Name: 【TED】Maz Jobrani: 當一個沙烏地阿拉伯人、印度人、和伊朗人走進卡達的酒吧.... (A Saudi, an Indian and an Iranian walk into a Qatari bar ... | Maz Jobrani)
Uploaded: 2013-03-06T05:47:14.000Z
Duration: 7 min 12 s

哈囉，杜哈。哈囉。Salaam alaikum！（阿拉伯問候語：平安）

動名詞

I love coming to Doha. It's such an international place.

我喜歡來杜哈，這是一個多麼國際化的地方。

This is like -- it feels like the United Nations just here.

這就像是 — — 這裡就像聯合國。

You land at the airport, and you're welcomed by an Indian lady

你抵達機場，然後一位印度女士來接送你，

who takes you to Al Maha Services, where you meet a Filipino lady

她帶你到 Al Maha 服務站，在那你遇到一位菲律賓女士，

who hands you off to a South African lady

她又帶你去見一位南非來的女士，

who then takes you to a Korean who takes you to

然後這位女士又帶你去見一個韓國人，這人帶你

去見一個提著行李的巴基斯坦人，

who takes you to the car with a Sri Lankan.

這巴基斯坦人又帶你去找一個開著車的斯里蘭卡人，

You go to the hotel and you check in. There's a Lebanese.

你去旅館報到，那裡有黎巴嫩人，

Yeah? And then a Swedish guy showed me my room.

是吧？然後一個瑞典人領我到房間，

I said, "Where are the Qataris?" (Laughter)

我問：「卡達人都在哪啊？」（笑聲）

They said, "No, no, it's too hot. They come out later. They're smart."

他們說：「不，不，天氣太熱了，他們晚點才會出門。他們很聰明」

And of course it's growing so fast, sometimes there's growing pains.

當然當一個城市發展得很快，煩惱也隨之增長。

You know, like sometimes you run into people that you think

你知道，比如，有時候你遇見某些人，

know the city well, but they don't know it that well.

這些人非常瞭解這個城市，但他們事實上沒那麼瞭解。

and I asked him to take me to the Sheraton,

I said, "What's wrong?"He said, "One problem, sir."

我說，「有什麼不對勁嗎？」他說：「先生，有一個問題。」

我說：「什麼問題？」他說：「喜來登在哪裡？」

I go, "You're the driver, you should know."He goes, "No, I just arrived, sir."

我說：「你是司機，你應該知道才對。」他說：「不，先生，我才剛到這裡。」

I go, "You just arrived at the W?""No, I just arrived in Doha, sir.

我問：「你剛剛到達 W 飯店？」「不，先生，我才剛到杜哈，

I was on my way home from the airport. I got a job.

我在從機場回家的路上找到了工作，

他說：「先生，你為什麼不開車？」

我說：「我不知道我們要去哪裡？」

"Neither do I. It will be an adventure, sir."

「我也不知道。先生，這將是一段冒險。」

It is an adventure. The Middle East has been an adventure the past couple years.

這是一段冒險，過去幾年來，中東地區一直都是一段冒險行程。

The Middle East is going crazy with the Arab Spring

and revolution and all this. Are there any Lebanese here tonight?

為革命以及所有這一切狂熱著。今晚在這兒有黎巴嫩人嗎？

Any Lebanese by applause? (Applause) Lebanese.

黎巴嫩人請鼓掌（掌聲）黎巴嫩人。

你們知道，正當中東正狂熱著的時候，

when Lebanon is the most peaceful place in the region.

黎巴嫩卻是這區域最和平的地方。

No. There's serious issues in the region.

Some people don't want to talk about them. I'm here to talk about them tonight.

有些人不想談論這些；今晚在這兒，我就要談一談。

here's a serious issue. When we see each other,

這區域有個嚴重的問題：當我們看到彼此時，

when we say hello, how many kisses are we going to do?

當我們說你好，我們要親幾次吻？

Every country is different and it's confusing, okay?

每個國家都不同，這很令人困惑，好嗎？

In Lebanon, they do three. In Egypt, they do two.

在黎巴嫩，他們親三次，在埃及，他們親兩次，

我在黎巴嫩時已經習慣了親三次。

I went to Egypt. I went to say hello to this one Egyptian guy,

我跑去埃及，我對一個埃及人說哈囉，

I went, one, two. I went for three. He wasn't into it.

我親了，一次，兩次，當我準備親第三次時，他受夠了。

I told him, I said, "No, no, no, I was just in Lebanon."

我告訴他，我說：「不，不，不，我剛才在黎巴嫩。」

He goes, "I don't care where you were. You just stay where you are, please. Just stay where you are."

他說：「我管你剛才在哪，你就待在你原來的地方吧，待那就好。」

I went to Saudi Arabia. In Saudi Arabia, they go one, two,

我跑去沙烏地阿拉伯。在沙烏地阿拉伯，他們親一次， 兩次，

and then they stay on the same side -- three, four, five, six,

然後他們留在同一側——3、4、5、6、

seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18.

7、8、9、 10、 11、 12、 13、 14、 15、 16、 17、 18。

Next time you see a Saudi, look closely. They're just a little bit tilted.

下次你們見到沙烏地阿拉伯人，你們仔細觀察，他們姿勢有點傾斜。

"Abdul, are you okay?""Yeah, I was saying hello for half an hour.

「阿卜杜勒，你還好吧？」「還可以，我說哈囉說了半小時。」

卡達人，你們這些傢伙鼻子碰鼻子。

Why is that? Are you too tired to go all the way around?

這是為什麼？你們太累了，不能這麼繞一便親吻嗎？

"Habibi, it's so hot. Just come here for a second. Say hello.

「Habibi（阿拉伯語：朋友）好熱，我剛到這裡，說你好。

Hello, Habibi. Just don't move. Just stay there please.

你好，Habibi。別動，請留在那裡，

Every country — Iranians, sometimes we do two, sometimes we do three.

每個國家 — — 伊朗人，有時我們親兩次，有時我們親三次，

A friend of mine explained to me, before the '79 revolution,

我的一個朋友向我解釋，在 1979 年革命以前是兩次；

So with Iranians, you can tell whose side the person is on

所以和伊朗人在一起時，你可以根據他們親吻你的數次

based on the number of kisses they give you.

Yeah, if you go one, two, three -- "I can't believe you support this regime

是啊，如果你親一次、兩次、 三次 — —「噢我真敢不相信你支持這個政權

But no, guys, really, it is exciting to be here,

但是，不，各位，真的，來到這裡真的很令人興奮，

and like I said, you guys are doing a lot culturally,

就像我說過的，你們在文化上做了很多事，

you know, and it's amazing, and it helps change the image

of the Middle East in the West. Like a lot of Americans

改變中東地區在西方的形象，比如，很多美國人

don't know a lot about us, about the Middle East.

不瞭解我們，也不瞭解中東地區，

I'm Iranian and American. I'm there. I know, I've traveled here.

我是伊朗人也是美國人，我在那裡。我知道，我到這兒旅行過。

很多人不理解，我們也會笑，是吧？

People don't know we laugh. When I did the Axis of Evil comedy tour,

他們不知道我們會笑。當我巡迴表演「邪惡軸心」喜劇的時候，

it came out on Comedy Central, I went online

它上了<喜劇中心>節目後，我上網

to see what people were saying about it. I ended up on a conservative website.

看看人們怎麼評價它，最後我來到一個保守的網站，

One guy wrote another guy. He said, "I never knew these people laughed."

一個傢伙留言另一個傢伙，他說：「我從來不知道這些人會笑。」

Think about it. You never see us laughing in American film or television, right?

想想看，你永遠不會看到我們在美國電視或電影裡頭笑，對吧？

Maybe like an evil -- like, "Wuhahaha, wuhahaha. (Laughter)

如果有的話就像魔鬼......像這樣：「唔吼哈哈， 唔吼哈哈。」（笑聲）

I will kill you in the name of Allah, wuhahahahaha."

我會以阿拉的名殺了你，「唔吼哈哈哈哈哈。」

But never like, "ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha."

但從來沒有像這樣：「哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈 哈。」

We like to laugh. We like to celebrate life.

我們喜歡笑，我們喜歡慶祝生命。

And I wish more Americans would travel here. I always encourage my friends:

我希望更多美國人會來這裡旅行，我總是鼓勵我的朋友們：

Travel, see the Middle East, there's so much to see, so many good people.

去旅行，去看看中東，那裡有許多東西可看，許多很棒的人。

And it's vice versa, and it helps stop problems

of misunderstanding and stereotypes from happening.

For example, I don't know if you heard about this,

例如，我不知道你們是否聽過這事，

a little while ago in the U.S. there was a Muslim family

前陣子在美國，有一個穆斯林家庭

talking about the safest place to sit on the plane.

他們聊到飛機上最安全的座位，

Some passengers overheard them, somehow misconstrued

that as terrorist talk, got them kicked off the plane.

誤以為那是關於恐怖份子的對話，於是把他們趕下飛機。

It was a family, a mother, father, child, walking down the aisle,

那是一個家庭， 母親、 父親、 孩子，他們走在過道上，

字幕列表影片播放

【TED】Maz Jobrani: 當一個沙烏地阿拉伯人、印度人、和伊朗人走進卡達的酒吧.... (A Saudi, an Indian and an Iranian walk into a Qatari bar ... | Maz Jobrani)

walk

airplane

safest

plane