱我為『爹地』。」

當我這麼做時， 下面的這些事有可能會發生。

對方從容應對，說：「喔，好。」

because they feel bad or awkward or guilty or weird.

But more often, what happens is folks get really confused

and look up with an intense look and say something like,

因為他們感覺很糟、 很尷尬、很罪惡，或很怪。

但通常，會發生的是， 對方感到十分困惑，

表情會很緊繃， 接著說類似這樣的話：

【TED】LB Hannahs:做一個變性人的爸爸是什麼樣子的 (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs) (【TED】LB Hannahs: What it's like to be a transgender dad (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs))

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【TED】LB Hannahs:做一個變性人的爸爸是什麼樣子的 (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs) (【TED】LB Hannahs: What it's like to be a transgender dad (What it's like to be a transgender dad | LB Hannahs))

awkward

authentic

journey

grocery