We've been here for like half an hour,

我們已經站了快半小時了好嗎

Excuse me, but I'm a sandwich artiste

不好意思，我可是位潛艇堡藝術師

Now if you've got a problem with it take your ass down the McDonald's. It's right around the corner.

如果你有任何意見，請到轉角那間麥當勞

Yes. Okay. I'll talk to you later.

好好，我等等再跟你說

Okay

好

So what I'm gonna need are two Parmesan hot bread six inch subs with extra Italian

我想要兩份六吋熱的巴馬乾酪麵包，義大利經典口味

one rat sized nibble of cheese baked onto two half palms of lettuce, dashed with sweet pepper spritzed with hand pressed authentic olive oil.

小小的乳酪碎塊放在兩片萵苣葉上烤，撒上甜椒還有手壓純正橄欖油

Filled with Swedish roast beef fused with another six inches of the Sun veggie vegan veterinarian style brought down from the Himalayas by a well mannered Sherpa named Gogu.

另一份六吋陽光素食潛艇堡要夾瑞典烤牛肉，裡面的蔬菜要從喜馬拉雅山上由一位教養優良的雪巴人摘下來，他的名字叫 Gogu

OK...Eh...

好...呃...

You want a six-inch Pakistan?

妳說妳要六吋巴基斯坦......？

What ?

那是什麼？

Every subway smells the same.

每間 Subway 聞起來都一樣

-Hi, um, I'd like a salad, please. -Okay. What kind of bread?

-哈囉，我想要一份沙拉謝謝 -好的，請問要哪種麵包呢？

-No, a salad. -Right, what kind of bread?

-不是啦，我要沙拉 -好的，搭配哪種麵包呢？

None, a salad!

都不用，我要的是沙拉！

Right, what kind of bread option?

好，但妳要哪一種麵包？

(PLEASE TAKE OFF HEADPHONES)

(請拿開耳機)

A SALLAAAAAAD---

我要的是沙！拉！

SUBWAY IS THE BEST 'CAUSE IT'S FRESH

Subway 最棒了因為它很新鮮

-All right, man, you're all set. Eat fresh! -I'm sorry

-您的餐點準備好了，趁新鮮吃！ -不好意思你說什麼？

-It's our slogan, Eat fresh! -I should eat fresh? So you're telling me to not eat this sandwich

-我們的廣告口號啊，趁新鮮吃！-我該吃新鮮食物？你是說我不該吃這個潛艇堡？

No.

不是這樣的

-Why does all your bread look sad? -Doesn't matter, it's fresh!

-為什麼你們的麵包看起來不怎麼樣？-那不重要！它很新鮮！

Greeting sir or madam, so I'm trying to eat healthier now, so that's why I'm here at Subway today.

你好，先生或女士，我現在正嘗試健康一點的飲食，這也就是為什麼我今天來到 Subway

-Do you have whole wheat bread? -Of course we do! -Perfect!

-你們有全麥麵包嗎？-當然囉 -太好了

I'll get two foot-long meatball subs with double Provolone and an extra row of meatballs and the largest Coke that you have.

那我要兩份十二吋肉丸堡加上雙倍波羅伏洛起司，還要多一排肉丸以及最大杯的可樂

And then instead of chips, can I instead get a three foot long party sub dunked in mayo?

然後我不要薯片，請問我可以改搭配三吋派對潛艇堡加上美乃滋嗎？

-You look fresh. What's your name? -Subway

-你看起來很新鮮，叫什麼名字？-Subway

I SAİD A SALAAAD!

我說我要的是沙拉！！！

WHAT KIND OF BREAAAD?!?!

搭配哪種麵包？？？

NO BREAAAD! JUST VEGETABLES IN A BOWL

不用麵包！把菜放碗裡就行了！

What...

哪種...

Wait uhh Bread Bowl ?

等等，妳的意思是要麵包碗嗎？

NNNNNOO---

才不！！！

How many types of bread do Subway's sell?

Subway 提供幾種麵包？

-Lettuce and tomato? -Yes, please. And could I also get spinach,

-萵苣跟番茄可以嗎？-嗯謝謝，我還想要菠菜、

cucumbers, onions both the white and the purple please

小黃瓜、洋蔥、紫洋蔥也要

Oh oh pickles and

噢噢還有醃黃瓜、

bell peppers, cheese both shredded and sliced obviously. -Sweet. Is that it?

-彩椒、起司碎還有起司片都要 -沒問題，就這樣嗎？

Oh I'm sorry, uh, could I get a little more lettuce, please?

-噢不好意思，可以再多一點萵苣嗎？

Give me more lettuce. Just just a little, a little more lettuce, please, please sir. Am I gonna have to call your manager?

我想要更多萵苣，再多一點，請再多加一點萵苣。你要我叫你主管來嗎？

I want more lettuce. Perfect. Just wrap it on up and I'll be on my merry way.

我要更多萵苣，很好，幫我捲起來就大功告成了

-All right, there you go. -Thank you, sir. -Eat fresh.

-好啦這是您的餐點 -謝謝您 -趁新鮮吃喔

Could I actually get my 12-inch cut into six two inches and then those cut in half into one inch one inches.

請問我可以把 12 吋堡切成兩塊 6 吋的，然後再把那兩半一吋一吋切開嗎？

Great now put all the vegetables into the bowl.

很好，現在請把所有蔬菜放進碗裡

Wow! So it's only vegetables.

哇噢！這只有蔬菜耶

-Yes. A salad. It's perfect. Thank you. -You're welcome. So would you like this toasted?

-沒錯，這就是沙拉，謝謝 -不客氣，需要我幫你烤一下嗎？

No!

千萬不用

How long would you like this toasted for?

請問您想烤多久呢？

I like subs; I'm not talking about subtraction.

我好喜歡潛艇；我不是在說水裡面的潛艇

I've got every single one. Pokemon, not STDs.

我每一種都有，我是指神奇寶貝不是性病

-Hi, I would love a cup of broccoli cheddar soup. -Oh my god!

-嗨我想要一碗花椰菜巧達濃湯 -我的天啊！

-She's here! -The chosen one! -The day finally came! No one ever buys our soup!

-就是她！-被選中的那個人！-這天終於來臨了！從來沒有人會買我們的湯

-It would be my honor to serve you soup, my dear lady. -Yes!

-親愛的女士，能為您奉上一碗湯是我的無上榮幸 -沒錯！

We only have chicken noodle soup today.

我們今天只有雞絲麵湯

Ah Tuesdays broccoli cheddar day

啊，週二才有花椰菜切達濃湯

I'm so sorry. We've let you down, our chosen one.

我很抱歉，我們讓您，被選中的那個人，感到失望了

-See you in the next life, dear friend. -In the next life, dear friend.

-朋友我們下輩子見 -下輩子再見

(SCREAM)

(叫喊中)

Oh wait, why isn't it burning?

噢等等，為什麼湯不是滾燙的？

I don't know, did we forget to plug the soup in?

我也不懂，我們忘了插上插頭嗎？

-We haven't had it plugged in in years. We discontinued it in like 2008. -Oh my god. I guess it's just been sitting there.

-我們從 2008 年起就把插頭拔掉了 -噢天啊，它一直維持那般狀態

-Weird. -Okay in that case, I will just get a salad. -For sure. What type of bread?

-太妙了 -好既然這樣，我就來份沙拉吧 -沒問題，要搭配哪種麵包呢？

Thank you guys so much for keeping freaky-freaky-fresh with us.

非常感謝大家陪我們一起瘋癲又新鮮

Click the but on the left to watch every McDonald's ever and click the bus on the right to watch every church ever.

請點左邊的按鈕觀賞麥當勞集錦，或者點右邊看各式各樣的教堂